It’s Okay to Have Simple Dreams

Not everyone wants to be the boss.

America is known as the “Land of Opportunity,” where anyone can climb the ladder and make it to the top. It doesn’t work like that at all, especially if you’re not a white male, but that’s what the billing says, so that’s what a lot of people believe.

For a while, it’s what I thought I wanted. I thought I wanted to be my own boss, to own a business and maybe be a landlord, to be independently wealthy and able to do whatever I wanted with my money. I could have employees, manage things, move money around, that kind of stuff.

It turns out that that’s not what I want at all. I’m not a social climber and don’t aspire to reach the top of the social ladder. I hate people as a rule, so managing more than one or two of them — never mind a whole company — seems like a horrible idea to me. In my line of work, I could be an independent contractor, but my charisma is a quiet one, so marketing myself to anyone and everyone makes me feel uncomfortable.

This has caused me some consternation in the past and still does a bit. For a while, I was worried about what my career prospects were. I like working in small and mid-sized nonprofits writing grants. I don’t like being a manager, so having more than one or two people reporting to me expecting instructions seems like my idea of hell.

Unfortunately, that cuts off many of my avenues for career growth. If I were willing to manage people, I could go into general fundraising and be a Chief Development Officer or something like that, managing a team of fundraisers. I don’t like that idea — I’m not an extrovert and I don’t think I’d be good at all the things my boss does.

I could also move to a bigger nonprofit — there’s a prestigious university in my town that has a huge fundraising team where I could probably make a lot more money if I wanted. However, they are known for being competitive and cutthroat, so I think it would be best for me to avoid them, even though I have a few colleagues that work there.

That left me feeling stuck where I am. My salary isn’t bad — I make enough money to support myself, my partner, and our four cats, so I’m not hurting. However, my growth options are limited in a lot of ways while I’m at my current job, and while I don’t expect to work here forever, I will likely not make a whole lot more than I do now.

Honestly, I’m starting to be okay with that.

I’ve established several things here: I don’t want to be the boss, own a company, or manage people. I’ll never be a social climber, and I’ll never be a corporate climber either. It’s not in my nature and it’s not what I want in life. And you know what? That’s okay.

America is the land of opportunity, but it’s built on the backs of a lot of people who aren’t the boss. We need factory workers and baristas and cashiers and executive assistants to function as a society. If everyone was the boss, then nobody would be the boss. We’d just be a bunch of one-person S-corps and society would collapse.

The best way I’ve seen it described is with plants. Some people are like redwoods: reaching for the sky, growing as tall as possible, climbing the ladder. Not everyone is a redwood. Some of us are smaller trees: blossoming cherry trees, never growing very tall but beautiful nonetheless. Sturdy walnut trees, stout and a bit nutty. Pine trees, always going, slow and steady.

Then there are a whole host of other types of plants. The dandelions, who may not grow very tall but send roots so deep that you’d be a fool to try and uproot them. The creeping plants like ivy and thyme, who spread themselves out across so many areas that they probably know a little bit about everything. The citrus bushes are a bit delicate and don’t react well to harsh conditions but produce beautiful, flavorful fruits if you care for them correctly.

You know best what kind of plant you are. If you aspire to be a redwood, then reach for the sky. If you’d rather be creeping thyme and learn a bit about everything, then grow wild and free. If you are a dandelion, then dive so deep into your area that anyone who might challenge you will have to give up because your roots are just that deep.

And, if you are a fruiting bush, making amazing fruits that people enjoy but never growing very large, don’t let anyone tell you that you have to be a redwood. If you are an evergreen, don’t let someone tell you that you need to be creeping thyme. Don’t let people dictate what you need to do with your life or career.

If you don’t want to be a manager, then don’t. If you don’t want to be a CEO, or a business owner, or a sole proprietor, then don’t. If you like waiting tables, then do it. If you like being a barista, then do it. You might have to figure out a way to make it work, but if you can, do what you love. The money may not follow, and that by itself is a pretty good argument for better wages and benefits, but that’s another article entirely.

The point is, don’t let anyone tell you what you want to do with your life or career. If you do want to be the CEO, then go for it. But, if you’re happy to be a front-line worker, or an executive assistant, or a maintenance technician, then don’t let people tell you that you should aim to do something “better” with your life.

I am a grant writer, and barring any major life changes I will likely be a grant writer for my whole career. I may not ever reach a position where I am managing a whole department or even just one person, but that’s fine. Part of my professional growth in the past few years has been coming to terms with the fact that being “just a grant writer” is okay.

I don’t really want to run a department, or be my own boss, or be the head honcho. I might be fine managing one or two people, but that’s probably it. All I really want out of my career is to write grants, do good work, collect my paycheck, and enjoy my weekends with my partner and friends. There is nothing wrong with that, and anyone who tells you otherwise is either selling something or doesn’t have your best interests at heart.

It’s okay to not want to be a boss or a manager, and it’s okay to be happy with a “low-level” job. You know best what kind of plant you are. Nurture yourself and you’ll flourish.

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