If You Admire a Woman, Tell Her

And love will travel back to you

We all admire some women for who they are. How gracefully they handle their multitasking lives, single motherhoods, singledom, or simply, how they hold on to hopes and dreams that give them a sense of being.

But seriously, how often — if ever — do we go round and knock at each other’s doors, saying, hey, I really admire you the way you are and do stuff?

The endless competition

In our world of crippling competition and battleground mentality, we often lose sight of ourselves. We’re so absorbed by the constant pressure to succeed whichever way we turn. There’s the perfect job to create, the relationship to build and keep, the golden future to envision, and maybe children to raise into smart brains. An endless list.

And then, wistfully, there’s also the burden of competing with each other — particularly, with another woman.

While we post model versions of ourselves on social media platforms, shining our best and happiest, we’re often just like water-deprived flowers. Thirsty for the very ingredient that nurtures and keeps us growing. Sadly, the appreciation we seek from other women we often can’t reciprocate, leave alone wrap around ourselves.

And that’s where we need to begin.

Let’s face what we’ve lost

You deserve that appreciation as much as every other woman. More than ever. The world is going up in flames with massive male-dominated egoism attempting to slash its way through the day-to-day jungle of madness and decay. And we got so used to it, to crudity, hostility, dominance, elbow-fighting, and the pathetic bush drumming.

It’s almost as if we’ve started wearing this attire to play our part in a sense-deflated battle.

What happened to all the beautiful qualities that make us — bonding, sisterhooding, sharing, empowering, mentoring, and holding a safe space for each other that’s so uniquely ours? Rather, we’ve joined the relentless rat race with no end in sight.

Let’s remake ourselves

Telling a woman — in all sincerity — that you admire her starts with yourself. For who you are and what you do or don’t do in life. It leads us to a universal truth: no two lives are ever identical. And while we strive for something another woman may already have achieved, we need to question our motivation.

Do we feel like losers just because we think we can’t get there? Or do we resent the other woman’s success just for the sake of it?

Once we understand the uniqueness of each and everyone’s path and that we’re here to deal and heal with what we’ve been presented with, the coin drops.

If you can look yourself into the eye and tell yourself, “I love you,” you see a woman irrespective of what she has or hasn’t yet accomplished. A woman who tells another woman, “I love you.” And this person is you.

We see so much suffering in the world today that arises from a totally debased struggle that we’ve mostly and often unknowingly joined. An uneven match that has turned many of us into copies of men and at such lousy quality that we will eventually stumble.

So, it seriously is time that we step back (not physically) and look at ourselves. And smear that love and admiration on to each other to allow the beautiful powers we have been bestowed with to blossom.

Let’s just remember one thing here: for every woman you tell you admire her, there’s surely one admiring and telling you. And in case you need more, you may want to check out a sisterhood—a network of women of all walks of life who uplift and support each other on their paths.

I just met my mirror, btw. I heard myself utter a few words in an affirming voice. “I love you” (and something more). And guess what?

Someone actually smiled back!

Thank you for reading.

If you are interested to read more of my writings, you may enjoy the following one.