GENDER
I’m a Woman who Manspreads
Deal With It
I may be a woman but I manspread.
According to the internet, manspreading is:
a practice whereby a man, especially one traveling on public transportation, adopts a sitting position with his legs wide apart, in such a way as to encroach on an adjacent seat or seats.
Although women have kvetched about men taking up more space than they actually need for a long time, the term manspreading wasn’t coined until 2014. The practice of manspreading is often criticized as yet another pernicious result of gender bias. But all it really means is that you sit in such a way that you take up all the space you’re comfortable with.
Apparently, men are far more comfortable taking up plenty of space than women are. Which is why nobody ever gets accused of womanspreading.
I See London, I See France
When I was a little girl growing up in the 1960s I was constantly told that I had to sit with my knees together.
Why?
So nobody could look up my dress and see my underpants.
I didn’t want folks to see my underpants, so whenever I wore a dress, which was pretty much mandatory for little girls back then, I sat the way I was supposed to. Modestly. Like a lady. Knees together. But once I became a teenager, I stopped wearing dresses and started wearing jeans. And sitting with my legs comfortably apart.
So what does it mean when a woman sits with her legs open?
Again, I consulted the internet:
Sitting with slightly open legs is a relaxed position, showing the person is comfortable.
This sounds like a good thing.
But, the internet also tells us this:
Sitting with legs apart allows a wider opening of the legs and can thus be a sexual crotch display
Apparently, displaying the fact that you have a crotch is okay for dudes. But not for ladies.
Is that both retro and sexist? I think so.
What’s wrong with me?
When I sit, my knees don’t naturally press together. Instead, I sit with my legs apart. It’s more stable and more comfortable.
Which means? There’s apparently something wrong with me.
When I searched the term woman sitting to find a photo to illustrate this essay, I couldn’t find one of a woman sitting the way I usually do. If you ask for a photo of a woman sitting, you’ll get dozens of variations on this:
And this:
Apparently, in Stockphotoland, and everywhere else, there’s only one way for a woman to sit.
Knees together, cross those legs, don’t take up space, look unassertive and harmless!
The hell with that. I prefer this photo:
Not that this illustration is perfect either. The problem? The model’s legs may be comfortably spread, but she’s also perched on top of a wall. This doesn’t signal “I’m strong and empowered and comfortable about taking up as much space as I need. It says, “Look how adorable I am, perched atop this high wall for your enjoyment!”
But at least she’s not sitting on top of that wall with her knees demurely pressed together.
I’m not rude
I’m not rude. If I’m on a crowded train, I won’t invade your space by taking up more than my fair share. That being said, if you sit down beside me and try to crowd into my space? I’ll defend it.
But if there’s plenty of space on the train? You can happily sit with your legs spread. And so will I.
And yet, when I look around, I rarely see women who sit this way.
Why am I a sitting weirdo? I’ll turn the question around and ask why, in this day and age, more women don’t sit with legs apart. Are they brainwashed by the patriarchy? Are they truly more comfortable with their knees demurely crossed or pressed together? Are they so into signaling to the world that that they’re female that they can’t bring themselves to do something as macho as manspreading?
If you’re a woman who would never dream of sitting with your legs apart, help me out. Explain it to me as a response to this essay, while sitting at your computer with your knees pressed tightly together, of course.
In the meantime, even though I’m definitely a woman, I’m going to continue to manspread. And if you’re a woman who has never tried manspreading? I invite you to go out on a limb (or up on a wall) and give it a try.
You might find out you enjoy it.
Writing Coach and editor-for-hire Roz Warren, who writes for everyone from the Funny Times to the New York Times, can help you improve and publish your work. Drop her a line at [email protected]. (That’s Ros with an “s,” not a “z.”)
