I’m Hanging Up My Hotwife Hat
Marking the end of an era and the start of something new
As I sit here and try to find the words I want to convey, I am sort of at a loss for words. I equate this period of time as a transformation similar to graduating from high school or shutting the chapter of a good book with the notion that you feel fulfilled and hopeful for things yet to come. While some endings are sad, I don’t think this is one of them. I feel at peace with my decision, and whole-heartedly believe that it was time to move onto something new.
I am no longer a Hotwife.
While my husband and I have been participating in the Hotwife lifestyle for the better part of ten years, as of two months ago, we both decided that maybe it was time for us to move onto something new. Now, if you follow me in any capacity, you already know that we are also swingers and have dabbled in polyamory as well. However, we won’t be playing bridge at the local country club just yet!
What Brought About the Change
For a long time, we supplemented our already great sex life by incorporating others into it. We are quite open sexually and have always given each other the room to explore our desires within reasonable limits outside of our marriage.
But, at the heart of it, it has always been him and I. We have always been each other’s home base or true north if you will. We have a family and life that we’ve built together. We are each other’s “people” and there has never been any chance that we would not grow old together.
As time as gone by, we have had long discussions about what is important to us when it comes to having relationships or sex with people outside of our marriage. More recently, I’ve expressed my reluctance to continue doing the Hotwife thing. Mostly, I’ve found myself more interested in swinging, and with the limited free time we have as our jobs get more demanding and our kids get older, has caused me to turn inward. For a while, I’ve been feeling like something had to give. For me, it was being a Hotwife.
Shutting the Door
One night after an excessively long day at work, I thought about our plans for the upcoming weekend and I dreaded them. I was to meet with one of my favorite Bulls, one in which I always looked forward to meeting. Yet, on this given evening, the thought of having to go out was almost making me sick to my stomach. When my husband came over to sit next to me, he immediately asked what was the matter.
From there, I expressed my reluctance to keep doing the Hotwifing. My husband didn’t seem very surprised by my exclamation. He told me he had been noticing for some time that my drive to meet men for casual sex had seemed to decrease over the past year.
Even though the woman is always the driver of the Hotwife experience, the husband does get some sexual satisfaction out of it. My decision to stop acting upon this particular kink, would effect him. My husband has always been very turned on by our Hotwife antics. However, Mr. Black was quick to tell me that if my heart was no longer in it, then there was no way he could find it appealing anymore either.
What’s Next For Us
As we move forward on our sexual adventures, we’ve decided we want to spend more time investing in relationships that can go the distance with us both. We want to date other couples in a way that creates a bond that carries over into the bedroom. When you share a deep friendship with your sex partners the sex itself is truly better.
With the Hotwifing, I never really got that with my male play partners. Sure, there were a couple of men that both my husband and I became out of the bedroom friends with. But, we never became as close to said men as we have to our swinger friends.
I think as we’ve both aged our priorities and sexual preferences have shifted. Another thing that I cannot get with the Hotwife experience is play time with my fellow females. With Hotwifing, I am the only woman involved. As a truly bisexual woman, I like having the opportunity to explore that in a safe and comfortable setting. I look forward to doing this more in the future.
I don’t know if I will ever act as a Hotwife again. Although I’m a big believer in the fact that Hotwives come in all shapes and sizes, I think for me, I felt best doing this in my 30’s and into my 40’s. My desire for casual sex with random men likely won’t go up in the future. I’m not one to say never, but in my heart, I feel like my days as a Hotwife are over.
However, this doesn’t mean I can’t still write about the sexy times I had, even if somewhat fictional, as an insatiable Hotwife.
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© Keeva Black, 2021. All rights reserved.
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