REAL STORY

I Went to a Group Sex Party in NYC and It Wasn’t Like I What Expected

These parties are about consent, boundaries, being true, and liberating yourself.

Today I want to share 3 lessons that I learned after I went to my first play party experience in New York City. This is about 2 weeks ago now.

A play party is basically an experience where you can go. Ideally is about,

• Consent,
• Boundaries,
• Being able to do whatever it is that you feel comfortable with,
• Exploring your own Eroticism in your edges,
• Images in the presence of other people who are also there to play,
• And to experience their sexuality in their own way.

This particular play party that I went to was in New York City.

I was there for the final weekend because I was in the School of Womanly Arts Mastery Program.

I and a bunch of my girlfriends who are also in the program decided to go to a play party.

This particular play party was also a mermaid party so you dress up accordingly. I just wore some really beautiful lingerie and sexy stockings.

I learned a few things while I was at this play party that I didn’t quite expect to learn. It was an amazing experience that opened me up in so many ways.

Make sure that you stay tuned for this whole experience because I’m going to share these three lessons with you.

Ideally, most parties are really about getting to go and explore yourself. If you want to engage with other people the huge focus on consent, boundaries, permission, and really honoring your own body, your own heart, your own soul.

I listened to my p*ssy which is tap into my heart, my soul the whole time.

Let’s go ahead and get into 3 lessons that I learned at this play party.

Why I Went to an Orgy?

Actually, before I get into the first lesson let me just share really quickly what my intention was going in.

I actually had never been to a play party before.

I didn’t even know what to expect and something that I did before even went in was I checked in with myself and really listened.

What is it that I would like to explore at a play party?

At this stage in my life, I’m a new mom, I have a partner. We are at this time monogamous with one another. It’s a beautiful sacred partnership that we have Primally, sexually, emotionally, and spiritually all completely aligned.

I feel very protective of this stage this season this cycle of my life, my little family. I really didn’t want to connect with anyone else sexually.

I did enjoy some central connections which I’ll share about.

For me, it was not about exploring with others in terms of having sexual experiences with them which I think that you can go in with totally different intentions.

My intention was to go to this play party, follow what would actually feel good for me, and practice saying no.

Really practice my boundaries of No.

“I don’t want this, No, no, no.”

Being able to say no and not feel weird about it. Being able to honor myself when it felt good.

Before I even went to the party I called my partner and we had a conversation.

Because I knew right out of the gate that I did not want to have any kind of sensual or sexual experiences with men beyond just like kind of witnessing each other or being around each other.

I did not want any men touching me.

I did not want to engage with any man essentially or sexually.

Based on the experience they had the night before which will be the fair totally different story was kind of it’s somewhat of a play party the night before but it wasn’t really called that.

I guess maybe this is considered my second run into the play party.

Anyways, the night before was just a whole experience for those of us who are in Mama Regena’s course. We got together in an Airbnb and we had a lot of central experiences together

We’re giving each other massages, We were dancing together, There were some other things happening which I will share for another time maybe if you’re lucky.

Just based on that experience.

How it was engaging with my sisters? How we were all exploring each other, with touch, with consent, with dance, with cuddling?

and that kind of stuff.

I wanted to make sure that we were just totally on the same page about what our vision was for our relationship in terms of.

What is OK to do with another woman? What is located with another man?

We just set those boundaries beforehand.

Going into it my boundary was really I want to be in my own eroticism, my own pleasure, and sensuality.

I want to practice saying no and stand up for myself which actually feels good.

If I do want to explore something then I’m going to be honest about that and allow myself to do that. It kinda already had this sense of what I would be open to.

Shame and Trauma

The first thing that it really showed me is I personally still hold shame and trauma around my own sexuality.

It showed me some judgments, It showed me where I’m not in full ownership of my own body, my own consent, and permission.

Not saying no in fear of coming across as like a b*tch sounding rude.

They were just moments where people were touching without consent which is not the norm at a party from my understanding.

But there was one person who was touching me when I did not give him permission. I noticed that I was afraid to say “no” sometimes because I was worried that I’m gonna sound like a b*tch.

This really showed an exposed a lot of my wounds and my shadows around my own source of sexual shame around some traumas that I still have around both men and women. It just exposed and excavated some really deep dark stuff which I wouldn’t really expect.

I did notice myself at times coming into judgment about myself of like,

Oh, you shouldn’t be wanting to do more. You’re a sex coach. What’s wrong with you! Why do you only want to go in and have more central encounters with women? Why don’t you want to engage with others in this way? Why do you want to do this?

It was my inner credit that came in.

It was really judging you heavily. Because of the work that I do but the work that I do is about really honoring yourself honoring your own boundaries.

Knowing that we have sexual cycles and seasons I’m not always going to feel this way when I’m no longer breastfeeding, my daughter is older, my partner and I have been together for X amount of years.

Maybe we do want to shake things up and maybe not. I have no way of knowing where I’m going to be in the future sexually with myself and my partner.

I just notice that I was becoming extremely judgmental. I did have some shame coming up with.

Is it OK to watch other people have sex? Is it OK to to want this or not want this?

I just noticed a lot of shame.

Even some at times as much as I hate to admit this a little bit of judgment towards other people and then had to snap myself out.

Who do you think you are to judge these people? They’re totally freely expressed.

— I know that.

That’s coming from a part of me that still holds shame.

Because I was shaming myself I wanted to kind of shame others in away. This just brought about a whole new level of awareness to my own shame, my own trauma.

I got to sit with it and breathe through it. Then choose whether I was going to not necessarily push or force through it.

Allow my sisters and even mentally through their witnessing but not touching me or engaging with me in that way.

Allowing this whole experience to kind of be the salve the medicine that was healing me and bringing back to a state of wholeness in myself that I could feel comfortable with my no.

That I could stand probably in my know and say no when someone offered to

• Give me a massage,
• Ask me if I wanted to engage in some of the groups X

It was so beautiful to see all of us doing her own thing.

I see my sisters, my friends unleashing themselves based on their own intentions. Experiencing our sexuality whether it was with ourselves or each other and other people that were there it was so enlightening.

That’s the first thing that I learned.

Erotic Edges

The second thing is that it introduced me to erotic edges which I wasn’t really ready to meet or explore quite yet at this particular play party.

It also showed me the importance of dancing with our own erotic edges. Erotic edge to me is just kind of this thing that feels a little bit out of reach it feels it feels quite uncomfortable.

It’s an edge that you have in your erratic life in your sexuality with yourself.

For me one of my erotic edges was Shibari.

At this play party that had different things. In the beginning, they did is a really beautiful ritual.

They talked about consent.

It wasn’t just like everybody came in and started doing things.

It was an opening a really beautiful opening ritual. Where we got to stroke these naked women with roses if we wanted to.

It was all about honoring them and honoring ourselves.

They gave us a really beautiful deep talk on consent and permission. What they would consider OK or not OK in terms of being around other people who are all being in their own sexual exploration together.

Then they had a mattress is down for those who did want to engage in other practices. They had shibari which is rope bondage. They had a massage table with different toys. They had a man and a woman they were in a partnership that we’re doing the massages together. They had a hot tub upstairs. They had a bar you could dance. They had just areas where you could kind of commune without necessarily. It is in the main sexual area I guess.

For me one of the erotic edges was I really wanted to explore the Shabari but at the same time, I was just not ready to do it.

I honestly have no idea. I’m still kind of sitting with why that was.

The guy who is giving the shibari was actually tying the women up. This was all based on consent as well. I was watching him engage with the woman who’s touching them in other ways.

Obviously, he had a conversation with each woman before. They gave the OK to him on what was OK.

For me when I was watching I was just thinking,

“I don’t want him licking my nipples or thrusting into any kind of I don’t want.”

I basically just wanted to tie me up but not touch me in any other way.

Because one of my intentions for healing before going into the party was, I just don’t want other men touching me, I just don’t want that.

That’s not what I feel comfortable with.

Didn’t turn me on the thought of someone else touching me in that way actually did not turn me on.

That takes me back to the first thing was I was feeling shame about that. I was feeling ashamed that I wasn’t more turned on by certain things I thought I would be in theory.

Honestly, it could just be because I’m breastfeeding. It could just be because of the cycle in the season I’m in.

It’s all about releasing the judgment.

The edge for me was I did want to try the Shibari but I just wasn’t ready. I just didn’t execute on it for whatever reason.

One of my friends was tided and it looked so liberating for her.

It is something that I do want to explore soon. Who knows where I’ll end up. Shibari is definitely something I want to try. The rope, bondage even other forms of bondage. I got to meet this side of myself who was like,

Yeah, I really love to be dominated.

Maybe even by another man in the future. I don’t know or whoever is doing the tying. It just didn’t feel like something that I was quite ready for. I got introduced to this desire but I wasn’t ready to execute on it.

Consent as the Pillar

The third thing is that it opened me up to a whole new world of pleasure, worship, and play with consent as the central pillar.

I did have some really beautiful essential experiences that involved,

• I got spanked with roses and rubbed with roses.
• My ass being worshipped by almost everyone.

Another one of my intentions for the night besides just saying no, was to almost play with my sexual energy.

When I was younger I used to get called a d*ck tease all the time.

Which kind of was which was my right to be just because I’m sensually pleasing to men or boys or whoever. It doesn’t mean that I have to act on it but that’s a whole another story for another time.

I wanted to play with this archetype of inner healing with this teenager inside of me who feels that she is a d*ck tease.

I was wearing lingerie where my ass was exposed, I put all this glitter on my ass.

My ass worshipped for the whole night. It was so profound, I learned so much about that.

I wanted to play with letting people witness me and worship me through the site but not letting them in unless they were my friends.

I was OK with them touching me essentially but not in a sexual term. No penetration or anything like that.

I wanted people to just worship my ass.

Because I got so many compliments while I was at the mastery experience or mastery intensive for Regina’s program, many women were complimenting my ass.

It feels so good because I don’t always compliment my own ass. I was like what I’m going to let my ass worshipped. I put always glitter on.

My desire was to be spanked and rub with a rose. There’s four or five of my friends who were rubbing roses down on my body. Spanking me. Checking in with me to ask,

Is this OK? How does this feel? Can I do this?

— I got to say Yes or No

I was able to get central experiences with my friends, get spanked, and sensually rub down.

All just getting witnessed.

I really just wanted to be witnessed in my beauty, my sexuality in my pleasure in my turn on, and not have to feel like I have to take it further. Because I feel like that’s something that happens for women a lot.

As we feel just because we might be turned on if we’re in the presence of someone else who is also turned on by us. Sometimes we feel like we have to do something about it. I just didn’t want to do that.

I just want to let go of those kinds of beliefs.

That kind of conditioning where you feel like you have to do something just because someone else is turned on in front of you.

These are the three things that I learned at the play party.

I would love to know if have you been to a play party. What was it like?

It was an amazing experience.

I didn’t really see anything shady happening, besides the dude who touched my ass without permission.

Other than that everything else felt super aligned, super beautiful. I feel like the people at the play party held the space and the containers so beautifully.

I felt super protected. I felt really safe throughout the whole thing.

Maybe it was because I was with a group of my really close girlfriends. — I don’t know

I would love to hear your experience or what questions you might have about play parties just whatever you’ve got.

I hope you enjoyed, if so follow me.

Sending you so much love,

Kisses.