I’m Not “That Woman” and That’s Okay
The moment you realize that being a woman means you are not enough
I just read Yael’s story on being a real woman and it left a knot in my stomach. She described the classic tales and agonies of being a woman. Y.L. Wolfe has been one of my favorite writers since I joined this platform. I resonate with her stories more than any writer I’ve ever met.
As I read her story, I tried to imagine myself in some of the scenarios she mentioned, but I couldn’t. I have always been a rebellious child. I hate rules that sound like bondage. Since I was a girl, I have followed some of the guidelines intended to groom girls into “dutiful wives” even though I hated them.
But as I grew into a woman, I was faced with a shocking revelation that my life will always be undervalued. Not because I haven’t earned the right to be respected and valued, but because I’m a woman.
Like Yael said, the misconception that “Real women are delicate and beautiful, like birds,” haunts me. No matter how much I strive to be recognized as a contributing fraction in society or how strong the challenges I have overcome to be an independent diligent and resilient person, I will always be regarded as “delicate,” “fragile,” and “incomplete.”
Do I see myself as “That Woman” society defines?
No, I don’t!
I don’t want to be that woman. I NEVER HAVE and I NEVER WILL. I am my own person. I’M A WOMAN WITH HIGH MORAL VALUES. I respect myself and others. And I want to be respected as well.
Why Modern Women Defy Social Standards and Emasculate Men
It seems society stuffs women in a small fitting box so we remain dutiful and submissive to men. It’s a strategic mind control for power and wealth. Do you remember what happened after World War II? The working women proved that they were more than Just Wives.
They made men richer. But they knew women had minds of their own so they sort of a way to keep them under a leash while capitalizing on their reproductive, mental and physical values.
However, the moment you remove yourself from that box, you stop existing. You will be ridiculed by men, women and children. Yes, women turn on themselves too. Your friends will denounce you. Your co-workers will alienate you.
And your parents? Argh! They can’t stand the shame you’ve brought to the family because they blame themselves for not raising you right.
I wonder. At what point do women become independent brain-functioning human beings? When can we start using our God-given IQ to think for ourselves and do what every man does — be ourselves?
Oh, I know. NEVER!
All the grooming on strength, courage, patience, kindness, compassion, understanding and humility are worthless unless we are serving men with those values. So if you are thinking of being “just you” in those skirts and gowns, that will never happen.
That is why I decided to take a page from the men’s manual and not care. Men don’t care about social expectations. They do what they want when they want it. And so far, adopting this same mindset has rewarded me in many ways I can’t describe.
Check the bag, check the bait
If you’ve noticed, men care about body counts now more than ever. Why?
Body counts didn’t matter when women were sold off as sex slaves 170 years ago. It didn’t matter when rape was legal. Even today, women rank the highest victims of sex trafficking by 72%. Let’s not forget the comfort women created by the Japanese Military to work as sex slaves for soldiers. These women were raped by 30 to 40 men a day. Some of them were between 13 to 19 years old.
Pimps continue to exploit, brutalize and coerce women into prostitution. The same men shaming non-virgins are also patronizing sexualized business. Studies have shown that 43% of men said a woman should do anything they ask if they are paying for sex.
So if women are rewarding men with orgasms, why care how many men she has slept with? Why shame sex workers for their job when you know without them most women won’t satisfy you the way you want? Some won’t even give you the time of the day.
You see women will do anything to be valued and appreciated and if men keep handing out bags of money to lure them in, they will oblige. If you want to stop women’s body count from increasing, stop giving out bags.
Buying slaves for strictly sex purposes was a demonstration of white male superiority back in the 50s. And today, the purpose remains the same, except now Black men have joined the culture of sexualizing women.
Well, the body count is the least of your worries when you’re defining a real woman. I know most men want an obedient slave for a wife or girlfriend.
Oh! Don’t fret. Submission is just a camouflage of what men actually want. If men want submissive women, they know they would have to submit too. Because they are the leaders in the relationship, after all. So you lead and we follow. Great!
Nah! The problem is they are not leading. They order and demand what they want from women and then expect us to obey without complaints.
Isn’t that the definition of an obedient slave?
Women were created to serve men. In their minds, our selfless existence circles around men’s desires. Whether for good or bad, women are servants because we are of lower breeds (sarcastically speaking). We are subjected to humiliation because we have no emotions. We don’t feel and we can’t reason.
But wait a minute. Who are women submitting to? Isn’t it the same men who have murdered, raped, oppressed, and abused women throughout the ages and the ones who stand by as women are dehumanized?
I think we’ve heard enough. Women now know they’ve been manipulated and lied to from the moment we entered this world. We now know who are and what we bring to the table. We know who to follow and we only follow those who lead by example.
So if you are still wondering why most women no longer act like women, you have your answer. Women now know that femininity isn’t a weakness. It is our power and we know when and how to use our feminine prowess for the benefit of all mankind.
Let’s take the conversation to the comments. I like to hear your opinion. Do you think modern women defying social standards?