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d over the phone like I was?</p><p id="da3a" type="7">How about this: Try to picture Ivanka, the object of her creepy father’s even creepier lust, punching a time clock! That will happen around the same time I start flying jets.</p><p id="709d">Maybe I’m being overly sensitive. I mean, if I could make my own sea salt while basking under the Mediterranean sun, wouldn’t I bleat about it later? Shit, no. I would not.</p><p id="1c29">So you know, the column’s focus was on scent and how it evokes particular memories. Here is the passage that set me off:</p><p id="d741"><i>When I was in Spain this summer, we sun-dried our own sea salt in Majorca, then went to a little shop near where we ate dinner to buy flor de sal harvested from the same Ses Salines salt flats. When I popped open the can — later back at home, my kids shouted, “it smells like Majorca!”</i></p><p id="c3f4">“Gee, kids! How cool is that? Know what? Get outta here”</p><p id="d35c">For those of us who don’t vacation in Majora, <i>flor de sal</i> means Salt Flower. Now, is it me, or is this type of self-important strutting gag-worthy?</p><p id="0c73">I’m not so offended by the message as much as I am by the way it was conveyed. As if the messenger had no clue of the disparity around her and the reality that people are struggling to make ends meet, for God’s sake. Struggling to feed themselves and their families. Working for minimum wage.</p><p id="051d">I get that this magazine is about beauty, not our country’s economy but all I can say is, the salaries must be pretty damned good.</p><p id="22b4">We, as writers, understand that words are powerful and the <i>way</i> in which we say things is as important, or maybe more so, as <i>what</i> we’re putting out into the world. I’ve learned this particular lesson the hard way. More than once.</p><p id="d5bd">Admittedly, I’m particularly sensitive in that I haven’t received an actual paycheck in almost two years. And I’m better than that. Much better, yet I can’t seem to catch a break. So, where someone else might read the editorial and think of it as “aspirational,” I think, “WTF?” Just as I do when I see TV commercials touting luxury automobiles as holiday gifts. What world are we living in?</p><p id="8d58">This is what doesn’t compute: While the editor raves about her kids raving about Majorca, there are other, less privileged children starving in this country. Their parents would love to afford a bus ticket, let alone a first-class airline ticket to Spain.</p><p id="f2ee">A little empathy for others, folks. That’s all I’m asking.</p><p id="184a">According to <i>nokidhungry.org</i>, in the United States, one in seven children lives with hungry. The bigger picture: According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA), more than eleven hundred children in our country live in “food insecure homes,” which means the family members don’t get enough to eat in order to live in a manner that’s deemed “healthy.”</p><p id="7845">Maybe the editor should set her cannister of DIY sea salt aside and chew on these stats:</p><p id="1300"><b>Over 4.5 million U.S. kids live in food deserts and lack access to grocery stores with fresh fruits and vegetables.</b></p><p id="742e"><b>On average, children in rural areas are more likely to experience food insecurity and lack access to quality health services.</b></p><p id="7f6a"><b>Close to 1 in 3 American children are overweight or obese, and obesity in children has more than tripled over the past 35 years, putting children at higher risk for serious, even life-threatening health problems.</b></p><p id="a02e"><b>In communities where Save the Children works, an average of 59 percent of children do not have access to fresh, healthy foods; in some areas, it’s as much as 98 percent.</b></p><p id="bc2d">Here’s more self-satisfied bunk from the editorial:</p><p id="c1b6"><i>In (country), last summer, my daughter and I treated ourselves one afternoon to tea at the (uber-luxe) hotel. Now, the scent of not only jasmine tea but also jasmine fragrances brings me half a world away to that fancy dining room, nibbling on tiny sandwiches

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and cakes.</i></p><p id="0408">Again, maybe I’m being unfair and bristly. But the manner in which this was written is offensive, in my humble opinion. Plus, the older I get, the less idiocy I can tolerate.</p><p id="712b">Maybe if she’d included some type of giveaway to the first fifty readers who wrote back via email, describing their favorite scents and what they evoked for them. Jasmine fragrance oil could be the giveaway. I don’t know.</p><p id="7d81">Perhaps this editor should stick to writing about lip conditioners and designer perfumes and the wonders of glycolic acid. Meanwhile, if the craving for a “tiny cake” should come upon her, she could always shove a Twinkie up her bum.</p><p id="444c">I’d like to thank <a href="undefined">Helen Cassidy Page</a> for her input here. She gave me the virtual slap upside the head that I needed. But, sweetly.</p><p id="6d7e"><i>Sherry McGuinn is a slightly-twisted, longtime Chicago-area writer and award-winning screenwriter. Her work has appeared in The Chicago Tribune, Chicago Sun-Times and numerous other publications. Sherry’s manager is currently pitching her newest screenplay, a drama with dark, comedic overtones and inspired by a true story.</i></p><p id="2284">As always, I appreciate your reading. If you’re up for more:</p><div id="974d" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/haiku-how-to-51d0685c1ad6"> <div> <div> <h2>Haiku How-To</h2> <div><h3>A primer for the sexually inquisitive.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*yQwyx3SGkE3-oZlWW1dC9g.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="654f" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/did-i-fail-my-mother-3323d4907780"> <div> <div> <h2>Did I Fail My Mother?</h2> <div><h3>All the things I should have said, and didn’t.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*IBboE8lKu9O0Q4Ga0aEGhQ.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="9067" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/the-hot-women-of-medium-c66515ba6bbe"> <div> <div> <h2>The Hot Women of Medium</h2> <div><h3>Smart, funny, gutsy and SMOKIN’!</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*sUDy3LYDjjZKQqXsMfyptQ.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="1a63" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/ive-never-received-1k-claps-b1dd0d9c56b9"> <div> <div> <h2>I’ve Never Received 1K Claps</h2> <div><h3>Wounded…and wondering.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*zAfXUminR_ELCNKW8Ppsgw.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="11fc" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/its-official-i-m-an-a-hole-347624d73cd7"> <div> <div> <h2>It’s Official: I’m an A-Hole</h2> <div><h3>“Medium Madness” has me by the throat.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*r4v7h4lCPyj7liblwp-GNQ.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

If He Has A Chance With You, Let Him Know, And Here’s Why

It’s okay to let him know to shoot his shot.

Photo by Rodnae Productions (Pexels)

On a typical day at the grocery or retail store, I always end up chatting with another customer, sometimes women but usually a man. Not intentional, it just happens. I just have one of those personalities. It’s just conversation, a joke or two, you know, while we are there. Nothing more.

Now, if he is someone I would enjoy getting to know, I always wonder what’s best: being direct in some way that I am interested in knowing him better, should I just used non-verbals that will give him a hint (direct eye contact, smile, etc.) or a joke or two.

For a long time, I have wondered why for me, is just the conversation with the men, but nothing more. Most times it doesn’t go further. I’m always presentable, easy to connect with and talk to, and it is easily understood that I am not some random chick.

Now, let me be clear, those times when I was blunt but tactful, men would respond. But I just didn’t want to always be the one speaking up. I want to be engaged.

However, if I receive attention from a guy over the last (very long time), it’s usually some off-the-wall request to be a “friend” or a whack line after he seemed to have fooled me with a decent conversation.

Am I giving off that side-chick type of vibe?

Totally not. So for a decent amount of time, I had stopped being the one to start any conversations, even though that is my jam. It was even suggested that women give off an ora to attract a certain type of man.

I found that to be odd because at no time do I give vibes to be anyone’s side chick or just to meet up, however, I had been approached in this manner. I believe some men just try an angle to see if it will stick.

Now that years have gone by, dated a few more men and found that they seem to be on a different level than I am, I wanted to begin a different approach. Allow men to strike up a conversation with me, so that I know that they were the ones interested and not me chatting it up and them just joining the small talk.

So, here I am, give the non-verbals in hopes he sees my quiet signals and….crickets. I smile, I’m courteous and I am well-groomed. I’m still thinking that, hell, maybe they just aren’t into me. If they are, they will speak up.

But here is my take on it now…

We all have our preferences and many of my physical traits may not be what dudes are in search of: natural hair, browner skin tone, thick in the middle, glasses when necessary, you know, all of the beautiful things. Of course, we like what we like, and thank goodness I am okay with me, inside and out.

However, I recently had a conversation with a good friend that had me realize (which I have come to terms with) that most men are looking for the ultimate. I mean the Coke-bottle shape, lighter skin tones, long hair (theirs or purchased), etc. Remember, I am speaking of my experiences.

So, why not let men know they have a chance with you if they are interested? Here are 3 reasons that you should:

1). These days, I am on that path, giving guys the notion to shoot their shot, if they are interested. It is time out waiting on someone to run to us. Starting those conversations are those icebreakers most people need, especially if it is the guy you are attracted to. I don’t picture a wedding or a ring viewing men and planning a wedding when I am speaking to you. I’m just saying hello, and if you are someone I want to know, I may keep chatting with you, so why not? Now if it goes further, maybe go on a date and I want to oblige, I will and it is a win-win.

2). I truly believe that because we are all human, men are a bit nervous to approach some women probably almost as much as women wonder if he will shoot his shot with her. I can appreciate that. I am so turned off anytime I hear men brag about how they just pick up women in an instance as if we fall to their feet as soon as they inhale for the day.

I have experienced in my random conversations with men that they seem to enjoy someone reaching out to them with something kind, intriguing or funny thing to say. That smile, most even appreciate.

We don’t have to be so serious and straight to the “can I have your number” line. Just live a little while you’re chatting to even see if you want to continue the connection.

3). Men may just appreciate your confidence! It takes confidence to start up conversations with men in hopes it would give them the notion that you are interested without being totally direct. I usually use jokes or gentle sarcasm. Most men seem to enjoy that you are not a steady question box. I am sure they want variety while you’re talking.

Not quite ready to be direct with men; maybe I will get there at some point. I promise (note to self). However, the plan is to keep engaging, keep conversing, and giving positive vibes in hopes I meet someone who is a great someone.

I am so excited about my newfound plan of living as it pertains to outwardly showing interest in the men I meet. Not sure how easy it will be, but it will definitely give me a sense of growth in this area. We will see what happens.

Ladies, how do you let men know that they can surely shoot their shot?

Gentlemen, how do you prefer a woman to let you know that she is interested in you? non-verbals, verbals, etc

I can’t wait to hear…

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