I’m A Pumpkin and I Would Kindly Ask You Not To Stab My Face This Year (Part 2)

A Series Of Letters Exploring Spooky Season

Dear Humanity,

Allow your imagination to run wild for a minute and picture this:

You spent all day outside and decide to take a quick nap before heading home.

You’re just about to drift off to sleep when the huge, unwashed hand of a disheveled pumpkin grabs you, stuffs you into a bag with raw meat and yogurt, and carries you home.

Humiliating, you say? Terrible? A disgrace?

I hope you’re positively gasping at this point, as you start to realize where this is going …

You are not ready.

Greetings,

The Pumpkin.

Part 1: