How To Be a Hotwife

Simple tips to begin your hotwife experience.

In a world of unique kinks and satisfying fetishes, one hidden sexual subculture reigns among the top. Jumping on the dark side of Twitter, scantily clad women can be seen wearing tight panties with the words, “My husband likes to watch” scribbled across their backsides. This is the world of hotwifing. If you are not familiar with the term, Dictionary.com explains it best:

“A hotwife is a married woman who has sexual relationships outside of her marriage, with the full knowledge and consent of her husband, who himself doesn’t have affairs.”

In many cases, the husband seeks out men to sleep with his wife (who may be referred to as the vixen). Next, she gets dolled up in a sexy dress and lingerie and heads off to meet the man her husband arranged to sleep with her. The husband (sometimes called the stag) may be present, but that’s not always the case. This is not to be confused with a cuckold!

Many times the hotwife goes solo and returns to her husband once the deed is done. Though, there may be a video of the activity. The male she meets is usually referred to as a bull. When the wife returns, there is generally some sort of sex between her and her husband, high off of the fact that she has just fucked another man. There are versions of hotwifing everywhere in between, but this has been my own experience. Bear in mind hotwifing can mean different things to different folks, and that’s okay, too.

Many couples have some level of interest in the hotwife genre but have no idea where to begin. Here are a few tips my husband and I have learned along the way that can help get you started:

Set the Parameters

Hotwifing can be defined and acted out in a variety of ways. While there is a general core belief that the woman will go off to sleep with a different male partner, some vary as to whether or not the husband should be there to watch. This is something you will have to decide between you and your spouse. Some questions you might want to address:

Where will the hotwifing be taking place?

Where will you find sexual partners for the hotwife?

Will both of you be involved in screening men?

What safety accommodations do you have to bear in mind?

Take the time to do the work upfront with everyone’s expectations, comfort levels, and interests. The whole point is to indulge in a sexual desire that will ultimately bring you closer, not further apart.

Play the Role

Scouring the internet for tips on how to be a hotwife, will likely produce a plethora of porn that doesn’t really properly portray the real-life version. While many of us do like to get made up in sexy bodycon dresses, red rouge, and those high heels we keep way at the back of our closet for special occasions, there are many women that don’t. Some women wear their street clothes and wait for the man to come to her at her own home. Others drive to a hotel room to meet her bull.

Being a hotwife doesn’t have to be one particular thing. If you feel sexy in yogas and flats then go with that! If you want to get dressed up like you are going to the club then do that. The entire point is for the wife to go off feeling sexually empowered and comfortable. If you are not comfortable then how are you going to feel sexy?

Look as playing a hotwife like an acting role. While the sex should be good and the needs/wants behind the act of hotwifing should be real, it is okay to pretend to be something you are not in this. In fact, that is kind of the point in it all — to fulfill a dirty little desire that most people would never act on. But remember, you and your spouse actually have the balls to go through with it.

Find Good Bulls

Probably the most important part of hotwifing besides the comfort levels of both spouses is to find a reliable, sane, and accommodating man to act as the bull. Some male partners prefer not to be called bulls, but in this case, I will use it. Basically, we’re talking about the other dude, the one that will be fucking the married woman.

You absolutely have to find a knowledgeable bull to help in your hotwifing experience. Swiping through Tinder and picking some random guy off the street likely won’t fulfill either of your desires.

If you are in the swinging lifestyle or on any reputable sites, such as FetLife, it can be much easier to find the right man for the job. Word of mouth is another great way to find a respectable bull. This can be done via online forums, at sex clubs, or maybe you know another couple that can recommend someone? Obviously attraction for both the hotwife and bull is vital, too. Before the experience, it is a great idea for the three of you to meet over coffee and discuss expectations, safety concerns, and how you all want the scenario to play out. This will also be a good way to gauge chemistry.

Climax

The idea of sleeping with another man outside of your marriage is very daunting to many women. That’s totally okay. I was so nervous the first time I did this as a hotwife. But, when I did it and came back home to my husband, the sex and connection it brought the two of us was something that’s hard to put into words. I’m a firm believer in people exploring their sexual wants and desires in a safe way. If hotwifing is something that you get turned on by, then try it once. A one-off might just be enough to satiate the fantasy. Or it might open up your world to the possibility of so much more.

The number one focus of the hotwifing couple should be the two of them. Hotwifing may involve another man sleeping with the hotwife, but the entire point of it is the sexually excite the married couple. If at any point, it becomes something other than that, then it’s time to stop and reassess.

When done properly, with willing participants and reliable partners, hotwifing can be fun, sexy and enhance a marriage on so many levels.