avatarLee Serpa Azevado

Summary

The author, Lee, reflects on personal experiences with avoidance, commitment, and the challenges faced during the pandemic, while humorously critiquing Freudian psychology and offering a tongue-in-cheek guide to overcoming avoidance.

Abstract

In a candid and humorous piece, the author shares insights into their own tendencies to avoid commitment and confronting emotions, particularly in the face of significant life events such as the COVID-19 pandemic, the breakdown of a long-term relationship, and custody battles. Lee juxtaposes personal anecdotes with a satirical take on Freudian psychology, poking fun at the profession's stereotypes and the concept of Freudian slips. The narrative transitions into a mock self-help guide, the "A-B-C of avoiding avoidant behaviours," which humorously advocates for confronting problems directly and avoiding self-deception, while also emphasizing the importance of not being an arsehole, not succumbing to others' bullshit, and not wasting time on trivialities.

Opinions

  • The author uses humor to mask and reveal their discomfort with discussing their own avoidance issues.
  • Lee expresses skepticism about the practicality of Freudian psychology, suggesting it lacks empirical support.
  • The breakdown of the author's relationship and the impact of the pandemic on their professional and personal life are presented with a mix of vulnerability and levity.
  • The author values personal growth and self-awareness, as indicated by their return to the psychology department for professional development.
  • Lee's guide to overcoming avoidance, while comedic, underscores the importance of honesty, self-reflection, and direct engagement with one's problems.
  • The author's opinion of avoidance is clear: it is a maladaptive strategy that ultimately leads nowhere.

I Wouldn’t Say I’m Avoiding Commitment

But then again, I wouldn’t say I’m not

Photo by Gratisography from Pexels

Rest assured I’m not the kind of writer to go off on a tangential train of thought just to avoid dealing with my emotions, actually, come to think of it a funny thing happened to me the other day, this guy walks up to me on the street and says, “Hey dude, did you know that a boat full of psychologists is called a Freudian ship?”

Please raise your hand if you think I’m an idiot

Thank you very much, acceptance is the first step to recovery

If you’re feeling as confused about this story as I am, just remember two things, first of all, I’m the one writing this nonsense, secondly, be grateful for the fact you’re not as avoidant as I am, and thirdly, at least you’re not as bad at math as I am.

I know what you’re thinking, “Lee, why the hell are you putting off talking about the subject of avoidance?”

Look, I’ll be honest with you, over the last couple of years, at times I’ve been as avoidant as a conscionable Trump voter on Election Day; of late I’ve blamed my avoidance on the fact I was struck down with COVID back in April, then I blamed the fact that — God only knows how the fuck this happened — I found myself in charge of a psych admissions ward in the midst of a global pandemic, then I avoided the fact my relationship of 4 years broke down during lockdown, and then as if I hadn’t surrounded myself with enough bullshit excuses, I then blamed my avoidance on my ongoing 5-year battle to simply be a parent to my kids.

Now that I’m no longer in sole charge of a bunch of raving lunatics, I’m now able to return to my pre-COVID place of professional development, personal transformation and general charlatanry; the place that all good-hearted, burnt-out nurses go, the psychology department. I once had a therapist who used to be a prostitute, she blew my mind.

There’s so much to learn from working with a team of psychological therapists, only the other day, one of them was telling me that they’d recently been on some new-fangled Stockholm Syndrome training course, and how at first they thought it was a waste of time, but then they loved it.

I know what you’re thinking — “Lee, how many Freudian psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?”

I’ll have you know it takes two, one to change it and one to hold the penis, sorry, the father, sorry, the ladder, anyway, for anyone that doesn’t know, a Freudian slip is when you say one thing and mean your mother. My problem with Freudian psychology is that none of his hypotheses are testicle against empirical evidence.

Look, I’ve been meaning to say this for ages, avoidance gets you nowhere, no joke.

I know what you’re thinking — “Lee, this is all very well, but how does one avoid being avoidant in a world full of absolute fucking chaos?”

Here’s my very own A-B-C of avoiding avoidant behaviours:

A is for arseholes

  1. If you have to avoid something, avoid arseholes, not emotions
  2. Some arseholes are like problems, they don’t go away if you don’t address them
  3. At all costs, avoid being an arsehole

B is for Bullshit

  1. Never live someone else's bullshit
  2. If you absolutely have to, bullshit other people, but never bullshit yourself
  3. Any advice that advocates avoidance is absolute bullshit

C is for C U Next Tuesday

  1. Life’s too short for learning Cuntonese, avoid that bullshit like the plague, sorry, the pandemic, sorry the penis, sorry, the propensity to go off on a tangent and talk absolute bollocks, “Pavlov? He rings a bell!”
  2. Accept the fact that much like life, some lists are far too short.

“Avoidance of the use of bras as a face mask to stay abreast of corona cases only ever results in us looking like a tit” — Lee Serp Azeva-who?

Satire
Humor
Life Lessons
This Happened To Me
Psychology
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