If You Want to Move Your Life Forward, You Must Be Willing to Let Go of What’s Holding You Back

Let go of your limiting beliefs.

Events throughout my life have taught me that sometimes, holding on does much more damage than letting go. Holding on becomes a heavy burden that leaves you aching with scars and blisters. And yet, we hold on to so much in life.

We hold on to memories and emotions — good and bad. We hold on to grudges even though they serve us no good. We hold on to what we don’t want instead of freeing our thoughts to focus on what we do want.

In Psychology Today, self-sabotaging behavior is defined as “any self-inflicted behavior that creates problems in daily life and interferes with long-standing goals.” It is fair to say then that holding on is a form of self-sabotage and letting go is a form of self-liberation.

A year and a half ago, I felt “stuck” in a job I didn’t want to be in, in a city I didn’t want to live in, daydreaming about what my life would look like in a parallel universe. I knew I wanted to pave a path that was my own, but I wasn’t sure how.

It was only when I arrived at the realization that we have finite energy, and every collection of thought, action, and belief consumes our energy rather than conserves it, that I began to accept a new reality: If I am to move my life forward, I must be willing to let go of what’s holding me back — only then can I become “unstuck.”

“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.”― André Gide

If you want to sail into the open sea, you must let go of the anchors that lock you in the harbor. If you want to discover what lies in the deep end of the ocean, you must let go of the shore’s comfort. If you want to move your life forward, you must be willing to let go of what’s holding you back.

Letting go draws the wind into your sails. It liberates you to dream, imagine, and create. That said, here are the five things you must let go of in order to change the course of your life.

1. Let Go of the Fear of Discomfort

Many people think fear is something they must completely get rid of. That’s impossible because your brain is wired to keep you safe.

Whenever you begin to feel overwhelmed by a certain situation, such as the will to try something new, the amygdala that sits in the limbic system of the brain automatically triggers a fight (resistance) or flight (ignore) reaction.

And if you’re not conscious of this response, you will always fall back in fear, shying away from any change that breeds discomfort. It’s no wonder why we always end up procrastinating.

So the reality is this: Fear lives in you. It is dormant until you have the idea to try something that actually interests you. That’s what lights the spark and sets your fear on fire.

“You will either step forward into growth, or you will step backward into safety.” — Abraham Maslow

So how do you let go of fear? You learn how to conquer it.

You lean into your biggest fear and take action towards it. You embrace the discomfort knowing that there is no growth void of it. You make fear your friend, not your enemy. And the more steps you take in the direction of your fear, the more fearless you become.

2. Let Go of Self-doubt

Like fear, self-doubt is also an indicator. It’s not something we can escape, it’s something we must accept and learn how to cope with. Hang on to it and it will lock you down in the abyss of inaction. Let go of it and it will liberate the artist in you to go out, imagine, and create.

When you lean in and listen to the voice inside your head that runs in circles around all day whispering “you’re not good enough, you’re going to fail,” you’re fuelling power to your self-doubt.

The only antidote to that is self-belief.

You can weather the storm when it hits. You can adjust your sails when the wind blows. You can find a way when the obstacles mount.

You have to believe in your ability to figure things out. In fact, this is what fuels real self-confidence.

“If you hear a voice within you say ‘you cannot paint,’ then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.” — Vincent Van Gogh

Self-believe is the light that sparks your confidence.

Let go of the past and its power over you and accept that you are a student for life who knows a lot but still has so much more to learn.

3. Let go of The Need for Approval

I believe that the happiest life we can live in is a life where we live our truth.

And a life of truth is built upon three pillars: Live purposefully, compare yourself to no one but yourself, and ignore the doubters. In essence, these three pillars come back to the importance of letting go of the need for approval from others.

So stop comparing yourself to people you’ve never met. Stop comparing your chapter one to someone’s chapter twenty. Stop comparing yourself to anyone else or any fabricated expectation of ‘this is how it’s supposed to be’— it isn’t.

The only person you should compare yourself to is you.

“The art of knowing is knowing what to ignore… Ignore those that make you fearful and sad, that degrade you back towards disease and death.” — Rumi

Ignore the haters and the doubters. There will be people that will criticize everything you do. Realize that their words and actions are a reflection of their own wounds and insecurities — not yours.

Choose to be true to what you believe in, live life on your own terms, and let go of everything else.

4. Let go of Limiting Beliefs

“The garden of the world has no limits, except in your mind.” — Rumi

If you were to tell me that after my fourth month of wiring, my articles would reach over 100,000 views per month, I would’ve told you that’s not possible.

But here’s a question for you: “What’s possible?”

In 1969, Neil Armstrong defied the impossible by becoming the first man to ever set foot on the moon. In 2019, in Vienna, Eliud Kipchoge defied the impossible by breaking the two-hour marathon barrier with a 1:59:40 finish. In 2001, Erik Weihenmayer defied the impossible by becoming the first blind person to reach the summit of Mount Everest.

Every person you look up to started at zero. They started exactly where you are. They saw the possibility of where you want to go, and they worked for it.

There are a lot of things that can seem impossible in your life. Truth is, they aren’t impossible — you just think they are.

“Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right”. — Henry Ford

A limiting belief is an idea that we have about ourselves or life that blocks us from achieving what it is we truly want to achieve. Learn how to let go and break free from them.

Re-write the script and change the story you tell yourself for it can truly change your life.

5. Let go of The Need to Have it all Now

Once I let go of my fear, self-doubt, the need for approval, and my limiting beliefs, I was free to start walking in the direction that I please. But it wasn’t until I let go of my need to “have it all now” that I truly began to see transformative change in my life.

I realized that we rush toward our goals and expect immediate results because we think and act like life is short. But, it’s not. Life is not short — life is long. You make it short when you live life fast, creating an illusion of a necessary rush.

The slower and steadier you work toward your goals, the more sustainable the change will be, the more likely you are to grow and expand in the process of getting there.

So slow down. Let go of the need to have it all now. Let go of the pressure to achieve it all now. What’s with the rush? You have time. Enjoy the journey. Enjoy the process. Leave moments for total satori.

Live by this one day at a time.

What Matters to You: Change Begins From Within

I often go back to my journal and read what I had written the day I decided to quit my job and commit to creating a new reality for myself.

I realize how far away I am today from where I thought I would be, and yet, how close I am today to where I’d like to be. But, more importantly, I recognize the universal truth of life:

Change begins from within because you are your greatest obstacle.

All the things you must let go of in order to see the change you want in your life lies within you. If you first change the inside, the outside will fall into place.

Let go of fear, it holds you back from growth. Let go of self-doubt, it holds you back from creation. Let go of the need for approval, it holds you back from living a life that’s authentically yours.

Let go of your limiting beliefs, they hold you back from seeing all the gardens of possibility. And let go of the need to have it all now, it holds you back from enjoying the slowness of the beautiful and rich journey that is life.

Sign-up to my free weekly newsletter ‘Be, Think, Do Better’ for more articles like this.