I’m A Pumpkin and I Would Kindly Ask You Not To Stab My Face This Year (Part 3)

A Series Of Letters Exploring Spooky Season

Dear Humanity,

If you’re wondering how I feel about the lovely Halloween tradition of attacking an innocent pumpkin’s skin with a sharp object just to carve a face into it — take a wild guess!

Not a fan.

I will have some sharp words of my own about this in a later installment, but there is one particularly deranged aspect of this misguided practice.

The facial expression.

Sometimes the pumpkin’s face is smiling.

If you stab me for your own amusement, at least have the decency to make my face angry.

Greetings,

The Pumpkin.

Part 2: