Improve Your Life with These Lessons From Netflix’s Dark

It is relevant to everyone whether you watched the series or not

Note: Limited spoilers are inevitable

“What is all that hype about Dark?” I asked seeing everyone talking about this series on Netflix. So I started watching it out of curiosity and finished all 3 seasons in 5 days! Let me note, this post is not merely about Dark, but the moments I noticed while watching it. Since I joined Medium and reading various inspirational articles on this platform, I taught myself to find story ideas in everything I observe in my surroundings. Whether you are familiar with the series or not, you can still enjoy the article and apply the lessons in your life if you like them.

Don’t let your ego lead you

Tame your ego and you will take full control of your life in your hands. Having high self-esteem is pretty healthy but it does not mean you should forget empathy and rational thinking. When someone over-prefers their ego first, ignoring others’ lives and interests, it only damages the situation for everyone.

A character named Hannah in the series is stuck on her childhood crush, which is turned to be a love-affair years later despite they both have families. When the son (Mikkel) of her lover gets lost, the whole town is in turmoil; even her husband commits suicide, but all she cares about is her relationship with Ulrich — her lover. She is chasing any chance to get together with him in the middle of the whole madness. Another character in the series- Ines keeps Mikkel (the lost child) with herself insistently because she wanted to fill the void of her lost son with someone else’s child. Her ego ruined the life of a little boy and his family.

Do you also have such people around? Or have you done something similar at any point in your life? Empathy is indeed more rational in some situations. We all just passed through a hard time globally. Pandemia taught us to forget our egos and be more emphatic towards the health of our families, communities, elderly people, and the whole world. If an egoistic person acts like how s/he feels comfortable, it would end up with more catastrophic results for everyone else. Self-love, self-value is great. We are the lucky ones for we are given the chance to be mortal and come to this earth with a mission and role. But no one is the center of the universe. Look at Microsoft or Apple. They still do a pretty good job without Bill Gates and Steve Jobs…

“The world was here before you, and will exist after you. You are not the center of the universe, nor are you its circumference.”- Matshona Dhliwayo

Communication is important. Transparent communication is more important

I also noticed is there is no proper communication between the characters in Dark. All the characters who did time travel to change the events in the past or the future did not inform anyone else about it. How stubborn it is. You go to the past to affect my life occurrences and you do not even inform me. (Ego again). They could have solved the issues keeping the group spirit and collaborate. Okay, it is only a show. But don’t we meet such people in everyday life?

In romantic relationships, between family members or colleagues communication is an element of the most utmost importance. Communication is not simply a dialogue but building an understanding and trust, making sure everyone is on the same page. Transparent communication is an open talk, sharing the most important details, deepest desires, putting all your cards on the table. It is a fair game, not a puzzle of secrets.

Communication is the main step towards peace let alone between individuals, but also bigger states. Do you have a relationship problem or a trust issue with your partner? Or you are not satisfied with your job? Maybe you need help with your next project? Communicate. Tell them what you want openly and nicely. Talk, ask for advice, or a mentor to guide you. We are SOCIAL animals. Use that gift of speech act properly. Above all, if you don’t feel comfortable talking about what concerns you with your partner, or boss or a family member, you are in the wrong place anyway. That relationship is not sincere or built on fear. Build your connections on honest, sincere, transparent communication.

“Communication is your ticket to success, if you pay attention and learn to do it effectively.”- Theo Gold

Listen and talk till the end

I observed one more thing in Dark. When the characters talk, they never tell something until the end. Almost all talks are left incomplete like the ending of Inception. The talker tosses a hint and then just leaves the room, like in those dramatic Brazilian soap operas. And the listener is left staring blankly trying to figure out what the other person just said. Or vice versa happens: when someone tries to explain their issue, the listener leaves the room.

I know it is only a piece of art, but it is disrespectful when someone behaves that way in real life. I witnessed similar occasions in relationships. Sometimes I did so. Let’s say a girl is annoyed at her partner, she just hints some “keywords” on what she is annoyed about but wouldn’t tell openly and clearly that her problem is. Just talk till the end for God’s sake…

Regarding the second case, listening to someone, letting them explain themselves shows your respect. Also, it shows your ability to listen and how high-quality person you are. The person in front of you may have a difficulty in self-expression, or in collecting their thoughts at that moment. Give people some time, let them talk and listen to them.

“When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.”- Ernest Hemingway

Your best teacher is yourself

My favorite moments in Dark were when the older selves of characters show up in front of the younger selves to guide and explain things. I wish it was real. I wish my older self suddenly appears saying “I waited for this moment for 33 years. Now I am here to guide you, tell you everything”. But since time travel is not possible in real life, we can guide ourselves at the given moment.

Life throws different scenarios at you, so you play the role and grow from that experience. As if you are given a basket of apples, but you cannot eat them all and have to separate the healthy and rotten ones. Approaching life events this way with a little bit of critical and analytical mindset is beneficial. You will learn to be critical towards yourself as well along the way to keep your healthy behaviors and make a jam from your rotten sides. Self-criticism is okay when done right. It can be helpful when you see and accept your mistakes, get your lessons, and grow. Of course, if you overly criticize yourself in a toxic way you will damage your self-confidence and diminish your worth. But the moral of the story here is different- learning from the past, getting certain lessons, and upgrading your personality.

No one else knows you better than you do. Your best guide and closest friend is only yourself. The person who knows your best and worst sides, strengths and weaknesses, guilty pleasures, deepest secrets, wildest desires is you. The only person who holds all of this valuable data is you, use it wisely. For me, the most mature people and wisest people in the world are the ones who realize their full responsibility for themselves, never get discouraged from failures, rather learn from them. I honestly admire such people of strong will. Please, be one of them.

“I may be alone, but I am never lonely. I am always with my best friend, and that is me.”- Debasish Mridha

Somethings in life are inevitable but how to accept them is your choice

The characters in Dark try to change the future and past for ages to prevent an apocalypse and all the repeated happenings. But whatever they do, what is meant to happen keeps happening. Even when Jonas and Martha (main characters) supposedly stopped the course of events sacrificing their own existence in the finale, Hannah had a Deja Vu and decided to name her soon-to-be son “Jonas”. For me, it means things will happen in this way or another.

You can call it “fate”, “destiny” or whatever you like. Some occurrences will still happen no matter you try to change the course of events. Death and losses are inevitable. So are aging and growing old. Conflicts, misunderstandings are inevitable because two human beings never think completely alike. Dreams, love, hatred, feelings, mistakes… all are inevitable. Some limited spoilers I used in this post were inevitable :)

We cannot change things we have no control over, but we can change and control how we perceive them. The most mature way to behave for you would be to accept and move on.

It is extremely liberating to remember that no matter what happens, you are never given any pain stronger than you. Keeping this inner strength of yours in mind, you can overcome anything coming from outside. Have faith and let this flow go as it is. Accept the experiences with curiosity to learn and say goodbye with wisdom when the time arrives.

“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react.”- Charles R. Swindoll