I’ve Already Written About My Very First Kiss So I’m Going to Go With My First Gay Kiss

Summary

Keeley Schroder recounts her transformative first gay kiss at age 20 with a coworker, which led to a profound realization of her sexuality and a significant romantic encounter.

Abstract

In a personal narrative for Keeley Schroder's February Writing Challenge, Schroder describes her experience of kissing a male coworker for the first time, which marked her first gay kiss. At 20 years old, she had recently ended a long-term relationship and was working at a farmer's market where she developed a crush on a coworker she believed to be straight. The story unfolds as they both reveal their mutual attraction during a day spent together at his house, leading to an intimate encounter that awakens Schroder's repressed sexuality. The kiss was so impactful that it led to more, and although their relationship was short-lived due to his impending move to Texas and their shared closeted status, the experience left an indelible mark on Schroder, influencing her future relationships and self-discovery.

Opinions

Schroder initially thought her coworker was straight and did not pursue him until he invited her over, revealing their mutual attraction.
The first kiss with her coworker was a pivotal moment for Schroder, making her feel alive and questioning her past repressed feelings as a religious kid.
She acknowledges that the kiss felt right and good, contrasting it with her lack of excitement during her first kiss with a girl in elementary school.
Schroder admits to being "too easy" by engaging in intimacy quickly, indicating some regret about the speed of their physical relationship.
Despite the brevity of their time together and the knowledge that they would likely not reconnect, both she and her coworker expressed love before parting ways, describing the moment as magical.
Schroder reflects on the significance of the kiss, which sparked a range of emotions and was a turning point in her life, leading her to eventually find lasting love with someone else.
She appreciates Keeley's writing prompts for allowing her to explore and share such personal and transformative experiences.

I was young when I first started kissing but I didn’t really care for it until I got much older

I will include the link for my first kiss in school below but I want to talk about the really juicy stuff in this prompt. I was 20 years old at the time. I worked at a farmer’s market and there was this bigger guy that I worked with at the time that I had a small crush on.

I thought that he was straight though and didn’t heavily pursue the matter. That was until he invited me over to his house to hang out one day. Apparently, I would come to find out that he also had a crush on me as well.

I got to his house and things started off slowly but then got super heated very quickly. “Have you ever kissed a guy before, Gerald?” he asked.

“No, I had just gotten out of a long-term relationship with my high school sweetheart and I hadn’t really kissed anyone. You also can’t count that time on a dare when I kissed my younger neighborhood friend because that was on a dare under the mistletoe. Okay, I’m talking too much, aren’t I?”

“Shut up, you’re cute,” he said before just planting one on me. I felt alive, my sexuality had been shaken up and awoken. I didn’t know if I was falling for him or the idea that I had discovered my hidden sexuality after all of the years of being a repressed, religious kid.

I just know that it felt good and it felt right. I was never going to go back to being straight after that kiss. This reaction was the exact opposite one that I had after getting kissed by a girl for the first time in elementary school.

The kiss was so good in fact that it led to a lot more that day. Yeah, I know, I was too easy giving it up that fast but I got caught up in the moment. We spent so many hours together that day and ended up overpromising on things we were unsure about.

We were both still in the closet. He was about to move to Texas to pursue nursing. I was just going to be an afterthought if he followed through and I would probably never see or talk to him again. He gave me his number and told me to call him. I even went with him and drove him to the bus station when it was time for him to go.

I said, “I love you,” in what sounded like the emptiest gesture ever knowing we’d probably not reconnect. He said it too but I think that he could feel what I was feeling. We were right. We’d never see each other again but at the moment, everything felt right and was so magical. I could never replicate that feeling until I got with Mike, and now I feel the magic every time I kiss him.

The tale of tragically short and closeted young gay love and a kiss that sparked so many emotions was very fun to write. Thanks to Keeley for all of the great prompts in February. Here’s most of the crew who’s writing alongside me.

Also, as promised here’s the Sturg’s very first lip lock from elementary school that I briefly mentioned in the story.

DAY 17 OF 28 OF Keeley Schroder’S FEBRUARY WRITING CHALLENGE

I’ve Already Written About My Very First Kiss So I’m Going to Go With My First Gay Kiss

I was young when I first started kissing but I didn’t really care for it until I got much older

Sorry, the February Challenge Is Officially a Shit-Show

Please feel free to send me punches instead of claps…

The Lack of Thrill in My Very First Kiss And Wondering Why

A Kiss I’d Received on the Playground That I Didn’t Feel Much For