In Search of a Good Man Who Will Not Abandon His Children Should Times Get Tough

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life, making sure you never get fat. In fact, this is such an important goal for her that she will do whatever it takes to prevent you from gaining weight. At times this may come across as overly insistent but she will only be doing it because she loves you (and doesn’t want any witches to think you might make for good eating).</p><p id="aa93">While my sister is very security conscious and would require her home to have a state of the art alarm, she is also open and welcoming to anyone who may be in need, especially children. She feels that there are too many evil people in the world who want to harm others and therefore goes out of her way to counter this by being positive and supportive with everyone she meets. She is a source of light and a beacon of hope to all her know her.</p><p id="7d2d">As we grew up very poor, my sister is able to stick to a strict budget even under the hardest of circumstances. She is extremely creative and would be able to come up with satisfying menus for meals as well as find unique ways to obtain any needed household items and clothing for her family on a limited income, if necessary.</p><p id="6617">At the same time, our traumatic encounters resolved in a way that left us quite wealthy and she appreciates the finer things in life. She would be an asset for a man of means and would be able to talk intelligently on a number of subjects with the wives of his business associates. Our reversal of fortune also means she would marry with a sizable dowry, (though I would insist on there being a prenup to protect her interests.)</p><p id="0f4c">One thing is certain, my sister will always keep her children safe and teach them to never talk to strangers even if the person offers something delicious to eat. She will teach them how to tell the difference between kind old ladies and evil witches, to stay away from fire and to never, ever turn on the oven when alone (or when not alone, for that matter). She will also teach them how to survive if they are ever lost in the wilderness, problem solving strategies for difficult situations that don’t involve being disobedient to their parents and how to avoid being made into a meal for a witch.</p><p id="c73b">Above all, my sister has the best heart you

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will ever find and any man would be lucky to have her as his wife and the mother of his children. If you think you might be my sisters soulmate, and would be interested in meeting her, please respond directly to me at Mailbox 28715. The name on the account is Hansel.</p><p id="089a"><i>Thanks to Kyrie Gray for the inspiration for this piece based on the humorous dating ads she wrote for different fictional characters.</i></p><figure id="d243"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*Ye4K2tIYhOrzkY3B9KI9Sw.png"><figcaption></figcaption></figure><p id="2ba4"><b>If you enjoyed reading this story, you might also enjoy these:</b></p><div id="a979" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/a-buggy-butt-bumping-rant-get-outta-my-space-b73c877b9174"> <div> <div> <h2>A Buggy Butt Bumping Rant — Get Outta My Space!</h2> <div><h3>Someone ought to teach you some manners before you get hurt.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*40a6vkNbH7E59xhpuvzk5Q.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="d5f8" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/on-the-sneaky-nature-of-household-wildlife-longing-to-be-free-6e4c45a49092"> <div> <div> <h2>On the Sneaky Nature of Household Wildlife Longing to Be Free</h2> <div><h3>The slippery nature of everyday household objects can be frustrating at best and infuriating at worst.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*EdR4O9qmEuoB5gpw9G2pQA.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><p id="4bb6"><b>You can find links to my other work on Medium and follow me <a href="https://medium.com/@nataliefrank">here.</a> Thanks for reading and for supporting <a href="https://medium.com/mental-gecko">Mental Gecko</a>!</b></p></article></body>

Don’t get weirded out, but I am looking for a match for my sister.

Greetings to all the wonderful men out there who know how to treat a woman right.

This ad may come across as being a bit unusual, as I am looking for someone who would be a deserving mate for my amazing sister. We come from a fairly abusive background and while I have managed to marry and have a family, my sister has had a harder time getting past what happened to us. But she is an incredibly special person, and I know she would make a wonderful wife and mother or step mother.

First, I’ll get the particulars out of the way. As you can see from her picture, she is quite beautiful, with blond hair and blue eyes. She is 5’6” with an athletic build, which she maintains with daily visits to the gym. She is 28 years old and has never been married, but this is due to her shy nature and not to problems with relationships or commitment.

My sister has some dietary issues that you will have to abide by. She is a staunch vegetarian and cannot tolerate any meat in the house due to a childhood incident with a cannibal witch. She is also unable to cook due to a related trauma involving the witch’s demise.

However, she makes the most amazing cold dishes, salads, chilled soups, and cheese and fruit plates fit for a king. Although she also won’t allow sweets in the house, again related to what she went through in childhood, you will definitely never go hungry.

My sister is passionate about maintaining a healthy lifestyle and will enjoy sharing this passion with the man in her life, making sure you never get fat. In fact, this is such an important goal for her that she will do whatever it takes to prevent you from gaining weight. At times this may come across as overly insistent but she will only be doing it because she loves you (and doesn’t want any witches to think you might make for good eating).

While my sister is very security conscious and would require her home to have a state of the art alarm, she is also open and welcoming to anyone who may be in need, especially children. She feels that there are too many evil people in the world who want to harm others and therefore goes out of her way to counter this by being positive and supportive with everyone she meets. She is a source of light and a beacon of hope to all her know her.

As we grew up very poor, my sister is able to stick to a strict budget even under the hardest of circumstances. She is extremely creative and would be able to come up with satisfying menus for meals as well as find unique ways to obtain any needed household items and clothing for her family on a limited income, if necessary.

At the same time, our traumatic encounters resolved in a way that left us quite wealthy and she appreciates the finer things in life. She would be an asset for a man of means and would be able to talk intelligently on a number of subjects with the wives of his business associates. Our reversal of fortune also means she would marry with a sizable dowry, (though I would insist on there being a prenup to protect her interests.)

One thing is certain, my sister will always keep her children safe and teach them to never talk to strangers even if the person offers something delicious to eat. She will teach them how to tell the difference between kind old ladies and evil witches, to stay away from fire and to never, ever turn on the oven when alone (or when not alone, for that matter). She will also teach them how to survive if they are ever lost in the wilderness, problem solving strategies for difficult situations that don’t involve being disobedient to their parents and how to avoid being made into a meal for a witch.

Above all, my sister has the best heart you will ever find and any man would be lucky to have her as his wife and the mother of his children. If you think you might be my sisters soulmate, and would be interested in meeting her, please respond directly to me at Mailbox 28715. The name on the account is Hansel.

Thanks to Kyrie Gray for the inspiration for this piece based on the humorous dating ads she wrote for different fictional characters.

If you enjoyed reading this story, you might also enjoy these:

You can find links to my other work on Medium and follow me here. Thanks for reading and for supporting Mental Gecko!