The Path To Thy Self

If You Follow The Trail of Darkness You Will Find Your Light

And when you do decide, eternal bliss awaits you on the other side.

Prompt: Do you shine more like the Sun or the Moon? Or something else?

When I was young, I was afraid of the dark. I mean, not in a general way but in a way that I would get goosebumps as soon as the lights were turned off.

And boy, I wanted to run like hell as my life depended on it. Ah, those were the good ol days. I really miss them, but then again, I am already there.

But yes, I was always fascinated with the night sky as a kid, the one with a full moon. I believe I have seen so many shades of the full moon. There is the yellow and bright orangeish that sometimes it would shine.

Those were the nights my companions and I would fly kites in the bright night sky. I remember those days really well. There is especially one night I remember with my friends and even my rival where we flew kites to battle with our neighboring foes.

It was an auspicious night. We had prepared music and kites for that fierce battle. So we flew our kites and used glass wire to cut one of their kites. As soon as we flew one across as it tore through the sky with a swoosh sound. My rival and I, coupled with our mutual friends starting cheering in our caveman hooting.

The night sky with the fragrance of the night-blooming jasmine that grew in my garden and the gentle cool breeze blowing in the night sent a blessed signal to our hearts. The night sky has always played a significant role in my life.

Whether it was these nights spent in celebration and kiteflying. Or whether it was spent me running like hell from the kitchen floor as soon as I fetched a glass of water to quench my midnight thirst.

I have been fond of all those memories really well. Indeed now, as I reminisce about them, it brings a smile to my face. I am sure you can feel the same zest as well.

What really enthralls me about talking about the moon is that in its absence. We are welcomed to the darkness that engulfs the night. It was what contains the night. It was what dispels the day.

It brings a time of peace. And at times panic in the hearts of those who fear it. But the night sky sends another lesson. It brings about intervention within the darkness. I remember half of my childhood was spent basking in the sunlight and enjoying the day.

As night came by, that joy ended to embrace the night sky. But in my teens, my life changed, and so did my appreciation of life. It was when I experienced despair as it is one such thing that lies in the darkness, among other things.

Darkness in itself contains many things, even light. We fear it because we believe that it will take us away. We fear the unknown that lies in it. But I believe darkness and light are but two sides of the same coin.

It just depends on what side you were born into. And what side you were thrown in. We can be raised on either side. But our feelings and perspectives are similar in nature. We can feel on either side, but our appreciation for each will be dependent on how we receive it naturally.

During my teens, I was accustomed to roaming in the darkness. And I believe it was difficult for me to look into the void inside me as well. Before venturing into the unknown, I was always drawn back from the precipice of darkness.

Light eventually pulled me towards its side. It was only once that I took that blind step did I fall into the hold of darkness. And because I had never experienced it. I lost control. I did not know how to seek peace. There was no order that I could not sense.

And thus, my freedom was somewhat stolen from me. Darkness became my prison, of which escape seemed naught. It was only after a while, did I realized that the nether, in reality, was but another doorway.

This realization came after long-fought battles with the foes that laid within darkness. Remember that darkness in nature is not inherently evil. We just attribute it as bad as we contrast it with the unknown.

It just takes you within and lets you stay.

It trades what you want to give up and gives you peace in return. There is the peace that lies within the chaos of the mind, heart, and soul. And it gets difficult to resist such a temptation. Because quite frankly put, you can’t just walk out of it.

And if you do make that choice, you have to give up that peace to leave its aide. I believe that is one of the struggles most people who venture into darkness have to deal with.

The choice to give up the reward darkness gives you. One that even light falls prey to. Because the light in itself remains within darkness.

And I came across many people in my life who possessed a tremendous amount of light. But they were tainted by the malice that rested within darkness.

So the question here is, is darkness all that bad?

From someone who has lived on the other side, I believe striving for a balance matters in your life. I remember someone who had tremendous darkness within him. He unlike many, I came across, was tainted by the malice that resided within darkness.

But he still had his conscious mind intact. One fortnight, while sitting across one another. He said to me while lighting up a cigar.

“You don’t deserve to be here. You don’t deserve this. You are not meant to rot here. You still have time to get out. I suggest you take it before you stay here forever.”

I remembered I could feel his sincerity as we both shared insight into the gifts darkness had given us. Though our experiences had varied. He understood the light that deserved to be out in the open, free from the malice that remained in my heart buried.

I asked him,

“how do I get out? I have been trying for years but to no avail.

I feel like I belong here.”

He said to me while taking a deep inhale of the bud.

“you will — just follow the trail of darkness and learn. The choice will present itself in time.”

In that mere exchange of a moment, I realized what had been missing. I was not following those who frequently visited both sides. I learned to follow those people who pulled people into darkness from the light.

And in doing so, learning from them, I finally one day came outside. For the first time in years, I felt in control of my own willpower. I felt free. And afterward, I used that knowledge to help the tainted break free from their prisons.

I was able to show them a better way(a second chance) and reverse what the malice had done to them. I came across darkness quite a while after that. It wasn’t a win-win per se. It was more like one day down, ten more to go.

And since then, I have walked a balanced path, finding myself more learning about my thoughts. I use my experiences to decipher my own machinations of the mind and soul. I have used these skills to help people find their way as well.

In short, I learned to flaunt my darkness within the light and vice-versa. It isn’t that hard once you hone yourself. There is always a way. You just have to look at it a certain way.

Once you get that down, the road to self-fulfillment is a broad and rewarding one. And there is more to you than you will ever know, but you can only know of it.

If you choose to take a blind leap and stumble into darkness. As your light follow you wherever you go. You are never alone. The darkness and light within you are searching to connect you with your inner self.

You just have to make the effort of accepting that there is one deep inside. And when you do realize, the how. Everything else will answer itself in time.

Persevere and Stay Safe!