It Is Not the World That’s Busy, It Is Your Mind
Your mind can be a beautiful servant or a dangerous master.
After a year of being separated from my family, I was finally at the airport, ready to travel back home for Christmas. It was 5 am, I felt sleepy and tired, but I still could hear different voices in my head telling me:
“Open your laptop and finish the case study for a client! Who cares if it’s 5 am. You need to submit it on Monday, remember?”
“You are officially 2 weeks off. What are you going to do at home?”
“Meeting a friend today in the evening.“
“Did you buy all the presents? There is an open duty-free shop, just in case.”
“Do not listen to music. You’ve heard it many times, read a book instead.”
Another annoying thought flow that never ends.
It was 30 more minutes until the gate’s announcement. I drunk my morning matcha tea and opened a laptop to finish writing a case study for my client.
I complained to myself about being busy and working on my first day off. I asked myself: “Why do I keep myself that busy? For what?”
Later on, I realized it is not my boss who forced me to work on holidays; it is not the raging outside world; it is only my mind. It dictated to me what to do, and I consciously obeyed.
My mind got used to serving my clients more than myself. This is why I felt guilty when I procrastinated. If I genuinely wanted to rest, I would decline some options.
The world has never complained about how busy it is, but I did.
In this article, I want to show you why people often become servants of their minds. You will also find excerpts from the buddha’s teaching and tips from monks on how to calm down your busy mind and start living a more fulfilling life.
The Boundary Between the Mind and the World Is Illusory
According to the buddha’s teaching, the boundary between the mind and the world is illusory. A zen monk and a former professor at Massachusetts university, Haemin Sunim, wrote in his book:
When we look at the outside world, we are looking at only a small part that interests us. The world we see is not the entire universe but a limited one that the mind cares about.
However, to our minds, that a small world is the entire universe. Reality exists because our mind exists.
On average, every person has 6000 thoughts a day that pop up any time, anywhere, keeping your mind busy.
If you can train your mind to choose what to focus on wisely, you will experience the world corresponding to your state of mind.
Haemin Suni teaches how you can calm down your busy mind and learn the art of slow living in his book called “Things you can see when you only slow down.” Here are a few tips from the book worth practicing.
Practice Being In the Present Moment
If memories from your work, awkward situations, life dramas cause you pain — practice keeping your mind in the present moment. Here is why.
When you recall something that stressed you out in the past, you transmit the same anxiety to your present. Your mind cannot rest; it keeps processing the same thoughts again and again, keeping you busy.
According to meditation practices, your awareness can only be in one place at a time. When you practice being in the present moment, your mind automatically becomes quieter.
“When your mind is noisy, the world is as well. And when your mind is peaceful, the world is, too” — Haemin Sunim.
I know it is easy to say, but way more challenging to do. I’ve been living with a busy mind for a while, but let me be honest with you — you cannot do it for a long time. Otherwise, it leads to depression and burnout.
So, if you tend to overthink everything, as I am, it is the right time to make the present moment a part of your life.
How to do it
First, accept that you cannot know everything and stop blaming yourself for it! We all live in a demanding environment, where young people are afraid of making mistakes simply because they might lose their jobs.
The fear of being replaced by someone or being not as good as others creates an endless flow of thoughts that negatively affect self-esteem.
Society will always be establishing higher standards, but it does not mean you have to adhere to them and feel miserable.
Define your working hours and turn off your laptop at the end of the day; do not check emails off work; turn off irrelevant notifications and switch your attention to other things.
Do not let your past bother your present. Instead, spend some time with your beloved ones doing something together, like playing board games, having dinner outside, or discussing life’s essential questions together.
The key point is to enjoy every present moment with people who make you happy before returning to your daily routines.
Love Yourself Despite Your Imperfections
“Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.” — Buddha.
You are eager to help your friends as much as you can; you might want to jump above your head and prove to your boss that you deserve a promotion; you dream that tomorrow will be a better day, but the bright tomorrow has not arrived yet.
While it’s okay to want more in your life, don’t forget to appreciate what you already have.
Self-gratitude is one of the best ways to become happy and experience joy in your life.
How to do it
Write down everything that stresses you out on the list of paper and put it away. From now on, it is on paper, not in your mind. Go through the list one by one, select three items that make you feel uncomfortable, shy, unconfident, perhaps, even unbeautiful.
Think of what you can do to tackle these challenges and write down actionable steps to become a better self.
Once you reach a particular milestone — reward yourself with a small present.
Create a personal list of positive affirmations, admit that you love yourself, and give up an adverse self-criticizing habit.
Affirmations are like religion or political slogans — the more often you repeat them, the more you start to believe in them unconsciously.
Remember, your mind transformation is way more important than the outcome. Even if you fail to tackle imperfections, you will learn to love yourself despite everything. You are worth it.
Focus your thoughts on what you are trying to achieve, not on what is going wrong in your life.
When Your Mind Races Full-Speed, Change Your Focus
When you reach your limits and your brain is no longer capable of stopping, switching the focus might be the right time.
What I mean by this — change the activity. For some people, it might be to take a break from work, change the environment, or an activity that causes intense mental fatigue.
For others, a short 1-hour break could be enough to calm down and reset the mind.
Make sure you listen to yourself, know your limits, and never drastically exceed them. In the short run, — it is uncomfortable. While in the long-run it can lead to:
“frustration, anxiety, fear, depression and can have a seriously negative impact on every part of your life.
The trouble is, the unconscious parts of your brains don’t know the difference between reality and what you’re thinking. So when these thoughts stress you, your body registers that threat as real.”
— according to the psychologists Dr. Timothy Sharp and Dr. Marny Lishman.
Forcing yourself to work beyond your limits with a messy brain will make the whole process longer and less efficient. I’ve been through it many times, it does not work.
I also felt guilty for procrastinating when my brain was forcing me to get back to work. But I needed some rest to recover. Here is what you can do to change your current focus and come down your busy brain.
How to do it
If it's warm out — go for a short walk or exercise for 30 minutes. When you are outside, focus your attention on surrounding nature, people passing by, your workouts. It will help you switch your attention to other activities and get rid of the recent anxiety.
Science says music can either boost your productivity or cause a distraction. In our particular case — let the music to eliminate annoying thoughts. When you are exhausted, listen to your favorite song, sing together with the artist, and let the music change your focus.
If you have a pet(s) at home, it is a great therapy against tension and fatigue. Scientific studies proved that the human body releases oxytocin, responsible for attachment and social-related behaviors when we pet and play with animals.
Activities like coloring books, puzzle games, knitting, board games help your busy mind to escape. Repetitive actions make your brain focus on one thought at a time, leaving memories behind.
Thus, let your inner child play!
Remember:
“To keep the body in good health is a duty… otherwise, you shall not be able to keep your mind strong and clear.” — Buddha.
Final Thoughts
Despite causing insomnia, mental stress, or anxiety, the mind does not seem that bad. It would be pretty hard to live without it.
It comes in handy when you seek to solve problems, communicate with different people, create and release something new to this world, or simply remember the house number you live in.
If used correctly, it is an incredible tool.
Osho Rajneesh, an Indian public speaker, once well-said:
“The mind can be a beautiful servant or a dangerous master.”
It is a powerful quote that should make you think about who is in charge — you or your mind. Eventually, you should win the race and dictate your mind what you want to do and when. You are not the servant of your mind; it should be your servant, instead.
The next time you hear noisy voices and your mind wants to rebel — show who’s the boss.