Is Your New Year Resolution To Find True Love?

There are overwhelming dating apps now available for all classes of people

I was reading a newspaper article that stated that the statistics of mature people living with HIV & STD in the UK, (where I live) now surpasses those of young adults. And the shocking part is that more and more are getting diagnosed every day.

HIV is the Human Immunodeficiency Virus, is a kind of STD (sexually transmitted disease).

The newspaper stated that within the age range of 35–49 years are the highest with a whopping 42.4% are HIV positive while those within the age range of 50–64 years, 35.8% are HIV positive. This was 2019 real data, and it is the frightening percentage of the 101,500 people living with HIV in the UK. Obviously, I was in shock. I believe this is the age of responsibility and accountability. An age that sex should not be a wild and carefree passion, but rather a purposeful enjoyment of the bond of love that exists between two people. It is definitely an age to take adequate care of who one’s sleeping with. This is beyond me!!!

I decided to carry out a bit of research and write a story about it.

Online Dating Apps

The online dating business is huge. In 2019, the revenue is £265 million from forty-six organisations. That is only in the UK, globally, it runs into billion dollars industry, and is growing by the day, thanks to smartphones where all sorts of dating apps are possible. It is estimated that up to thirty million people are on dating apps.

All classes of people are in, with an organisation like Tinder and ‘Plenty of Fish’ leading the way. And funnily enough, mature daters are not being left out, the age range above, with high HIV & STD infection. And of course, with dating comes that ‘almighty passion — sex’’. That might even be the reason for dating in the first instance.

Genuine Need For Affection

I must agree that not all people on dating apps are there for sex only. There is a genuine need for affection for some people. My cousin, Olaolu (not her real name) is keen to look for love come next year. She is tired of coming back from work to an empty home with no one to discuss her day with. And it is driving her crazy. She laments that there must be a man somewhere waiting for her, to which I jokingly added, ‘’He who created them created two from the beginning…….and it is not good that a man should be alone by himself, I am going to make a helper, suitable for him….’’Genesis 2:18. ‘’Yes you always encourage me to ask in faith’’, she reminded me, to which I added, ‘’according to His Holy Will.

My cousin believes she should marry. I will digress here, marriage IS NOT for everyone. Most women make that mistake. The Bible passage above should not be taken literally that everyone should be in a marriage. So I always remind her that there is nothing we need that is denied us. So Olaolu, don’t just ask, ask according to His Holy Will.

Scams and Catfishing

These are very rampant in all online activities. Scams are where the motive of the app user is to extract money from the others. It was reported that online scams in 2019 cost UK daters £7.9m in the first half of 2019. It is obvious why these individuals fall prey, they are eager, anxious and vulnerable.

Catfishing, on the other hand, is where users set up an exaggerated or fake profile to deceive the other party. The motive can include among others, to extract money, lack of self-esteem and or confidence and to lure the other party into a relationship under false pretence.

So Why Would Mature Adults Have Such High Rate Of STD & HIV?

I was baffled when I read the staggering statistics of people with such a rate of HIV and STD. This is because adults daters throw caution to the wind, or they trust their age and don’t want to accept that the other party could be at risk.

Statistics show that adult daters are likely to sleep together within a month of meeting and likely to become an item within the six months. The relationship moves faster within these age groups, and commitment is quicker. That is where the risk is.

The question now arises of how quickly can you trust the other person you meet, to agreeing to sleep with him or her? Should you ask for an HIV/STD test before you commit to the person. These are pertinent and important questions. You should not take the issue lightly especially if you want to commit to the relationship because you can never know the extent of the past sexual involvement of the other party. So how do you protect yourself? You protect yourself by asking pertinent questions.

Important Questions To Ask A New Partner Before Commitment

Have you ever been tested positive for HIV/STD? — The answer whether positive or negative will know what a follow up should be. In the UK, any blood test automatically test for HIV, but not for other STDs like trichomoniasis, gonorrhoea, and chlamydia. These have to be requested separately. And whether he or she has any sexual relationship since the last test. It is important to get the test done before any sexual activity commence.

Protection against STDs — If we are ready for sexual relation, are we ready to use a protective measure to prevent STDs? Such protective measure can be condom for men or shield for women. The shield acts like a condom for women.

When was the last sexual activity and is the relationship ongoing? — It is important to know whether the person you meet is completely free or you are just one of his/her sexual partners. It is important to know the truth before you commit to a new relationship, and save yourself the pain of STDs, especially if you have been celibate for some time, waiting for the right person.

The Takeaway

As a mature person, you take responsibility for yourself in a sexual relationship you want to engage in. Part of such responsibility is ensuring the other person is free from HIV and other STDs, and avoid transmission.

Love doesn’t need to be perfect, it just needs to be sincere.

Be careful with online dating, look out for scams, catfishing and deceit. Be slow and cautious, and do not assume that the other person is innocent. Age and maturity have nothing to do with falling in love.