Social Chameleon, Double Faced, Resilience
Is Social Chameleon Adaptation Process or Double-faced?
Are you showing your true colors?
The social chameleon phenomenon is a tendency to mimic other behavior that encourages others to feel positivity about us. Actually, nothing wrong with this. The equalizing tone of voice, gesture, and speech style help equalize the frequency between us and the person we are talking to, where the same frequency allows us to be more empathetic and understand each other. Just on a different level, it allows us to be less authentic and be people pleasers. Usually, this happens when we use the “agree to disagree” communication method that personally I didn’t really into.
Everyone wants to be liked and make a good impression about themselves. But, can you still maintain your authenticity, or unconsciously you shift to be a sycophant? In my opinion, a social chameleon is one way to adapt to any kind of unpredictable situation and is quite important to have. Even though they said that social people are prone to being fickle and not opinionated, for me there is only a level and a degree that distinguishes whether we are trying to compromise and accept differences. I tried to group between healthy and unhealthy zones in the social chameleon area.
Healthy Area
A social chameleon may blend seamlessly into any social environment. They are more flexible and easier to adapt to any kind of changeable situation. I believe this skill is very useful and important to have since we can’t choose any condition we should face and the type of character we would meet. In addition, the capability to put ourselves in another person's shoes are abilities that are still difficult to do. We will be selfish creatures, easy to judge, and self-centered if we cannot empathize with others. Such a bad character to keep. Furthermore, people with social chameleon behavior also easier to be okay with diversity. They see a lot of things from different perspectives because usually, he has met many types of people with very diverse backgrounds and characters. Having a broad perspective is also another level of intelligence.
Unhealthy Area
I always believe that something bad is always side by side with good things and vice versa like coins. A social chameleon perhaps potentially supplies bad psychological effects on people. One of the bad things that might happen is we want to be seen as extraordinary people in the right place no matter what the circumstances. Some of them, such as the desire to become an impactful person anytime and anywhere. In fact, we can never please everyone and it is impossible to look good in everyone’s eyes. This phenomenon potentially influences the psychological need to always be the trend center, experiencing an identity crisis, fickle, and inconsistent with something.
How to Have Social Chameleon Skill but Still be Authentic at the Same Time
I went through a lot to get to know myself. The roller coaster of emotions and the steep journey is the price I have to pay but discovering myself is always worth it. Although I’m still learning about this, I think there’s no harm in sharing some things that might help:
Knowing These Areas
Get to know yourself. It’s a cliche but it’s basic. At least recognize the basic needs in yourself because knowing them in their entirety takes a long time. Ask basic questions like what you like, what you don’t like, what you can tolerate, and what you don’t.
Spend Your Time Doing This
However, imitating the behavior of others is a natural skill for every human being to adapt. Getting along with a group of people for a long time or being in a certain environment slowly shapes you. And your character is formed without you knowing it, without you being able to control it. So do the following things on a regular basis so you don’t lose your true self.
- Spending time alone
No matter how your task obligates you to socialize with others, you should always find the time to spend by yourself only. This must be a habit because you need time to listen to your inner voice without any intervention from others.
2. Changes the environment
As I mentioned above, the culture and environment slowly shape your character. Sometimes, This is one of the reasons why I can’t stay more than 1 year in a certain company. Because there are times when I feel I go with the flow and slowly it starts to shape me which I don’t want to happen. But you don’t need to do the same. You can look for additional activities outside of work, make new friends that really suit your character, etc. Me, personally, now I also feel tired of being involved in a deep emotional connection with other people, especially those I just met. For me, keeping my distance and not being too attached helps to give me boundaries to stay who I am.
3. Travel
For me traveling the world is a dream that is more worth working on than having a lot of property assets in my hometown. Experience is more expensive than any asset and may not always be available all the time. There will be times when our physique is not as strong as it used to be, there are more people we need to take care of, there are many other priorities that suddenly appear. While there is time to see the world, just go for it, because maybe next time that opportunity will not arise again. The more you see the other side of the world, the more you meet different groups of people, the greater your ability to compromise. Especially for things that do not interfere and have a direct effect on our personal lives.
The Wall You will Build
The time to choose the type of boundaries you will build around you. At the end, of the day we would realize nobody really fits our energy and frequencies and that’s our challenge to get along with others. Learn to distinguish which ones you should respect and which ones you need to give advice. Learn to differentiate between what you can compromise on and what you have to set boundaries for. Respect the people around you but don’t let your happiness revolve around them. Because the function of your presence is a gift for yourself.
Bottom Line
I believe We can be chameleon-like when the situation demands, but at the same time remain true to ourselves. Anyway, I found one reference here if you want to try to test how social chameleon are you. If you have other perspectives or references I would be happy if you add them below.
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