we made ten times as much on medium last year as the year before

[insert snappy click baity title here, i.e. MAKING MEDIUM MOOLAH]

BLAH BLAH BLAH SATIRE :

At $1.87, this was our biggest single-income post on medium in the last 30 days.

In 2021, we made $17.

Last year, we made a whooping $186.99.

Rounding that up to $187. Minus $5 a month membership. $55. (We skipped the month of September.)

= $132 ÷ 11 = $13.20 monthly. $3.10 a week. And we have to pay taxes on this. It’s a good thing we share one account or our earnings would be negative.

As you might have guessed, I have not quit my day job, delivering flowers, but I’ve been stuck in an elevator since Tuesday, February 7. Don’t these state employees ever work? — Queen Ann

And I’m still cleaning houses — ann jams (no ‘e’)

I had to quit my day job (burying politicians in the yard) because the ground has been frozen for two months. — Carrie Ann

How many times have you had to replace the wash machine and dryer in this house? — Gemma Lee

No trabajando. No mas. Tengo 97 años. — Abuelita

we’ve done more than our share of posts — lucyfurr and ziggybear

i still like writing for medium. Grandma Smillew is here. she might move in with us. — anacita

i’m tired of writing porn — angie

i’m time traveling in india, 2024. i donnae have thyme and spice for this — Stephanie

my patience (¿patients?) is my super power — Yadi.

we are all patients of yadi’s — 😁and miss her 😭 — the gang

I’ll go back to work as soon as things are ship-shape at home. — Madam Georgia, Georgia’s Elite, Moundhouse, Nevada

jajajajajaja — like that’s ever going to happen — Katie

p.s. we kicked sue happy out. she’s not pulling her weight.

u.s.p.s.u.p.s. inspired by Carlo Zeno