I’m Just a Blue-Bearded Man Seeking a Wife Who Won’t Open Doors
Relationships are built on trust and blind obedience

Hello virtuous maidens!
This is Lord Pierre, the land-owning nobleman who lives a life of luxury in that castle nearby. No one calls me Pierre, though. They call me by my nickname, Bluebeard.
In case you can’t tell by that on-the-nose title, I have a distinct feature that sets me apart from the other men in the area. My beard is blue, like the Atlantic sea. It’s actually pretty appropriate. You could say I am like the ocean. Dark, mysterious, and merciless to women who don’t follow very clear guidelines put in place to keep them safe.
What are those guidelines, you ask? Well, that is a secret I only reveal to the woman who I wed. I like secrets. I especially love it when they remain secret. It’s troubling to find that many women do not know how to keep secrets. They like to tell their friends or the local authorities business that is not theirs to tell. Or, they would like to if I didn’t convince them otherwise.
Indeed, I’m famous for having a dozen ex-wives. My heart has been torn asunder numerous times. It’s impossible to say which is more tragic when broken; one’s heart, or the rules.
My last wife promised to love and obey. Since she failed to obey I can only assume she failed to love. In my mind, one can’t be had without the other. Sadly she ran off unexpectedly. Left only a note telling her family not to look for her. Strangely enough, so did the other 11 wives before her.
What can I say? There must be wonderfully sexy rogues around with silver tongues who can promise whatever they must to lure wives away from their husbands. Why else would these women leave the comforts of my castle? It has everything a wife could want. Spas, multiple closets, a forbidden room, salons, and even a bowling alley!
Do you like games? I love playing games! You know why? Because they have rules. And the only thing I love more than a good rule is a virtuous woman who blindly obeys that rule.
For example, if I were to give you the keys to the entire castle while I’m on a business trip and tell you there is ONE room you are not allowed to enter, you should listen.
More controlling men might not give you the key to the forbidden room in the first place. I’m a nice guy though. Can I help it that I want to trust you? Almost as much as I bet you want to live.
Don’t mind me, I have a dark sense of humor. If you’ve got a bluebeard you need to be funny or very rich to offset that perceived flaw. I have both.
How about a date? Do you like movies. Have you seen Frozen? The song “Love is an Open Door” is charming. Yet it is false. Sometimes love is a locked door, and it should stay locked up tight.





