Is Medium My New Drug Pusher?
Watching where I’m getting my new serotonin fix
Shortly before joining Medium, I chose to leave Facebook and Instagram. Mostly, I was bored with the discussion and I was kicking myself for the hours of my life I was wasting there. But I was also aware of how I was secretly (hiding the fact from myself) thrilled or disappointed by the profusion or lack of likes and comments.
A friend said that Medium was an interesting place for writers to interact with each other. She said that that it was super friendly and interesting. So, since I was already a writer (and I was looking for people to find my bread-and-butter business of online courses, etc), I happily hopped on.
Writing for Claps
As I began writing, I realized that I could write all day. I had thoughts about a million topics that I could share. I was finding interesting publications filled with fascinating people. We were sharing comments and deep things with each other it was awesome.
But what was I really watching for? Claps.
Once I realized that Medium doesn’t actually pay for claps but reading time, this should have backed off my attention to the claps. But it didn’t. I am still thrilled when many people clap for my article.
In the first couple weeks (I’m only in my fourth week of seriously writing here), I really started wondering if this was healthy. Had I just found a new drug that would distract me from what I was supposed to be doing?
I was checking into Medium like I used to do with Facebook… I’ll just check and see if anything has happened… which meant “Has anyone clapped? Has anyone commented?” At which point, I either get the familiar high or low that we know so well.
Then, beyond claps, we add money to the mix and we can check our Medium Partner Program stats. This was like adding a slot machine to the mix. Did I get lucky? Did something go viral? Are people reading but not clapping? Is it making me money?
In the beginning, I was so fascinated by what was happening there (even though it was all just cents), I would check it multiple times a day. This is when I started getting a sniff that there might be a problem here.
Mixing Business with Pleasure
I write for joy and I also write for my work, so as in all parts of our lives where our passions also pay the rent, how our art is received by the public is a messy affair. Yes, I want to just write for the joy of it. But if no one is reading or liking it, I also have to take notice of this too.
Sometimes writing in a vacuum is fine. Well, my ego doesn’t like it but my soul knows that it’s good because, through the process of writing the article, I realized something important in my own life. This has been the same whether I was writing books, creating videos for online courses, or speaking to groups. Often, there are things that come out of my mouth or out of my pen that I’ve never considered before… and it was just what I needed to hear.
My writing is linked to paying rent for sure… but there is more to it as well. It is also a calling. There is something within me that must write. I must share my stories, experiences, and nuggets of wisdom that have really helped me in my life. It is like having a conversation with others who are interested in the same things. We can engage together and grow and learn. It’s wonderful.
So, in one way, whether there are claps or responses is truly an indicator of whether you are actually talking in a group or you are just talking to yourself. This is always interesting to take note of. I don’t know exactly what it means. But it’s interesting.
I have also found that when I write from my heart, I get many more claps. It’s like I’ve just given a performance where my heart came through and it moved the audience to their feet. I have certainly felt that reading other people’s works here causing me to sit and tap that clap symbol 50 times happily (even though it honestly feels weird).
How Much Do I Want to Care About Claps?
As someone who writes as part of her living, whether people clap and engage does matter. Initially, my intention was to expand my business of teaching and sharing through online courses and my books. This is the truth. So, do claps and responses matter? To my business-side, yes, for sure. I have to be sure that I’m spending my time in the right arena.
However, there is also an important process of releasing the drug addiction part of this clap-phenomena and exploring the true creativity and community part of the Medium world.
The greatest surprise about writing here is the amazing community. As much as we may feel like we have friends on social media even though we’ve never met, it feels different here. Maybe it’s because we are actually creating from our hearts and sharing something different. Maybe we are truly an interesting bunch of people loving meeting other people who also have that creative fire inside. I don’t know. But I am absolutely amazed at the wonderful conversations we have within comments and responses here. It is really heart-warming.
There is also the sheer joy of having a place to just sit down with a blank screen and instantly create something. There is something quite magical about it and it becomes my true artist’s joy of creation.
At this point, it seems that there are four ways that I write for Medium:
- I write for me. I sit with a cup of coffee and just write about whatever is stirring me this morning. These, I normally just publish on my own page and happily get on with my day.
- I write for heart-felt publications that have an amazing community of writers who are interested in things I’m interested in. Perhaps it is spirituality, the divine feminine, gentleness, authenticity, etc. When I write for these folks, it feels like I’m just contributing to a conversation. We are all curious and searching and enjoying the exploration of a topic… and I’m more than happy to chime in.
- I write erotica and essays of a more sexual nature under the profile Katrina Lynn. This is an incredible exploration of sharing tantric intimacy through poems and stories in a way that I have never done publicly. It is busting through all kinds of wonderful inner walls that I didn’t even know I was hiding behind… plus there is a wonderful community there too!
- I attempt to write for the big publications. This is my business side coming out. To write for them is a marketing strategy for sure. On the surface, it’s not as heartfelt and warm and fuzzy. But I am still working on this one. And yes, the payment for that one would initially be claps, follows, and reads.
So how’s my addiction going?
It’s going well. I am definitely needing to discipline myself from “just opening the app” to “see what’s going on” which is code for “how many people clapped or responded?”.
I am really enjoying the process of writing first-person stories from my heart and sharing them with others. And I am truly enjoying that creative process buzz that happens when you’re in the zone and time has disappeared.
Am I still watching claps? Yes. Am I clapping for others? Yes. But I’m aware of this new addiction. I’m aware of many of the ins and outs of it and I’m aware that when I focus too much on the public response, I lose all of the joy for myself.
That’s the most important thing for me to realize.
Thank you Marcus for your poem that prompted this article that I've been pondering for a while now. 😊
✨ For more about my books and online courses, please visit katrinabos.ca. ✨