I Failed At My First Ever Public Speaking Opportunity In My First Company

A daunting experience I wish I had never had, but it helped me anyway.

I am a big fan of Eminem and the lyrics from one of the most popular songs are — “… If you had one shot, or one opportunity, to seize everything you ever wanted, in one moment, would you capture it, or just let it slip?…”.

This was the same song I was listening to before the presentation of my group that day in the month of January 2016. I was the leader of the group. However, we lost. I just froze for a full 25 seconds on the stage.

I had been fairly confident for the majority of my life. I have been speaking on stage throughout my school days. I studied in a missionary school where we had to recite morning prayers and motivational speeches every single day, and I have been a part of that group. I participated in several speaking contests and debates and even acted in a play.

However, when I got an opportunity in a multinational company and I, along with fellow associates (new employees are called associates in that organization), were handpicked as a group by our then trainer/mentor to speak on topics in front of potential big names in the organisation and other fellow associates, I was actually excited.

Every group was given a time limit of 15 minutes to speak on a topic. I was the leader of the group, and I actively orchestrated every plan. We prepared a presentation slide, and everyone was given one minute to do their part. Some of the members of the group were going to speak for the first time on stage. The ‘confident’ me was reassuring and encouraging the ‘nervous’ them that everything would go as planned.

We planned, practised, and rehearsed so hard on this. It was not that we would get a huge prize, but it was really good for exposure since all of us were just starting out in our careers. However, on the day of the presentation, when we were speaking, some of my fellow associates took more than a minute to speak their part.

No one had written notes since it was not allowed. I was concluding the presentation when my turn came, and I just had 40 seconds to speak. I was so confused about which lines to choose that I panicked and I forgot my lines. I stood there on stage with a blank face for a complete 25 seconds. Somehow, I picked myself up and concluded the presentation.

I got the remark that “Being the representative of the group, you let your team down.” I was extremely embarrassed and felt deeply disappointed in myself. After that incident, the idea of me standing in front of even five people and putting myself out there terrified me.

After a year, I made the mental decision to overcome my fear. I made a constant effort to listen to podcasts of discussions or watch commencement speeches on YouTube. I studied Steve Jobs, Nick Vujicic, and Les Brown like they were exams. They became my role models in public speaking. And with practice and continuous effort, I have been able to overcome this fear. I have spoken in front of hundreds of people several times in the company where I work now.

What I have learned is that you always need to be honest with the audience. I mean, if you prepare for a topic hard enough, you are bound to fail. Creating an outline and knowing the subject is all you need. Of course, you need practice. But there will always be instances where things won’t go as per the plan. Like with everything in life, we need to improvise.

One of the best pieces of advice I learned from YouTube videos is to work on breathing techniques that control my heart rate. That can be achieved via meditative breathing. I used the Headspace app for the same. Other factors to consider include body language, confidence, a positive attitude, and, most importantly, eye contact, on which I don’t intend to deep dive.

I am, by no means, the most eloquent speaker out there. I never aimed for that in the first place. I just wanted to regain the confidence to speak on stage, which I was good at when I was a kid. Although it might not seem like a big deal, the embarrassment I felt that day on stage and the constant tussle between fight-or-flight happening in my mind was extremely daunting. I promised myself I would never have that feeling ever again.

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