Innocence Before Experience
Life in poetry
Inside my home, not safe by no means Innocence of yesterday flew by it seems. No one is here from out side No one visits nor tries. The door is shut and windows curtains remain Open to the outside, to let in the sun’s reign. While the branches remain bare The winter grip still holds strong.
Inside my home, my tears try to drop Onto my cheeks amid my desires for them to stop. Frustration over silly things, like bossiness and control Conjure up my resentments of long held fears untold. I dare not even mention, nor even speak the sound Of all the angry tale-tell signs of verbal abusiveness surround. In moments such as these, where hostage homers we become I long more than ever, to open the door and run.
Instead I was the dishes, bleach, soap, and hot water to touch Almost scorching the fingers reddened much. Cleaning every counter, every nook and handle too, This mother that I am circling around me and you. I bring each family member water, medicines, and heat wishing them speedy healing from the germs the planet reeks.
My heart is heavy from the innocence I miss Where who cares about the dirty glasses Or the containers of bleach-like bliss. All I long for is continuity Of life the way things were. I want to work and teach the lessons beyond the Internet’s favor. For now I hold on steady, the FFT’s strangled grip And the experience I am gaining, I’ll never let go, nor slip.
~Just a thought by Pamela
FFT stands has turned into: First Freaking Time. Brené Brown used a more robust word in her podcast today, her very first podcast amid the craziness of the world. I listened to the message and so this poem was born.
Writer’s prompt by Dead Poet’s Live and David S.
About Me: Pamela J. Nikodem, MS immersed herself in studies surrounding relationships, domestic violence, and trauma. Her focus is to guide men into a place of peaceful assertiveness. She holds three jobs: An Intern at Roger’s Behavioral Health focused on Addiction and Mental Health; Owner of Advanced Behavioral Changes, LLC seeking to reduce violence in the community, and teaches violin at Jim’s Music Center in Green Bay, WI. In her spare time, she writes poetry and self-help articles. ©2020
