ILLUMINATI(on)
pointing the light bulb where the sun don’t shine
ILLUMINATI(on)
imagine a platform where your boat will rise (with thousands of others) seeking the big prize
of fame and recognition of fabulous success through circular promotion in egregious excess
ten thousand readers no, 20 … 30, heck, who’s counting!? any kind volunteers? our editors are drowning
in mountains of manuscripts ‘cause we take ’em all — no essay too formula no tale too tall
business, poetry fiction, philosophy science, self-improvement rants and technology
do you glean the pattern? do you see the common thread? why, of course you don’t, sweetie — specialization’s dead
we cast a wide net the blue sky’s the limit — niche publications are for the hopelessly timid
be sure to sing the praises of our glorious dear leader and he’ll push your stuff out wholesale yeah — not a real proofreader
he’ll pump out daily link-fests by the dozen shamelessly spam-tagging each writer and his cousin
and all’s we ask humbly, in return is that you submit to our swirling daily churn
you think your latest think piece is a ground-breaking trend-setter? to us it’s just a vehicle to pitch our group newsletter
and when you’re not writing your work for us ain’t done — go forth, recruit new fans for our house-of-cards kingdom!
in case any haters are sharpening their pencils, please note I sometimes poke good-natured fun at other publications
