avatarPatricia Jeanne

Summary

Patricia Jeanne humorously addresses a subscriber's disappointment with a serious article on AI-generated text, while navigating the challenges of writing with her alter-egos, including the satirical Lizzie Lizard.

Abstract

In a tongue-in-cheek response to a subscriber's critique, Patricia Jeanne, also known as Lizzie Lizard, apologizes for the lack of humor in her recent educational piece aimed at middle-school teachers for identifying AI-generated text. Despite the article's serious tone and its success among educators, the author acknowledges the expectation for humor from her readers, particularly "Billy Bob," and reflects on the struggle to balance her comedic instincts with the need to produce more sober content. The article also touches on the financial aspects of her writing career, the challenges of titling her works, and the unintentional mix-ups of humorous and serious responses in the comments sections. The piece concludes with a self-deprecating plea for the subscriber's continued support and a subtle promotion for her Medium membership.

Opinions

  • The author recognizes the importance of humor in her writing but admits to failing in this regard with her recent article.
  • Patricia Jeanne expresses genuine effort and difficulty in writing a straight, non-humorous piece, especially given her natural inclination towards satire.
  • She reflects on the internal battle between her comedic alter-ego, Lizzie Lizard, and the need to be a responsible parent and writer.
  • The author takes a playful jab at the subscriber's expectation of humor, suggesting they might not be as sophisticated a comedy connoisseur as initially thought.
  • Patricia Jeanne pokes fun at her own challenges with creating titles and managing her various personas, including Sensitive Sally and Give-it-up-you-wannabe Gertrude.
  • She humorously criticizes the subscriber's use of a super-duper cyber-security email address in a public setting, highlighting her expertise in cybercrime.
  • The author concludes with a mix of humor and self-promotion, inviting the subscriber to suggest topics and to consider supporting her through a Medium membership.

Lizzie Lizard delivers biting snark

I’m Sorry My Piece Didn’t Leave You in Stitches

Really, a need for medical care would’ve been nice

Writing is easy — all you have to do is open a vein. Source: Author

Dearest Subscriber #8 aka Billy Bob,

Dude — I appreciate all my subscribers, and I’m really sorry you didn’t find my educational piece written for middle-school teachers on detecting AI-generated text funny.

Granted, I really messed up with the 12 Steps title 12 Ways to Identify AI-generated Text in Student Work. It was way too similar to the funny one with the made-up reasons kids shouldn’t use ChatGPT, or the ones with snarlcastic replies I’d give if I was ChatGPT and had to deal with one too many dumb prompts. I apologize, sincerely.

In my defense, the subtitle was “How to distinguish human writing from ChatGPT”. It was a clue there wouldn’t be a lot of giggles. But, the you-won’t-earn-a-dime-from-this educators liked it. Just sayin’.

You have no idea how hard it is for me to write something straight, devoid of any humor.

But I failed you. I feel so bad.

There’s this crazed little limbic lizard/snake creature living in the dark recesses of my cerebral folds which I’m constantly having to mute. I try to keep her on a leash but Lizzie Lizard slithers away really fast sometimes.

If I read something foolish or my daughter says anything, the limbic lizard brain jumps up and down like an Adderall-addled ADHD thing grinning like a demon-possessed Cheshire cat ready to strike.

I’m constantly battling the need to be a decent, nurturing parent with the little devil scientist who thinks “What’ll happen if I scream an insanely inappropriate answer?” My girl will need years of therapy to recover from having me as a single parent, and I’m trying really hard to write smart stuff so I’ll be able to pay for it.

This is the first month my writing earnings actually surpass the cost of membership. Woo-hoo! In fact, I’m on track to afford the monthly fee plus buy a pre-made taco! (Assuming it’s on sale at Walmart and doesn’t contain genuine animal protein.)

The serious piece took forever to produce. I suffer from insomnia and putting those steps down kept me nodding off. So, I understand it was a real disappointment if you spent 8 of the needed 10 minutes reading and were holding your breath waiting to let out a loud guffaw.

I did at least write “7. AI won’t get bored, tired, or lazy and decide to skip step number 7.” Practically EVERYBODY highlighted that one. Number 11 of the 14 twelve steps was absolutely hilarious! “AI normally doesn’t make speeeling mistakes.” warranted a private comment “Show, don’t tell.” from Mister Obvious Duh.

You can probably breathe out now. Oh! You know Peggy Lee?

🎵 I’m sorry, so sorry. Please accept my apology… 🎵

You didn’t think that was funny?

Maybe you’re not the sophisticated connoisseur of comedy we both thought. Knock-knock. Who’s there? Dimwit. Dimwit who? You.

Yes, I struggle with titles. They’re confusing, especially to me. Naming the riotously funny/silly Keep Kids Learning, Not Cheating Using AI started by Patricia Jeanne, then hijacked by Lizzie Lizard was a mistake I own.

Notifications of comments left on the two very different pieces made me make inappropriate responses like “Yeah, emptying cache resulted in overdraft fees! Wozniak was such a twit! ROFLMAO!!!” on the serious one, and “Your insights on the intricacies of repeated human algorithmic generative learning are impressive.” on the goofy one. Oops.

In my overflowing data folder of drafts I have three named “Title”, two with “Working Title”, one with “Figure Out a Title!”, plus a couple with simple emojis instead of words. I’m afraid they don’t interest me enough to investigate. Well, except maybe 😹 and 🙄. I'm a little curious over why I chose shrimps (🍤🍤🥤). Just not curious enough. They’re probably the updated versions of AI How-To articles, and we’re all sick of those.

I guess we’ll never know. I’m so sorry.

Look Billy Bob Bartender on Brokeback Boulder, I’m still new at this. While your expert analysis and daily writings on weather patterns over Any-tiny-boring-town, Kansas are always stimulating and well worth the 29 minutes to read, I’m still tripping over my paws and mechanical pencils.

Sure, I could create a different profile for my serious stuff, but picking a new name is… problematic. “Writer” is taken and Medium says I can’t use 🟫, so I’m stuck. Lizzie Lizard has ideas but I know better than to follow her instincts without much considered sober thought. And that’s an effort posing obvious challenges.

I really hope you won’t unsubscribe. Sitting alongside Lizzie Lizard is Sensitive Sally and Give-it-up-you-wannabe Gertrude. They’re really bad at handling rejection.

And I’m sooo sorry my previous efforts were unsatisfactory.

If you tell me what to write, I’ll get together with my alter-egos at our monthly “So you wanna be a writer? You’re an idiot.” meeting and run it up the old fabric-in-the-wind pole. See? I’m honoring you bub.

With all my love and undying dedication,

Patricia Jeanne, Lizzie Lizard, Sensitive Sally, and Give-it-up-you-wannabe-Gertrude

ps. You know having a super-duper cyber-security email address like [email protected] and dropping it in subscriptions for any old smarty-pants to see kind of defeats the point, right? Especially when dealing with an old techie with knowledge of systems and cybercrime. Now that’s funny!

pss. From Sensitive Sally and Give-it-up-you-wannabe-Gertrude: We’re sorry, that was Lizzie Lizard writing the PS. Patricia Jeanne is passed out. Chances are she won’t show up to do any editing — she’s lame that way. (And really sucks at titles. She almost named this #832.)

pssssss… Now I’m waiting for an apology from you for not reading all the rest of my work. Stop being so stingy! I need a corrugated cardboard taco with guacamole and pretend chicken! Also, I harbor extreme regret.

Thanks for reading!

Join Medium for a low $5 monthly fee, a portion of which helps support me at no cost to you. @pmemphis5421/membership

Because I’m lazy and can’t decide what to put here I’m including lists of stuff to avoid further confusion since I kinda suck at apologizing.

I like the first one best but Lizzie Lizard makes her appearance felt most strongly in the others.

Hark! There be monsters here! No, but there are some not-so-amusing pieces on subjects like social media privacy, artificial intelligence, and how to be anonymous online. Lizzie Lizard is there, but sometimes limp from medication. They’re all written in language for normal people.

Amy Sea image adapted by Canva
Humor
Apology
Ai Writing
Writing
Artificial Intelligence
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