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ince yourself they are stressed, unhappy, or going through a personal crisis. You pick up the slack. You keep the home together. But you’ve lost the luxury of any part of your life being about you. You’re too busy picking up after someone else.</p><p id="dd4e" type="7">6. “We sometimes make life harder by trying to be perfect, by trying to hide the human condition. Vulnerability is not only strength it is freedom.” —Colleen Sheehy Orme</p><p id="898e">Some secrets are exhausting. Shame can accompany them. Ultimately, hiding someone else’s scandals can make you feel bad about yourself. You become an unwilling accomplice and it dishonors how you feel about yourself.</p><p id="b79b" type="7">7. “Be careful of people who talk you out of being you.” —Colleen Sheehy Orme</p><p id="af34">When our feelings, worries, and concerns go ignored they escalate. Our frustration demands a listener. We overtalk, we raise our voices, or we retreat. Ultimately, we become angry or sad individuals. A person who loves you will never ignore you to the point of your own overwhelming misery.</p><p id="ed67" type="7">8. “You won’t find your way until you’re no longer homesick for an old route.” —Colleen Sheehy Orme</p><p id="b2fb">I was never going to reclaim who I was until I let go of him. It was as simple as that.</p><p id="ff56" type="7">9. “An emotionally greedy individual will personally bankrupt you.” —Colleen Sheehy Orme</p><p id="b8b9">I didn’t understand emotional greed. I didn’t realize a person would watch you destroy yourself to save them. No human being is worth that sacrifice, especially a willing sideline spectator.</p><p id="a0e1" type="7">10. “It’s not so much about reinventing who you are but more about re-establishing who you’ve been all along.” —Colleen Sheehy Orme</p><p id="1863">The words reinvention and second acts have become popular. Women embarking on part two of their life adventures. But I disagree. I believe it’s less about reinvention and more about restoration. We are reckless with ourselves. We are spiritually irresponsible. We have an obligation to protect who we were created to be.</p><h2 id="28ac">Summary</h2><p id="b852"><b>I posed on a silver platter.</b> I gave myself away. Even though my ex-husband is who he is. I was a willing human sacrifice. I offered myself up in the name of love.</p><p id="4e8e">I gave myself away.</p><p id="c89d"><b>Follow </b>my quotes on <a href="https://www.instagram.com/colleenorme/">Instagram</a> or me on <a href="https://twitter.com/ColleenOrme">Twitter</a> or <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/colleen-orme-7773015/">LinkedIn</a> or <a href="https://www.facebook.com/colleensheehyorme">Facebook</a></p><p id="2829"><i>If you would like to read more of my stories and support me as a writer, consider signing up to <a href="https://colleenorme.medium.com/membership">become a Medium member.</a> For just $5 a month, you will get unlimited access to Medium.</i></p><div id="6db8" class="link-block"> <a href="https://colleenorme.medium.com/13-new-years-relationship-quotes-c02a1f61f959"> <div> <div> <h2>13 New Year’s Relationship Quotes</h2> <div><h3>No nonsense words about relationships</h3

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I Was a Woman Who Lost Herself

10 Quotes about the danger of unhealthy relationships

I won’t lie.

I posed on a silver platter. I gave myself away. Even though my ex-husband is who he is. I was a willing human sacrifice. I offered myself up in the name of love.

Sounds romantic, doesn’t it? Even gloriously selfless!

I could call it various things and they would all be correct.

I was an enabler, a pleaser, and a giver. I lacked boundaries and self-protective instincts. My marriage counselor repeatedly reminded me of these things.

But I would skip home with the notion I could rescue my marriage.

The longer I tried, the more I didn’t like myself. The arguing, the yelling, the begging, the unpleasant words. An ugliness emerged that threatened my internal being.

I couldn’t save my marriage, I should have saved myself.

10 quotes about the danger of unhealthy relationships

1. “Staying with my husband wasn’t bringing out the best of me. It was losing the rest of me.” —Colleen Sheehy Orme

There wasn’t anything healthy about my actions. One person can’t save a relationship. One person can’t change another person. They can’t correct their bad behavior. People can change but not because someone else begs them to. They evolve when they themselves arrive at a desire for growth.

2. “There’s a danger in abandoning ourselves.” —Colleen Sheehy Orme

Leave that to others. Wish them well. Don’t say things even four walls shouldn’t hear. Don’t let their bad bring out your worst. Don’t fall out of love with yourself.

3. “There’s an unmistakable irony to loving someone so much…until you no longer love you.” —Colleen Sheehy Orme

I lived in a home absent of a healthy relationship. I harbored his secrets while he behaved badly. I tore myself to pieces while he ripped our family apart. I loved him so much that I sacrificed any love I had for myself.

4. “Love requires we sacrifice some of ourselves. Don’t ever mistake that for all of ourselves.” —Colleen Sheehy Orme

There’s a difference between giving and giving ourselves away. It was never my job to be overly responsible for another human being. It was up to him to be accountable for his behavior, his marriage, and his children. I shouldn’t have begged him to stop drinking and upsetting us. That was his sole responsibility.

5. “Love can trick you into shedding yourself in favor of another.” — Colleen Sheehy Orme

It happens gradually. You make excuses for the bad behavior of someone you love. You rationalize it. You convince yourself they are stressed, unhappy, or going through a personal crisis. You pick up the slack. You keep the home together. But you’ve lost the luxury of any part of your life being about you. You’re too busy picking up after someone else.

6. “We sometimes make life harder by trying to be perfect, by trying to hide the human condition. Vulnerability is not only strength it is freedom.” —Colleen Sheehy Orme

Some secrets are exhausting. Shame can accompany them. Ultimately, hiding someone else’s scandals can make you feel bad about yourself. You become an unwilling accomplice and it dishonors how you feel about yourself.

7. “Be careful of people who talk you out of being you.” —Colleen Sheehy Orme

When our feelings, worries, and concerns go ignored they escalate. Our frustration demands a listener. We overtalk, we raise our voices, or we retreat. Ultimately, we become angry or sad individuals. A person who loves you will never ignore you to the point of your own overwhelming misery.

8. “You won’t find your way until you’re no longer homesick for an old route.” —Colleen Sheehy Orme

I was never going to reclaim who I was until I let go of him. It was as simple as that.

9. “An emotionally greedy individual will personally bankrupt you.” —Colleen Sheehy Orme

I didn’t understand emotional greed. I didn’t realize a person would watch you destroy yourself to save them. No human being is worth that sacrifice, especially a willing sideline spectator.

10. “It’s not so much about reinventing who you are but more about re-establishing who you’ve been all along.” —Colleen Sheehy Orme

The words reinvention and second acts have become popular. Women embarking on part two of their life adventures. But I disagree. I believe it’s less about reinvention and more about restoration. We are reckless with ourselves. We are spiritually irresponsible. We have an obligation to protect who we were created to be.

Summary

I posed on a silver platter. I gave myself away. Even though my ex-husband is who he is. I was a willing human sacrifice. I offered myself up in the name of love.

I gave myself away.

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If you would like to read more of my stories and support me as a writer, consider signing up to become a Medium member. For just $5 a month, you will get unlimited access to Medium.