Is it Depression Again?

I’m Starting to Sense a Pattern Here

I’ve recently had some things going on that have left me feeling a bit out of sorts. I can pin a couple of things down as to the cause of my recent emotional upset. I wrote about a writer’s block that I was trying to work free from, and I think I have that problem taken care of.

That day of self-care really worked wonders for me and a new sunrise later the day just has a totally different look to it. It has been raining for the past week straight though, and it rarely does this, so I am really not used to all the gloomy darkness throughout the day and then sunset earlier than usual as well.

This has left me feeling pretty glum and I really started to think about last year around this time. Last year I had a depression that wouldn’t settle until I got on a higher dose of anti-depressants. Looking back, I couldn’t specifically remember if it was rainy and dark for an extended period of time, but it is quite common in winter for us to get more rain than at any other point during the year.

I love the idea of rain. The washing and giving all of life a drink is very important. Only problem is there are a couple of different things going on for me when it rains. My mood darkens and I also have major aches and pains from ankylosing spondylitis that get worse whenever there is high humidity or rain.

This year I noticed a slight pattern that I think I ignored in the past. Now it is all pretty evident. This year I am not letting it overtake me. I am trying to have a more positive outlook on this small stretch of weather without seeing the sun. I know that it will eventually pass.

I need to keep in mind that we are still in cooler temperatures. The summer is scorching hot and at times can seem unbearable even though there is endless sunshine. I’ve got to be careful what I wish for and really just need to take my time rolling through all the seasons.

I am not going to run to my doctor and get on more anti-depressants. There has got to be a limit. I need to work through these difficult stretches. Last year I stayed away from Medium for almost a full two months during this part of the year. I am not going to do that this year because I enjoy Medium too much.

Taking a full day for self-care is easy to overcome on Medium a full month or two is tough. It makes me feel good to write so even with a mild depression it just makes sense for me to press on. I’ve been taking baths for the pain in my legs and hips, and this has really helped.

I talked with a nutritionist, and she instructed me that one of the best things that I could be doing for my mood is getting sunlight into my eyes even if it is overcast it doesn’t matter. Today I just sat on one of the benches at my apartment complex and watched the clouds. Even though there was no visible sun I was still absorbing some rays.

Today I even got up later than I have been. It felt good to sleep in. Maybe I should take a day every so often and do this for a full recharge. My body needs some extra TLC considering what it goes through on a daily basis.

As I write this story, we are experiencing more light rain and I think it is going to end in a couple of days. My mood is much better today so I am looking for more happiness and positive outlook in the next days to follow.

I have a free music event that I have planned for tomorrow so I have something to look forward to so this should keep my mood in check hopefully for another day in a row.

One thing that I didn’t mention yet in this story is that I recently stopped drinking coffee. I tapered down to half a cup and was on that for awhile and a few days ago I stopped having any at all. I think not having the jumpstart in the morning has been a bit of an adjustment for me so far.

I have been more tired after awaking and have required a nap after only being up for about four hours. This quite possibly could have caused some issues with my mood although I didn’t really have the nasty headache that you usually get from withdrawal. This has been good for me.

This long-term addiction has been pretty easy for me to get over. I think drinking lots of water has been pretty helpful in my quest. My depression could very well be something that comes up seasonally every year depending on several factors. I think having good coping skills for the most part will help me to be able to combat these mood issues.

I think a big difference for me this year is that I am eating a lot better and spending more time outdoors. These two things can really change how you feel overall in a lot of ways. I am still always striving for ways that I can keep these bouts of depression from coming up in the first place. If I can master this, my life could definitely change for the better.