Infinite Shades of Me

Discovering the ‘I’ in Every Moment

‘Tell me about yourself,’ I throw a timeless question your way, and you find yourself momentarily tongue-tied. As someone astute, you discern that this isn’t typical small talk or a casual icebreaker. You might wonder if it goes beyond a mere exchange of pleasantries. Could it be a philosophical exploration? Perhaps, you think I’m after something deeper — a pursuit of an existential ‘who am I’ quandary, a quest to delve deep and try to transcend the labels and roles we adorn in our daily lives.

You’re tempted to respond with a classic retort, ‘I’m a spiritual being.’ Alternatively, you might opt for a deeper touch, saying, ‘I am that I am’ thinking that there might be something beyond the surface waiting to be explored.

Now, here’s the intriguing part: this question isn’t seeking a run-of-the-mill answer. We all juggle various roles — a teacher, wife, mom, homemaker, politician, and writer — yet, encapsulating the essence of who you are feels akin to threading a needle.

I reformulate my inquiry; ‘you are all of that and none of that, and now ‘tell me about yourself’?

This question is more of a ‘take-home’ pondering, a lingering contemplation to carry with you beyond the immediate moment and allowing the richness of its meaning to unfold gradually over time.

It requires time to simmer within you, allowing its essence to infuse your reflections, giving it the time it needs to unfold and reveal the layers of understanding that may emerge. It’s a contemplation meant to marinate in your thoughts, and gradually explore its nuances and complexities over time.

So when you’re feeling unsure, a bit down, or lost in the inner chaos, grab a cup of coffee and throw back the question, ‘Tell me about yourself.’ The conversation that unfolds with you might just be the answer you need.

In the world to come no one will ask me why I was not Moses, I shall be asked why I was not Zusis.

Hasidic Rabbi Zusis.

My journaling journey began as I sat for hours with a notebook and pencil, unsure of where to start. I had read that journaling helps, but I wasn’t certain about how it could. I felt the pressure to write something meaningful, something that had coherence. I didn’t write anything for weeks, but I made it a daily practice to sit down with my journal and a pencil.

A few weeks later, the first query on the page I penned was:

“Tell me about yourself.”

Then I spent weeks doodling, confronting my genuine feelings and thoughts. In those moments of quiet stillness and contemplation, holding a pencil, I listened to my own heart. I embraced pauses, I reflected, questioned, and sought the essence of myself.

Gradually, I started writing without censorship, routinely documenting thoughts and events to create a record that offered invaluable insights into my life. Over time, patterns emerged, providing a clearer picture of my feelings. The process helped me initiate change, redirecting the course of my actions to align with my aspirations and values.

Through my words, I uncover insights and emotions that have been waiting to surface. The act of writing became a tool for understanding the intricacies of my being.

Know thyself” is a philosophical maxim, inscribed upon the Temple of Apollo in Delphi.

Knowing oneself is an expedition that transcends the boundaries of time, inviting us to embark on a profound quest for self-knowing. On this journey one navigates the maze of personal experiences and introspection, peeling back the layers of identity to reveal the true essence within.

This is not a mere intellectual exercise; it requires a genuine willingness to confront both the light and shadow aspects of one’s being, the unfiltered truth that resides at the heart of our individuality. We unravel our emotions, motivations, and beliefs, acknowledging our vulnerabilities and strengths alike. It’s a continuous exploration that deepens our understanding of who we are.

So, pick up a journal and start writing. Embrace the blank page, and let your thoughts flow freely. Even gibberish will work. Allow the ink to capture the essence of your thoughts, and reflections. Write without judgment or expectation.

Amid seemingly random words, you might discover a profound connection with yourself. You may be surprised by the wisdom and self-awareness that emerge as you meet yourself in the lines and spaces of your journal.

This act of self-expression will become a mirror helping you to uncover your thoughts and emotions and find the hidden treasures in the tangled threads of your mind.

Infinite Shades of Me

I am the laughter that bubbles up during those cherished evenings with friends.

I am the bittersweet pang of sadness that settles in when I gaze upon my empty nest.

I am the singing that escapes my lips when I immerse myself in songs from my yesteryears.

I am the simmering anger that rises when others take me for granted.

I am the self-reflection that envelops during quiet moments.

I am the introspection when the quiet sets in

I am the subtle irritation that surfaces when things don’t go according to my plans.

I am the frustration that surfaces when plans fail

I am the curiosity in the face of the unknown.

I am the insatiable desire that explores.

I am the empathy that connects with others.

I am the gratitude that flows when I recount my blessings.

I am the flickering flame of inspiration that waxes and wanes

I am joy and sorrow and everything in between.

I am all of these and none of these in every moment.

I am not a stagnant noun; I am a dynamic verb, in perpetual motion.