INTERVIEW | CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE | FICTION
Interrogating ‘The Protagonist’
The Protagonist from the ‘You Are Dead‘ Choose Your Own Adventure story unexpectedly finds themself in police custody
You find yourself in a dark room, looking at a giant mirror that covers almost all of the opposite wall. Your hands are shackled to a heavy metal desk, and you have no idea how you got here.
“Damn,” you curse, “how did I end up in an interrogation room?”
Then, you remember fighting for your life and falling into a ravine. Before you can remember anything else, a sharp female voice interrupts your thoughts.
“An excellent question.”
You turn your head to the right and see a woman in her thirties, dressed in a trouser suit. She carries a sidearm in a holster under her left arm. Although her blazer partly covers it, she wants you to know it is there.
Before you can speak, she continues talking:
“I am Detective Benignus. And that...”
She points in the direction to your left.
The man standing there wears a tailored suit. Nobody the size of that brute can buy clothes off the shelf. His big nose is crooked, probably broken a dozen times, and his pockmarks and scars would make Freddy Krueger jealous. But the sight and sound of the man repeatedly cracking the knuckles of his massive hands draws you in the most right now.
“…is Detective Malus.”
You gulp.
“Why am I here?”
Detective Malus jumps forward and slams his enormous fists on the table. It happens so fast that you jolt backwards and squeal.
“We ask the questions, scumbag!” Malus shouts, saliva flying into your face.
Just as the brute lifts his fist, Benignus intervenes.
“Please, please, Detective,” she says calmly. “We are just questioning the suspect.”
“Suspect?! What am I charged with?”
You realise your mistake when Malus grabs the back of your head and slams your face onto the table. “I said we ask the questions!”
“Malus! Back off.”
You feel the brute’s grip easing. He hesitates for another two or three seconds before he releases you. When you sit up again, Benignus offers you a napkin. You realise something warm is running down your right eyebrow and face.
“My colleague gets agitated when dealing with suspected terrorists and murderers.”
“Murderers?! Terrorists?!”
You cringe when Malus steps forward and tries to grab you again, but you dodge just in time.
“Malus!”
Grumpily, the colossal man retreats to his corner of the interrogation room, glaring at you.
“Is it right,” Benignus says, “that you were involved in a firefight in the mansion of Lord Diabolus?”
“Involved?!” you shout. “That monster wanted to kill me! I ran away from him. You should have seen his basement, a horrible butcher shop!”
“You are trying to tell me that our city’s greatest philanthropist is a murderer?”
“I … I … I don’t understand.”
“You see, we have the same problem,” the female detective says. “We have many questions, starting with who you are. No ID. No name. We are not even sure what gender you are.”
“They … they call me The Protagonist, but I-I am usually referred to as ‘You’,” you try to explain. “I think I take on whatever gender my reader prefers. I’m a very open-minded fictional character.”
“Isn’t that a sweet little fairytale,” Malus mocks you.
Benignus massages her right temple and looks at you intensely.
“He is either delusional, or a very crafty criminal.”
“The nutcase tries to tell us they don’t have a name?” Malus shouts. “Bulls**t!”
“Please! I am trapped in this sick storyline. It is called ‘You Are Dead’. Those twisted writers are making up horrible ways for me to die! I need help!”
“As far as excuses go,” Malus barks, “this is ridiculous s**t!”
“It is true! One of them, his name is Bradan, sent me to Crime Alley, where the murderer of the Waynes killed me.”
Malus and Benignus start laughing.
“And that,” the male detective holds his colossal chest, trying to breathe, “is the funniest excuse I ever heard. Best we directly admit this scumbag!”
“Yeah,” Benignus adds, snickering, “straight into Arkham Asylum.”
Again, the two cops laugh, Malus so hard he has to lean forward to catch his breath.
“Hahaha! Gimme…haha…gimme a break…please!”
“It is true! Death himself hunts me. He is planning those death traps….”
“Death plans death traps…?” Malus snickers.
“A writer called Jonathon had me fight Death with my bare hands, and because of that guy JF, he challenged me to a deadly card game!”
Benignus glares at you suspiciously. “Are you on drugs?”
“Believe me! That weirdo Jay sent assassins after me in a fantasy world!”
“Sure,” Benignus smiles comfortingly, “of course we believe you.”
Malus marches toward you, his fists clenched. “More bulls**t! Let’s beat the truth out of him!”
“I-I want a lawyer!” you scream. “I have the right to an attorney.”
“Well...” Benignus looks at you and pauses. She has that malicious grin on her face.
“Oh, no…” you stammer, “you aren’t real cops. You are in league with the Illuminati...”
Malus and Benignus exchange glances and then focus on you again. Their expressions are angry and determined.
“…the… the Medium Illuminati!” you manage to finish.
Malus cracks his knuckles again.
“This one seems to know stuff. What should we do?”
Benignus looks at you and draws her gun.
“Complete the cycle.”
This story is linked to You Are Dead, a Choose Your Own Adventure Story — Drabble Edition started by Bradan Writes Stories. Find out how to contribute to the story here. You can add a chapter with an alternative path, or a whole new story of your own if you like! Come join us at Choose Your Own Adventure–Collaboration to contribute or see other examples.
I wrote this story in response to the “Interview with a Character” challenge, started by Jonathon Sawyer, based on an idea by Bradan Writes Stories.
💯 Story Challenge (71/100)
You can help “The Protagonist” to break through this vicious circle by reading my fictional tales, subscribing to my email list, joining Medium with my referral link, or visiting my Ko-fi.
