SATIRE | OPINION | DISCUSSION
If You’re Hot, You’re Sweet; If You’re Not, You’re Creepy
Attractive Men Get Away With So Much Crap Online
Disclaimer: This article discusses online dating and hookup culture, with a focus on experiences prior to meeting in person. The opinions shared may not apply to all individuals, and any stereotypes or generalisations are not meant to invalidate anyone’s identity or experiences.
Ever since the invention of the Internet, it has become effortless to talk to people from all around the world that you might not otherwise have the chance to meet. People tend to be more daring and expressive due to a certain degree of anonymity and hence, making their wants and desires known in a way that they might not in real life.
Which also brings about a lot of creepy behaviours.
But then again, what is sweet and what is creepy? I think a lot of it depends on our superficial tendencies as human beings. You may not agree and think that it is shallow, but I believe that we tend to subconsciously give the benefit of the doubt to attractive people.
So let’s go through a few scenarios and in each one, there is one guy who is conventionally attractive, i.e. totally cute / hot / gorgeous / whatever rocks your boat and the other is someone whose physical appearance is unattractive to you. What would be a girl’s typical thoughts on each one of them? (And by “girl”, I mean I’m stereotyping and overgeneralising the entire female population.)
I am actually copying the style of Douglas Lim from his article on thoughts that go through his mind when people give backhanded compliments. I will provide the link to his article at the bottom of this post. It’s really funny, I love it. I should probably clarify that the content of his article is non-offensive, entertaining and completely different from mine. So, even if you dislike mine, I encourage you to check his out.
I need to include another disclaimer that the following content is satirical and intended for entertainment purposes only. If you are easily triggered or offended, it may be best not to read any further.
Now back to our article.
He texts you first / every day.
Mr. Attractive — Oh, he is thinking of me. I can’t believe that I’m the first thing on his mind when he wakes up. How sweet and thoughtful!
Mr. Unattractive — What does he want from me? It’s so creepy and annoying. Does he expect me to talk to him everyday?
He texts you after a few days.
Mr. Attractive — OMG, he is finally here! I miss him so much!
Mr. Unattractive — Why is he texting me so often?
He writes a poem or story for you.
Mr. Attractive — This is so romantic! He is so sweet. I think I’m in love.
Mr. Unattractive — This is so creepy! What’s with all the flowery words?
He sends you a YouTube music video or sings to you (via calls, videos or audio messages).
Mr. Attractive — He must be trying to confess his feelings for me.
Mr. Unattractive — This is so creepy and embarrassing. How am I supposed to respond to this?
He sends you a selfie.
Mr. Attractive — Gosh, he is so cute! I really like this guy. I should definitely take a cute selfie and send it to him.
Mr. Unattractive — Gosh, he is so creepy! He is not expecting me to send him a selfie in return, is he? <block him>
He asks you for a selfie.
Mr. Attractive — He wants a picture of me! I guess he likes me, too! Should I send a sexy selfie?
Mr. Unattractive — There is no way I’m sending him a picture. What is he going to do with it? Eeeeww. I don’t even want to think about it. What a creep! <block and report him>
He compliments you via text.
Mr. Attractive — Is he thinking of me right now? Does he want me to be his girlfriend? Oh gosh, he is so sweet. I love it when he says things like that. I feel so special. He is making me feel all sorts of things. Am I in love? (Note: It always progresses to sexting as the compliments get more and more sexual with each text but you don’t mind and even look forward to it.)
Mr. Unattractive — Is he staring at my profile picture? That’s so creepy.
He calls you just to chat.
Mr. Attractive — He really likes me! Should I tell him that I am wearing my sexy lingerie? Sigh. His voice is so sexy and he is so hot! I am so lucky, I can’t stop smiling. Oh gosh, he really wants me. I want him so bad. Damn. I feel so hot right now.(Note: The conversation always moves to sexual topics or even cyber sex and that makes you feel like the luckiest girl alive since he is spending time with you and making you feel good.)
Mr. Unattractive — What does this creep want with me? Is he a pervert?
He asks to meet you in person.
Mr. Attractive — OMG, he wants me! Should I get a new matching set of sexy lingerie just in case? What if I’m not good enough for him? I’m so nervous. OMG, this is so exciting.
Mr. Unattractive — OMG, I am definitely not meeting him. What if he is a rapist?
Yet another disclaimer: The purpose of this article is not to imply that all individuals who possess conventional good looks should be labelled as creeps. The intention is to emphasise the importance of avoiding generalisations or stereotypes based solely on physical appearance. Each person should be evaluated and judged based on their character, behaviour, and actions rather than superficial qualities.
Now that we have gotten all the disclaimers out of the way, let’s move on to …..
Discussion for Today’s Topic
For what it’s worth, I believe that conventionally attractive men often get away with a lot of stuff because we allow it. Whether it is online or in real life, our biases towards attractive people tend to give them an unfair advantage. It is almost like we think that they can do no wrong.
I have heard “jokes” about how an unattractive man just needs to stand next to you (without doing anything else) for you to be creeped out. But seriously, attractiveness does not determine someone’s character. Both attractive and unattractive individuals can be good people, and it is important to recognise that both groups can also engage in inappropriate behaviours (online or in real life).
So, how do we break free from this mindset of stereotyping? I believe that it is up to us to be less superficial and look beyond appearances by truly getting to know someone before we judge them. We must be discerning and not let someone’s looks blind us to their actions and intentions. We need to put aside our own biases and assumptions based on stereotypes and start looking at each person as an individual. This way, we can create a more inclusive environment online and in real life.
Here is the link to Douglas Lim’s article as mentioned earlier.
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