I Started Working Out Again. I Feel Great.

This is my story and journey right now.

I started working out again after a couple of years of no training. My brother bought weights to start working out and he inspired me to start working out again. I’ve completely realized I have been through a lot of traumatic experience in life the last couple of years, that I completely forgot to workout and take it seriously. Life was too much bearing and overwhelming for me. I had no motivation to workout. I saw no meaning in it. I mean who am I trying to look good for? I don’t have a guy in my telescope right now.

Even though I’m on a healthy diet I was still self-conscious about my body. My family has their bad sides but they always told me that I look great the way I am and I shouldn’t feel bad about how I look. I know they meant well.

I’ve had conversations with my brother about how I was sick of women always commenting on how skinny I am. I’ve NEVER had men tell me I’m skinny. Never. My brother told me “You’re not skinny. It’s probably the fat, insecure women who say you’re skinny as a stick because they hate being fat.”

He always went out explaining that being skinny is when your bones are sticking out. I believe what he said to be true.

He ended it with saying

“You’re slim and healthy. Not skinny.”

It makes you realize how women are jealous of each other. All my life it has always been overweight women who commented on my “skinny” body. It was those from my outer family, “friends”, and acquaintances in real life. They apparently had nothing better to say. They could encourage me but instead, they would make me feel more self-conscious about my body.

Even though my family supported me in this area I was still conscious about my body.

One of my oldest “close friend” was moody. One time I got out of her apartment because I had something important to do. She was already moody that day and I disliked her for it. At the door, she told me “You’re so skinny like a 12-year-old.” She was/is overweight.

I half-serious, half-jokingly told her “Haha f.ck you.” And left. I never contacted her since. I never took her unlimited calls and messages. This was when I was 18–19.

I used to have a best friend many years ago. Last year we met again after many years to catch up with each other’s updates in life. I came to her town on a 2-hour bus. The meeting went well. I was happy until she told me “Wow you’re so skinny like a skeleton!” she ruined the good vibe we had before.

She had to ruin it with that degrading comment. I was shocked and didn’t know what to say. Looking back I wish I confronted her with it and defended myself. To this day I still feel annoyed by her comment. But I don’t think I would feel as annoyed if I lashed my expression out on her as a way to purge it out to the right person who caused the mess of hurting me on an emotionally level.

Truth is I never took people's degrading comments of my “skinny” body seriously to begin with. But the more you hear it from people, the more you start to believe in it. Their degrading skinny shaming comments made me believe I was skinny as a stick and that I had the body of a tween girl. I never felt truly like a woman with a body like that. I admit I would see curvy women and wish I had a body like that.

I know the body isn’t everything, I have other important things to prioritize first such as making a living out of my passion and taking care of my loved ones. You can be blessed with an amazing body and still be a lonely, miserable wreck.

Your body is your temple. You need to take good care of it like it’s your own child. You have to nurture it with love and care.

A few days ago I was on YouTube looking for recipe meals to gain weight. The only videos I found were recipe meals for WEIGHT LOSS.

“5 Healthy Low Calorie for Weight Loss.” “Weight Loss Prep Meal.” “9 Healthy Breakfast for Weight Loss.”

I don’t see

“7 Healthy High Calorie for Weight Gain.” “Weight Gain Prep Meal.” “3 Healthy Breakfast for Weight Gain.”

You name it.

I barely found ONE viral recipe video for weight gain. It goes out to show that losing weight for overweight people is more popular while weight gain for underweight/slim people is barely mentioned. Fat shaming is taking more seriously than skinny shaming. Both are real issues.

It’s sadly not as popular as losing weight. Not many realize that skinny shaming is a real issue, too. I hope there will be more viral recipe meals for weight gain. I hope they take that serious as showing recipe meals for losing weight. Underweight/slim people who try to gain weight should feel included too. We matter too.

My small achievements:

I started working out again since November 23rd this year. It’s been two weeks and I’ve noticed some change in my body already. 5 days of working out and 2 days of break per week. My biceps arms and legs are already showing small muscle growth. My bottom is a little rounder now. You have no idea how encouraged I was from the result. It’s also because I have to gain more calories than I burn. Every day I make myself a weight gain smoothie with around 1,000 calories to promote my weight gain. Making 3–6 meals a day that has a total of 1,000 calories is something I don’t have time for. Maybe I’m just making excuses. But I got this idea of why not making a weight gain smoothie that has 1,000 calories in it? Then I got the high calorie I need to gain weight. I’m doing all this on a mainly vegan diet. Can you imagine that?

I already feel I have more energy.

I was fine having a slim body, but I’ve been motivated to take my body to the next level. I’m doing lifting, not cardio. I love how I feel like a beast or after working out. I feel like Wonderwoman/Superwoman when I lift weights. My goal is not to have a masculine body. I want to gain muscle weight on my arms and lower body while looking feminine at the same time. I want to have a strong body. I want to shape my body. I’m setting a goal to gain 15 kg.

When you workout, you don’t only gain physical strength. It also gives you inner mental strength. You do an inner workout too. Working out decreases your stress and you start to think clearer. It gets easier for you to sleep better, by moving every day. I feel like I’m on an emotional journey to become better physically and emotionally. Workout teaches you that when it becomes a struggle, you have to keep moving forward. When you sweat and it feels like your body is burning in hell, you have to keep working out, if you want to see results and improvements.

I’m also well prepared to lose acquaintances/friends and people in my life if they notice my result. I imagine if I put a before/after picture of myself on Facebook I would see my friend list dropdown. This is just a thought. I have no idea what’s going to happen but it wouldn’t surprise me if someone I know in my life would start getting jealous of seeing me in a fit shape.

I’ve also started drinking a green smoothie as pre-workout and I notice I have more strength and power to lift weights. Doing 12 repetitions arm workout was almost all I could. Yesterday I did arm workout of 20 repetitions without the struggle. The green smoothie is an energy booster and I’m definitely sure that’s what caused me to have more strength when I do the workout.

Workout and drink your green smoothie, friends. Thank you for reading my story.

Thank you for reading my article! My pen name is Suzan Dalia and I’m a writer. My goal is to write articles that her readers can think and learn from. I write anything like essays, health, wellness, lifestyle, personal stories. I share my wisdom, inspirations, and motivational content to lift people’s souls.

📷 Instagram: Suzandaliaa