A Hotwife Answers Your Burning Questions
Honest answers from a wife that likes hot sex, and her husband, too.
Several of my readers across the web have written me or asked me questions via Twitter about my experiences with being a Hotwife. I have written about it a variety of times on Medium. Some of my more popular pieces can be viewed here:
5 Things Most People Get Wrong About Hotwives
Needless to say, I know a thing or two about this lifestyle. I’ve even added my husband’s answers to add to the mix for both a man’s and woman’s perspective.
Take my answers to these questions with a grain of salt. Remember that every couple practices this kind of kink differently. They couple set their own rules, boundaries and parameters for Hotwife play. This is our version.
Without Further Ado…
What’s the biggest draw for each you and your husband?
Keeva: “I enjoy the little bit of independence it allows me in my own sexual exploration. I am able to explore another man in a safe environment with my husband’s consent. I also like that it turns my husband on…”
Mr. Black: “I find is sexy knowing that it is something my wife enjoys. The excitement of knowing what she is going to go do turns me on like nothing else quite does.”
How did you fall into it?
Keeva: “Fate kind of stepped in here. I’ll let Mr. B elaborate…”
Mr. Black: “We started out with swinging. We had a date planned with a couple that we’d known for a long time. Then, the wife got sick and our sitter fell through. Rather than waste a reservation, I told Keeva to go to dinner with the husband and his wife actually had the same idea.”
Do you also consume #hotwife content?
Mr. Black: “Sometimes. I’m always on the lookout for a new idea to incorporate into our hotwifing. I also try to keep in mind most erotica can be a bit extreme.”
Keeva: “Heck yes I do! Since I also write erotica, I really enjoy reading content put out by others that have some experience with different niches — including hotwifing.”
And the question the novices will want to know, who does it make “happier?”
Mr. Black: “I think it makes us both happy in different ways. There is definitely two different versions of compersion at work with this. Keeva likes that this whole thing turns me on, and I just really enjoy seeing her get dolled up and get a chance to be sexy on her own, without me there.”
Keeva: “My personal opinion is that it’s made each of us happier at different intervals. When we first started, I think Mr. B was more excited and into it than I was. Of course, I was never forced to do anything I didn’t want to do. But, the more we got into it, and especially the role playing part, I really found great joy in that.”
How did you even begin the conversation around hotwifing?”
Mr. Black: “We didn’t really set out to be a hotwife couple. It wasn’t something we really knew much about until the before mentioned situation arose. But from there, we dove deep into research and realized it was something we might enjoy.”
Keeva: “Like my hubby said, it kind of happened by chance. We have even heard of some couples falling into the swinging lifestyle that way. It is almost as if a divine force throws this awesome thing your way…”
“Does that mean ONLY she can play separately? Isn’t that cuckolding?”
Mr. Black: “I see hotwifing differently than cuckolding in that there isn’t a humiliation component. Also, with hotwifing, this isn’t a free-for-all. Keeva can’t just go off and do what she wants. With us, there is an understanding between my wife, her bull and myself. There’s certain fantasies that we all like to get out of it. It is very much planned and orchestrated.”
Keeva: “Yeah, we’re not into humiliation. The only thing the term #hotwife and #cuckhold have in common, in my book, is that the husband enjoys the fact that his wife is having sex with other men. That’s basically it. If you read my previous work on Medium, I dive more in depth into the differences here.”
“I could never LET my wife do XYZ…” and “how could you LET her do such a thing?”
Mr. Black: “Actually…in most forms of hotwifing, the wife is actually the one calling the shots! It is them going out and having sex with a stranger outside of our marriage, it is them opening up their body in this situation. Do I benefit from it? Of course! I wouldn’t be cool with her doing it if I wasn’t.”
Keeva: “There is no “letting” in anything we do — in our vanilla life, our life as parents to our two kids, or our sexual adventures. We do everything as a team. We have mutual respect and love for each other and have worked really hard to be able to have this type of relationship. Anyone that has to ask their spouse for permission for anything, probably should be looking inward. Also, keep in mind, what works for us, won’t work for everyone else. And, that’s okay.”
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© Keeva Black, 2022. All rights reserved.
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