It’s Hard to Change Perspectives, So Don’t Fret Upon Them

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Abstract

efrain from commenting intelligently.An example would further illustrate my point and inspire you to do the same when a similar situation occurs.<blockquote id="6a35">My first project as a graduate student was to write a research paper about my family history. I dug deep into the archives and libraries for primary sources to highlight their contributions to the regions where they lived since their arrival in the thirteenth century.</blockquote>The fascinating childhood stories about them echoed in my mind, and I was anxious to find factual evidence. What I discovered conflicted with the familiar narrative spun for generations and was full of ambiguities, exaggerations, and nonsensical anecdotes.My research pulled the veil off the vagueness of the real faces who were humble, simple, and committed to community development. They were well-respected, hardworking, and learned individuals but not superheroes as depicted in the remembered versions of my family.<blockquote id="4f94">None of the family members like this version. I was completely fine with that, but the long line of inquiries, especially from the long-lost family, challenged my findings.</blockquote>Unknowingly, I had become involved in a tussle of heard and remembered versions of the family history. The heard version has more room for fabrication and exaggeration, so it’s more attractive, and I willingly extracted my research project from familial scrutiny. Not only that, but I also never intervened whenever the mighty tales were repeated in my presence.<blockquote id="0e82">It taught me that expertise and wisdom are not always welcomed, and one must use them with extreme caution, extra care, and exalted compassion.</blockquote>© Fatima Imam (All Rights Reserved)This post is written in response to <a href="undefined">Dr. Preeti Singh</a>’s Life Column prompt for Dancing Elephant Press:<div id="0ace" class="link-block">

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<a href="https://readmedium.com/life-is-sweet-and-sour-1084e0f020b2">
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            <h2>Life Is Sweet And Sour</h2>
            <div><h3>We learn so many lessons through our experiences</h3></div>
            <div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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    </div><p id="00c7">Sincere thanks to the illustrious editors of DEP <a href="undefined">Dr. Gabriella Korosi</a> <a href="undefined">Dr. Preeti Singh</a> <a href="undefined">Vidya Sury, Collecting Smiles</a> <a href="undefined">Annelise Lords</a> <a href="undefined">DR Rawson - The Possibilist</a> <a href="undefined">Libby Shively McAvoy</a> for providing an amazing outlet for my creativity. ❤️❤️</p><p id="8bbe"><a href="undefined">Yana Bostongirl</a>’s post will inspire you to live a life without regrets:</p><div id="1285" class="link-block">
      <a href="https://readmedium.com/how-embarking-on-a-regret-free-life-is-reshaping-the-course-of-my-story-99d5aca14617">
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          <div>
            <h2>How Embarking On a Regret-Free Life is Reshaping the Course of My Story</h2>
            <div><h3>In response to Dancing Elephants prompt 1 of Life Column</h3></div>
            <div><p>medium.com</p></div>
          </div>
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            <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*nBHIG4A5Fom17c2RZ4CNRQ.jpeg)"></div>
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    </div><p id="4b1f">Thank you for reading my post. ❤️❤️ Get email alerts when I publish: <a href="https://faimam.medium.com/subscribe">https://faimam.medium.com/subscribe</a>. Find me on <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/fatima-imam-historian/">LinkedIn</a>| <a href="https://twitter.com/drfaimam">Twitter</a></p></article></body>

It’s Hard to Change Perspectives, So Don’t Fret Upon Them

In response to Dancing Elephants prompt 1 of Life Column

I don’t impart words of wisdom nor offer nuggets of advice to anyone, including my children. I follow this philosophy after being misunderstood, misquoted, and misrepresented by numerous individuals and on several personal and professional occasions.

Being a historian, I prided myself on having a neutral outlook on matters irrespective of their content as I dive into the whys and how before drawing any conclusions.

I instinctively jump to provide an alternative viewpoint by giving historical background and citing examples. For decades, I always found myself on the defensive side, even when the issue was regarding my own identity, diligently examining why something was said and what context.

Surprisingly, even then, people didn’t change their opinions about the issue and warped my input into their version, making me look ill-informed or injudicious.

When I was younger, it was hard for me to deal with these situations, and I wasted a lot of time and energy articulating my point of view in the hope that people would oblige me by giving me a fair chance.

I stopped giving opinions for my peace of mind, even if it was requested most earnestly. Now, I listen more intently, smile more indulgently, and refrain from commenting intelligently.

An example would further illustrate my point and inspire you to do the same when a similar situation occurs.

My first project as a graduate student was to write a research paper about my family history. I dug deep into the archives and libraries for primary sources to highlight their contributions to the regions where they lived since their arrival in the thirteenth century.

The fascinating childhood stories about them echoed in my mind, and I was anxious to find factual evidence. What I discovered conflicted with the familiar narrative spun for generations and was full of ambiguities, exaggerations, and nonsensical anecdotes.

My research pulled the veil off the vagueness of the real faces who were humble, simple, and committed to community development. They were well-respected, hardworking, and learned individuals but not superheroes as depicted in the remembered versions of my family.

None of the family members like this version. I was completely fine with that, but the long line of inquiries, especially from the long-lost family, challenged my findings.

Unknowingly, I had become involved in a tussle of heard and remembered versions of the family history. The heard version has more room for fabrication and exaggeration, so it’s more attractive, and I willingly extracted my research project from familial scrutiny. Not only that, but I also never intervened whenever the mighty tales were repeated in my presence.

It taught me that expertise and wisdom are not always welcomed, and one must use them with extreme caution, extra care, and exalted compassion.

This post is written in response to Dr. Preeti Singh’s Life Column prompt for Dancing Elephant Press:

Yana Bostongirl’s post will inspire you to live a life without regrets:

Thank you for reading my post. ❤️❤️ Get email alerts when I publish: https://faimam.medium.com/subscribe. Find me on LinkedIn| Twitter

LIFE LESSONS | WISDOM | CREATIVITY | LIFE | INSPIRATION

It’s Hard to Change Perspectives, So Don’t Fret Upon Them

Life Is Sweet And Sour

We learn so many lessons through our experiences

How Embarking On a Regret-Free Life is Reshaping the Course of My Story

In response to Dancing Elephants prompt 1 of Life Column