Summary

Instead of fixating on long-term sobriety, the author suggests thinking in streaks and focusing on daily progress.

Abstract

The author, who identifies as a "typical problem drinker," shares their experience of quitting alcohol and the idea of thinking in streaks instead of fixating on long-term sobriety. They believe that allowing oneself grace when starting to quit alcohol can be beneficial in the long run. The author also discusses the dangers of Dry January and how some people use it as an excuse to continue drinking heavily the rest of the year. They also touch on the despair people feel when they slip up after a lengthy period of sobriety, and how it can be reframed to support sobriety goals.

Opinions

The author believes that quitting drinking forever is overwhelming, but quitting drinking for today is very doable.
The author thinks that starting a new streak is simply a fresh challenge, a new test, and not something to mourn and use as an excuse to just give up.
The author suggests that if you can find peace in your process, the end goal will take care of itself.
The author thinks that the level of despair people feel from people on social media who’ve had a slip-up after a lengthy period of sobriety is absolutely crushing.
The author believes that if you don’t focus on the process (and dare I say it, on some level enjoy the process), you may never reach the end goal.
The author thinks that any massive victory in life is the result of compounding little wins every day.
The author thinks that the improvements day-to-day will be imperceptible, but the long-term results are gigantic.

Instead of fixating on long-term sobriety, try thinking in streaks

If you’re a typical problem drinker who wants to quit alcohol, I have an idea that I think might be helpful in your quest for sobriety.

When I say typical problem drinker, I’m referring to people like myself.

People without a dangerous physical dependence who carry on a “normal”, even successful life, but who also know that daily drinking is slowly killing them and preventing them from reaching their potential.

This is as opposed to a full-blown alcoholic with a long history of destructive behaviour and/or who may have medical reasons never to take a sip.

For many people, often the kinds of people who wind up in 12-step programs, this is the only option.

They may have truly hit rock bottom, have nowhere to go but up, and nothing else has worked in the past.

For those people, seeing a doctor before any quitting attempts is of paramount importance.

Different people, different approaches

When trying to quit alcohol as your run-of-the-mill problem drinker, however, I don’t know that there’s a one-size-fits-all approach.

One way I never lost my spirit for quitting drinking despite so many setbacks between initially deciding to stop in 2019 and my current four-plus month run (with absolutely zero desire to return to daily drinking) is that I always knew I could get on a good streak.

Being inspired by those streaks allowed me to reduce my alcohol intake by about 60%-70% or so initially (I kept track in an app I have).

Although my goal was ultimately to get to zero intake, a reduction on that scale was still impressive in my books.

Now, the danger in “knowing” you can always get on a good streak is that you’ll use it as an excuse to continue drinking. I touched on this recently in my piece discussing the dangers of Dry January.

Some people feel that if they can “prove” to themselves that they can go a whole month without drinking, then they don’t really have a problem and can continue drinking heavily the rest of the year.

But I do think that, by allowing yourself some grace when you’re just getting started trying to quit alcohol, you’ll probably be better off in the long run.

Crushing despair

I recently started a Twitter account to get the word out about my quit drinking writing, and one thing that stands out to me in the recovery community is how hard people are on themselves.

Without question, it’s no fun disappointing yourself. If you’ve set a goal to quit drinking and you slip up, you’re never going to feel great about it.

But the level of despair I see from people on social media who’ve had a slip-up after a lengthy period of sobriety is absolutely crushing.

Again, there are scales of alcoholism.

If you’ve completely blown up your life, lost everything, and then slip back into drinking, I can understand reaching that level of despair.

But I also think there’s a healthy way to reframe those mistakes to ultimately support your sobriety goals.

Make a chain (Photo by Mike Alonzo on Unsplash, modified by the author)

A pragmatic approach

I think I’m perhaps more pragmatic (too pragmatic?) about the whole thing.

I don’t consider not drinking to be part of my identity, I look at it more as a puzzle that I’m trying to put together over time.

I try to keep emotion out of it to the extent that I can.

Certainly, when I would slip up in the past, I was never happy about it. But I also knew there was information I could take from those mistakes, record them, learn from them, and apply them moving forward.

I think this is an effective way of trying to reach any goal.

If you don’t focus on the process (and dare I say it, on some level enjoy the process), you may never reach the end goal.

Any massive victory in life — I’ve written about this before in a piece about my favourite self-help book — is the result of compounding little wins every day.

The improvements day-to-day will be imperceptible, but the long-term results are gigantic.

Quitting drinking forever is overwhelming. Quitting drinking for today is very doable.

This is where I believe thinking in streaks can be more effective than fixating on how long you’ve been sober for.

I once read an article about the co-creator of the best TV sitcom of all time, Jerry Seinfeld, and how he motivates himself to write something every single day.

He gets a big calendar and a black marker, and every day he puts a big ‘X’ if he managed to write that day. After that, his mantra is, “don’t break the chain.”

A long streak is something to be proud of, even if it’s over.

And it’s something you can get back to trying to beat if you slip up, not something to mourn and use as an excuse to just give up.

I don’t have any desire to drink at the moment, but I don’t want to have to freak out if I do. Getting too down is a recipe for slipping back into old ways permanently.

Starting a new streak is simply a fresh challenge, a new test.

Put an ‘X’ on the calendar for today, and then don’t break the chain.

If you can find peace in your process, I really believe the end goal will take care of itself.

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