Isabella Rossellini Is A Kick-Ass Role Model For Women
At 68, the actor, model, writer and farmer is embracing aging
Model, actor, writer, filmmaker, animal behaviorist and farmer Isabella Rossellini, is happy. In an article in The Guardian, Rossellini, 68 — the daughter of of two movie legends, actor Ingrid Bergman and director Roberto Rossellini —clearly is embracing being an older woman.
“This is the great thing about getting old: things that preoccupied you when you were young cease to preoccupy you. I would have loved to have had one Oscar. Well, too bad. I have six sheep, two dogs, two children.”
After two marriages, to director Martin Scorsese and former model Jonathan Wiedemann, a six-year relationship with David Lynch and a two-year engagement to Gary Oldman, what she doesn’t have anymore is a husband or life partner. She’s OK with that, too.
“I don’t think I could do the amount of things I do if I have a husband. Husbands are time-consuming.”
At what has she done? Well, a lot, especially after being dumped by Lancôme because the company considered her, at 43, to be too old. But 20 years later, when the company got a new chief executive officer — a woman — she was asked to come back, which she did.
This is why representation matters. This is why we need people who have power to look like us.
“Women executives have a different sensitivity. Male executives only understood makeup or fashion as an instrument of seduction, because that was addressed to them. They didn’t understand that we like to put on makeup or dress up just because it’s a game; it’s pleasurable. I don’t want to wear beautiful clothes and lipstick because I want to get married. I do it because it makes me feel good. I’m single and I’m doing it for me.”
Women wanting pleasure just for ourselves? Doing things for the sheer joy it brings us? Imagine that! Who does that?
We do. And we’re not going to apologize for it.
But the best part of what happened when Lancôme and Hollywood dumped her because of her age was what Rossellini did at midlife. She got a master’s degree in animal behavior and conservation and a received an honorary PhD; wrote a few books and scripts; directed and produced films; performed in plays; bought and runs a celebrated organic farm; started lecturing and even trained a guide dog for the blind.
In other words, a pretty rich and full life at midlife. Once she didn’t rely on youth and beauty to be her path in life, new and exciting avenues opened up. Because she sought them.
“I’ve seen actress friends so depressed about losing their beauty. People didn’t want them any more. And I felt that, too. Studying saved me from being depressed about losing my beauty. It gave my life so much joy.”
And that is something that happens as we women age — we find joy. Just when the world tells us that we are invisible, that we have nothing to offer, that we are not wanted because we’re “too old,” we hit our stride. We stop worrying about what others think of us and we start living, not just for ourselves, but also for all the things that matter to us. And it’s fucking liberating.
“Ageing brings a lot of happiness. You get fatter and more wrinkles, and that’s not so good, but there is a freedom that comes with it. The freedom is: I better do what I want to do now, because I’ll be dead soon. So this is my last chance. Also, there’s a serenity that comes — I had the career I had, good or bad, I did the best I could, and now I continue pursuing what is interesting to me.”
Rossellini says her work with Lancôme in her 60s is not about selling women on beauty. There’s nothing wrong with beauty, but we are much more than that, and it’s those other things — like doing things that make us feel good — that make us truly beautiful.
“I’m there to represent a different dream. It may be defined as joyfulness; life goes on and there are many chapters.”
Yes, if we are lucky life goes on. How are you writing your chapters?
Hey, I’m working on a book on changing the narrative about middle-aged and older women. Interested? Follow me here, on Medium, and on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram, and let’s do this.
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