It’s time for you to become emotionally intelligent
Smarts are worthless without the ability to deepen our connection with self and those we love.
by: E.B. Johnson
Are you an emotionally intelligent person? Emotional intelligence is how we build deeper relationships with people and the world around us. More than that, it’s how we get to a point of self-clarity. To know who you are, you have to know how you’re feeling and why. We have to become students of our own emotions and learn how to process what’s happening around us before we react to it. From there, we can communicate more honestly and look at life from a more positive and motivated place.
Why emotional intelligence matters.
There can be no denying the fact that building emotional intelligence is an important part of creating better lives. Through emotional awareness, we are better able to lead others, communicate our needs, and connect with people across all walks of life. Looking for inner fulfillment? Better relationships? It all begins with getting control over your emotional body.
Improving ability to lead
Are you someone who takes a natural leadership role in life? Maybe you own your own business, or you lead your family at home. In any instance, increasing our emotional intelligence helps us to become better leaders in any way that matters to us. That’s because emotional intelligence gives us clarity of self, and helps us to better understand the emotive and vibrant people that we have in our lives.
Boosting honest conversation
Communication is the backbone of how we communicate as humans. We have to communicate in order to build our relationships and to break them. It’s how we get on the same page, fall in love, fight, express how we feel. Emotional intelligence adds extra layers to this communication and makes it easier for us to have honest conversations (including the tough ones).
Increased self-awareness
Digging into our emotions is a trip right into the heart and soul of who we are. When we question the way we’re feeling (and why) we come to know more of who we are and where our beliefs and values come from. This increases our self-awareness, and that increased self-awareness can help us to boost our confidence and the quality of our relationships. When you know who you are, you know what you want. It’s only a matter of acting on it from there.
More fulfilling relationships
Perhaps the greatest benefit of emotional intelligence for some, we build more fulfilling relationships when we plug into this self-awareness. It’s inevitable. The more aware you become of your own emotions, the more aware you become of the emotions of others. From there, you have a greater ability to understand them and the struggles they face. This creates incredible communication with strengthens and deepens our bonds.
Greater motivation
Emotionally intelligent people experience a greater deal of motivation in life. This comes from several places. They tend to be more positive because they have a great understanding of self. More than that, though, they know they are capable and well surrounded by friends and loved ones. They can tap into their motivation and look forward to the future because they know that have control over self.
Endless inner fulfillment
When you unlock the door on emotional intelligence, you create an opportunity for endless inner fulfillment. That’s because there’s a great deal of personal growth that comes with raising your emotional intelligence. As you become more aware of who you are and what you want, you’re equipped to discover new aspects of yourself as well as skills and strengths you didn’t know you had.
How to become more emotionally intelligent.
Are you ready to increase your emotional intelligence? We can consciously and mindfully do this by learning how to process our emotions, question ourselves, and embrace a deeper empathy. From there, we can connect more genuinely and foster more harmonious communication at every front of your life.
1. Process before you react
The biggest barrier to emotional intelligence is a lack of self-awareness. The person who lacks this awareness is someone who struggles to control themselves. They don’t take charge of their emotions. They’re reactive. Whether angry or sad, once their emotions bubble up to the surface they lash out before fully taking the time to process and understand what’s going on (or what they want).
Process your feelings (and your thoughts) before you react to any stimuli in your life. Don’t let your anger push your buttons. Don’t let the grief or the sadness pressure you into lashing out. Instead, become the chief of your own emotions. Stop them in their tracks and process them before letting them out.
You don’t have to respond right away. You don’t have to snap back or have a response for someone. Whenever you are confronted with challenging or difficult situations, you can take a step back and take some time to process and reflect on your own. Figure out what’s going on. Try to look at things from several perspectives. Think about the pros and cons of the different reactions and choose the one that works best for you and your situation.
2. Communicate more authentically
Emotional awareness is a beautiful skill to possess. You can see other people on a different level, and you can see yourself differently too. When this occurs, the way you communicate is changed. You speak to yourself with more grace, positivity, and compassion. Likewise, you will be better equipped to communicate openly and honestly with those who matter most to you.
Communicate more authentically with everyone around you — especially yourself. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Consider your words carefully and pick the words that most accurately help you to describe the way you’re feeling. When something is important to you, speak up.
We can communicate all of our emotions without creating conflict. You can be assertive, you can create boundaries, all without explosions and skirmishes. It’s a matter of retaining respect and focusing on your natural compassion. Speak to others the way you would want to have them speak to you. Focus on your emotions, your feelings, and never begin with phrases like, “You should…” or “You are…” Start every statement with, “I feel…” or “I like…” Keep it as positive as possible.
3. Learn how to question yourself
Questioning ourselves is an invaluable skill, especially as you aim to grow and create a better life for yourself. Through questioning, we can identify and resolve the pain in our pasts. But we’re also able to better see the issues in front of us, and our needs within those situations. Asking ourselves these tough questions isn’t always easy, though. We have to be brutally honest with ourselves and strike at the heart of what’s really wrong.
Learn how to question yourself and your feelings. We’re only human, and the emotions that we have are powerful. In order to avoid the overwhelm, we have to stop where we’re at and question ourselves any time we face hardship or the challenge of difficult emotions.
When someone makes you angry, take a step back and question yourself. Why is your anger aroused? Is it directly related to the person who you’re dealing with? Or does the situation remind you of something you still feel injustice for in the past? Question also the person you’re standing in front of. Are they acting from a place of sincerity? Or is there a wounded child behind their broken behavior? Questioning ourselves in this way unlocks the door in a deeper sense of empathy.
4. Tap into your deepest empathy
There can be no emotional intelligence without a great deal of empathy. It’s a core component of the process. Empathy involves recognizing the emotions of others and feeling them yourself. You can put yourself in their shoes, and better understand who they are and where they’re coming from. To be emotionally in-tune and aware, we have to tap into this natural sense of empathy.
Tap into the deepest part of your empathy and try to see the emotions that you have come to understand in yourself, in others. Just as you get angry and insecure, see that everyone around you feels these things too. Rather than reacting, seek to understand.
Our lives are dramatically improved when we learn to react with empathy to others. We can minimize conflict and see better ways to communicate effectively. Empathy has to be a choice, though. While your emotional intelligence increases, you will see where it lacks in others. Frustratingly, you have to use your empathy in order to get beyond your initial urge to react in these instances. This will elevate the way you see yourself in the world and it will elevate the relationships you share with important people in your life.
5. Embrace growth and change
At the heart of emotional intelligence, building is a mound of personal and professional growth. In order for this to be a worthwhile process, we have to embrace this growth. It’s how we get better. Through growth, we get the relationships that we deserve and the lives that we want. While it’s uncomfortable, it’s beautiful too. To grow and change is to become the person who we want to be.
Embrace growth and change as a natural (and beneficial ) part of life. When you allow life to move you — and you move yourself — toward those things which are more authentically meant for you, everything changes.
Look at these shifts in self and prosperity not as the end of the road. Instead, see them as a new beginning. Challenges are opportunities to transition ourselves and discover more meaningful parts of ourselves. When we stop running away from the obstacles that life presents us, we can move beyond them and right into the heart of emotional growth, intelligence, and change. That’s a beautiful thing that brings us an even deeper connection with the world around us.
Putting it all together…
Would you describe yourself as an emotionally intelligent person? We need emotional intelligence in order to create lives that are fulfilling and happy. It helps us to understand our emotions and our motivations. And it helps us to understand those we deem important to us too. Want to be more successful in life or in love? It’s not a matter of having smarts. It’s a matter of knowing your heart inside and out.
Process your emotions before you react to any stimuli that presents itself to you throughout your day-to-day. Question yourself and your emotions before you fly off the handle or fall apart. Is this really going to bring you closer to what you want? Tap into a deeper sense of empathy. See the emotions that you deal with daily in others and use this new knowledge to relate to them on more authentic levels. As your emotional intelligence increases, embrace the growth that comes. Embrace too the increased motivation that comes. When you make this change a positive part of your life, you will change the way you approach everything from love to shaping the future you’re manifesting around you every single day.
