How We Can Improve Self-Confidence…

Follow my history…

When I was a kid growing up, I used to really…really struggle with my self-confidence. I was scared of girls, quiet as a mouse, and didn’t believe in myself whatsoever, so much so, that this issue persisted in plaguing me all the way through my childhood. Read on to find out my childhood story and how I overcame my issues with self-confidence. (By the way I’m quite a private person so I will not be posting personal photos online)

So what was my problem?

Basically, as it says on the tin, my self-confidence. My lack of self-confidence had an effect on my behaviour, thought process, and ultimately my experiences of childhood. It made simple things hard and made hard things harder.

You know, if any, you readers can remember when you just did not have the courage to do something. Maybe when you backed out of talking to the girl or guy you liked for fear of them not liking you because you were convinced you were not good enough, or because, like me, you were convinced you were ugly.

How many times, if you go back in your life, have you lost out on something because you did not have the confidence to see it through or attempt it? Me, I lost count. How often have you backed down, maybe from a forceful or ‘stronger’ person, all because you didn’t have the belief in yourself to stand up to them? When I was a kid, too many. What about that time when you were in a class of other kids who were all ‘smarter’ than you? I felt like that on a daily.

I struggled.

• I struggled with standing up for myself. “I’m not tough like they are.”
• I struggled with my schoolwork. “I’m not as smart as the others.”
• I struggled with my appearance. “I’m ugly.”
• I struggled with making friends and connecting with others. “I’m no fun.”
• I struggled with diet. “I’m sad, I want sugar.”
• I struggled with girls. “The girl said I was ugly, must be true.”

“If anyone related to the above things, please add a comment. I’d like to hear your story.”

What was the solution?

When we ask ourselves what the solution is to such issues of under-confidence, I believe that with the right kind of digging, we will stumble upon the reason/s for said issue. Perhaps something happened. Perhaps it was something that kept on happening. Whatever the case, I am a true believer that in order to say goodbye to under-confidence and say hello to confidence, we MUST identify our own personal reason, the cause.

Here, I’ll address to you what my cause was for my under-confidence:

Root cause

Hopefully, some of you guessed before you read this. Yes, bullying. From my earliest youth, I was bullied. It kind of began with the kid across from us on our street. He would pretend to be my friend, do his bullying, and then be my friend again. This happened for years until, eventually, I gained a new bully in school. I won’t recount events in this piece, but it persisted, and often others joined in.

Of course, bullying comes in various forms and is almost certainly not always physical. Mental and emotional bullying can have major, even permanent, effects on a person. These effects stuck with me almost all the way through my secondary school (high school).

What did I do to overcome them all?

Hopefully, you can read my Ipad handwriting well enough to understand how I dealt with my self-confidence problems.

Success?

Well, yeah, I guess so. But don’t be fooled into thinking that I actually identified the root causes of my lack of confidence. I certainly wasn’t mature enough to work out such things at the time, nor do I claim to be smart enough. However, all of the issues I had with my self-confidence disappeared thanks to the above.

If you do have some success, or you are looking for some, then sometimes it makes sense to pause and consider what you are truly grateful for. If you struggle with that, check out my other article.

So what is the solution for you?

If you're reading this, it means that you possess the self-awareness to recognise that you struggle with confidence. That's a valuable advantage that I didn't have at one point. While you have access to the internet, the important thing is that at some point in your life, you'll do something that will change you and help you overcome your under-confidence. However, if you haven't reached that point yet and are still affected by your lack of confidence, consider what I've said. Take some time to reflect on why you feel this way. Has someone said something hurtful to you? Did something happen that caused you to doubt yourself? Could it be related to something from your past?

If you are looking for some quick ways to boost that precious mental health, click here.

Whatever that root cause is, whatever the reason, you CAN gain confidence in everything you do. You just have to find a way of believing in yourself or just work on not believing what others say. Whatever you did to change things, I want to hear about it.

I have much more to say about life’s journey, including one period in my life I am still piecing together to tell you about. Part 1 is right here.

I hope you enjoyed this,

I’m Tyler Woden, and I hope you enjoyed this article for my Mental Health Mondays.