If You Could Live Your Life Once More…

Would you do everything exactly the same?

I remember this phrase mainly from a catchy German glasses commercial from the '90s.

Two men, one in his 30's, one older, sitting by a lake. The younger one would ask this very question. The older man would reply: “Not quite. I’d buy my glasses from Fielmann from the very beginning.”

This might be a catchy marketing pun, but I’m sure we all asked ourselves at one point or another, what we’d do differently. We all have made some mistakes we’d like to undo. People we’d like to avoid.

Some might want to grab a heart and confess their undying love to a crush who they later learned will move out of their life before they get the chance to do so.

I too made many mistakes in my life. I made many wrong decisions. I went all-in and picked the wrong cards. But after thinking long and hard about it, I’ve come to a final conclusion. One that might be surprising.

I would not change a single thing

Of course, I could ask my dad to buy stocks from Microsoft, Apple and Amazon, knowing that these three grow huge in time. We could be rich.

And knowing now how important a good education really is, I could undo my error of being lazy and unfocused. The kid who drifted from class to class, sleeping instead of learning, not knowing what he’d like to become when he grows up. I could undo all that with a little effort.

And now that I learned how easy it is to make friends by just being open, honest, confident and smiling, I could grow from a shy outsider to the star of every group. I could become popular.

I could start working out from an early age, where my body would adapt quickly. I could overwrite the bad habit of not working out enough before I even started developing it.

I could avoid all these negative experiences. I could avoid dating the girl who’d later cheat on me, breaking my faith in love for almost a decade.

I could do many things. But I would not. Why?

Because where I am right now, with my amazing wife and the most beautiful daughter I could have ever hoped for, that’s where I belong.

I could do all these things. But with each one, my chance at finding my wife again would shrink. There’s no guarantee that she’d even talk to me if I’d transform into someone completely different before we meet.

Because that guy who took all the wrong paths? That’s the guy she met and fell in love with. A different me just wouldn’t cut it.

I could remember the exact place and time we met and try to repeat all the steps. But I feel like I would fail. And our daughter? Even if it would all work out until this point, who’d guarantee that my wife would get pregnant again with the same beautiful girl I’m looking at right now?

Of course, any child she’d bear would turn out as beautiful as little Kaina (慧奈 read: Kay-Na). But even if it sounds harsh: I wouldn’t want a different child. I’d want my little Kaina back.

So that’s my final thought on it. All these wrong paths turned out to be the only right one in the end for me. I wouldn’t want to be rich, handsome, popular or anything else, if I had to trade in my wife and girl for it.

I would not want to change a single thing

Kevin is an editor and writer for the ILLUMINATION publication. Follow him on Twitter and LinkedIn.

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