Summary

The article emphasizes the significant impact bosses have on their employees' well-being and workplace experience, urging leaders to adopt empathetic, appreciative, and self-aware practices to improve their leadership and avoid being a source of stress.

Abstract

Recent research by McKinsey reveals that a majority of American workers find their boss to be a stressful and potentially toxic aspect of their work life. The article underscores the importance of a leader's role in shaping their team's daily experience, noting that leaders are responsible for at least 70% of employee engagement variations. It suggests that by demonstrating empathy, expressing gratitude, providing positive feedback, and prioritizing self-care, leaders can avoid being perceived as toxic. The article simplifies this guidance by advocating for leaders to treat their team members as they would treat a friend, thereby fostering a positive work environment and leaving a legacy of respect and care.

Opinions

Leaders often underestimate the impact of their actions on their teams, which can lead to a toxic work environment.
A leader's behavior, such as responding to mistakes with empathy and coaching rather than anger, is crucial in building loyalty and motivation among employees.
Expressing gratitude and providing positive feedback are low-cost, high-return strategies for improving team morale and performance.
Leaders must prioritize their own well-being to effectively support and lead their teams, especially when dealing with their own potentially toxic superiors.
The article criticizes the use of outdated feedback methods like the "feedback sandwich" and encourages the adoption of more effective feedback frameworks.
There are significant consequences for leaders who fail to care for their team members, including decreased productivity, creativity, and collaboration.
The legacy a leader leaves behind is shaped by daily actions and choices, emphasizing the importance of consistent, compassionate leadership.

If You’re Someone’s Boss, You Might Be the Worst Part of Their Day

Let’s fix that, shall we?

McKinsey recently published new research on the impact bosses have on their teams, and I’ll be honest — it ain’t good.

56% of American workers say that their boss is “mildly or highly toxic,” and 75% of Americans say that their boss “is the most stressful part of their workday.” Yikes.

So if you’re someone’s boss, I have to ask — could this be you?

According to McKinsey’s research, it could be. They found that “bosses consistently underestimate how their actions affect and will be interpreted by others.” And this makes sense when you consider that more than 50% of us say we’ve experienced or witnessed bullying at work, but less than 1% of us admit to doing it.

It goes without saying that those numbers don’t add up, which means many team leaders are not aware of their impact on their teams.

This only re-affirms what I have been telling team leaders for years — Your role as a leader is significant. How you treat the people on your team matters and it impacts their lives more than you realize.

We’re all only human with families, friends, and passions outside of work. But the well-being of each of those things hinges on our experience of success or failure at work. And who has the biggest effect on the work experience?

You, the leader. Gallup reports that managers account for at least 70% of the variance in employee engagement globally.

So, what’s a leader to do? How can you be sure that you’re in the top 25% of bosses who aren’t the most stressful part of your team’s day?

McKinsey breaks it into four practices that they have found to effectively avoid the label of “mildly or highly” toxic boss. They include:

Demonstrating empathy, compassion, and vulnerability: It turns out that how you respond to the mistakes or missteps your employees make is a big part of this. Rather than reacting in anger or frustration, the best bosses seek to suspend judgment and use the moment to do some coaching. Research shows that “the more leaders respond with compassion and curiosity to mistakes, the more employees look up to their leaders and are moved by their compassion or kindness, the more loyal they become to him or her.”

This Is How the Best Bosses Remain Calm Under Pressure

The dichotomy of reactive vs. responsive leadership.

medium.com

Expressing gratitude: You’d be surprised how far a simple “thank you” can go with most people. Showing appreciation for someone’s work acknowledges their inherent value, and we all want to be valued for what we bring to the table. In an American Psychological Association study, 93% of respondents who reported feeling valued said that they are motivated to do their best at work. Even better, expressing a genuine “thank you” costs you nothing.
Giving positive feedback: This is the “brag” part of my favorite feedback model, the “Brag, Worry, Wonder, Bet” framework. If you take the time to learn this model, it’ll change how you give feedback forever, and it’ll also allow you to stop using that awful “feedback sandwich” framework that you frankly should have retired eons ago.
Prioritizing your own well-being and self-care: The adage of “you can’t pour from an empty cup” applies here. You have to treat yourself well before you can do the same for those on your team, which can be especially difficult if your boss happens to be toxic. Strive to be the kind of boss where the bad stuff stops with you, and the good stuff starts.

The Best Leaders Stand In The Way Of The Bad Stuff

And make sure something better starts.

adjunctleadership.medium.com

These are all good things to strive for, but I’m going to simplify this even further. Because, at the end of the day, there’s really only one thing you need to do to avoid being the worst part of your team’s day.

Just care about them. That’s it; there’s literally nothing more to it. Think about how you would treat a friend in any given situation, and then treat your people like that. It truly is that simple.

And if you can’t or won’t do that, know that there are consequences seen and unseen.

According to Bob Sutton, a Stanford professor, “Hundreds of experiments show that encounters with rude, insulting, and demeaning people undermine others’ performance, including their decision-making skills, productivity, creativity, and willingness to work harder and help coworkers.

As a senior leader, your job is to build an organization where jerks don’t thrive.”

And that includes you.

Think about what you want your leadership legacy to be. Do you want to be remembered for being rude, insulting, or demeaning? I certainly hope not.

But the truth remains that you may not even be aware that your team perceives you in this way. Christine Porath, associate professor at Georgetown University’s McDonough School of Business, points out that:

Bosses produce demoralized employees through a string of actions:

Walking away from a conversation because they lose interest; answering calls in the middle of meetings without leaving the room; openly mocking people by pointing out their flaws or personality quirks in front of others; reminding their subordinates of their “role” in the organization and “title”; taking credit for wins, but pointing the finger at others when problems arise.

It’s time to look in the mirror and ask yourself if you’re doing any of these things. Might you be the worst part of your team’s day?

If you haven’t been showing your team genuine care recently, what will you start or stop doing today to change that?

How will you actively build the kind of leadership legacy you’ll be proud to leave behind?

Because legacies aren’t given, they’re built every single day.

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