I Spent Time with Mum Yesterday. It Shocked Me How Stressful Retirement Life Can Be.

Observe it [with your own eyes] to appreciate it

My Mum is 67 this year.

As a full-time housewife, her world is within the 4 walls. She cooks and spends hours practicing taichi at home. She would chill by the telly after.

To Mum, the world outside belongs to guys.

You go out and bring home the money, she said to me and Dad. I will take care of you when you are home.

Home is an oasis because of her.

That said… Mum struggled with retirement.

“The world is moving so fast to retire me. I feel so out of place.”

That One Sentence Got Me Thinking

I wish money would solve all retirement problems. Really.

Mum destroyed that thesis.

She never worked for money. Whatever leftover she had from shrewd budgeting of daily expenses became her savings.

Mum lived within her means. Of course. She never bothered expanding it.

My 67-year-old at home believed thriftiness would tide her through the Golden Years. In truth, the amount she amassed was impressive.

She had $200,000+ in the bank account after decades and decades of socking away pennies and dollars. I was touched when I saw that string of digits. She inserted my name into the bank account for joint holding.

“Better insert your name now. You can tap into this account when something happens to me. This is for my retirement. You cannot touch it when I am alive!”

I promised her.

But recently, her views on frugality and savings had been shaken.

Here’s why.

Eating Less When Food Prices Shoot Up

Dad was unwell last week.

Mum had to go to the neighborhood eatery to pack for lunch and dinner. Cooking is out of the picture because she has to care for an Old Man with a High Temperature.

These are her words, not mine.

I chuckled. Yeah, I got that.

And.

She had a rude shock.

“I ordered 2 portions of vegetables, 1 slice of steamed fish, and garlic chicken. The cashier charged me $8! God! I asked him to remove the fish and chicken because I only had $5. I thought it was enough!”

That is not all.

Mum’s struggle went beyond money.

This time, it was about contactless payment.

“I pulled out $5 and passed it to him. He said no. Then he pulled out a machine and asked me to do a PayWave. He ignored me when I asked what was that.”

At that point, Mum did not know what to do. She got exasperated.

She just wanted to get the food, make payment, and then leave.

“Why is it so difficult to pay money? Cash is so easy! Why are we creating all these problems?”

In an instant, that very moment, I realized 1 thing.

Every generation carries their life experience with them. Mum lived her life in an environment where,

• Cash is accepted for payment,
• It is okay not to bring a smartphone wherever she goes,
• And saving money for retirement is the way to go because inflation is mild.

I tried explaining to Mum that inflation has increased the prices of necessities. She could not comprehend that.

“Don’t we rear pigs and grow our vegetables?”

I said no. Farms have disappeared because Singapore had to free land for urbanization and public housing. We import 100% of our food today.

I watched Mum’s face as I spoke.

“I didn’t know your father absorbed so much financial stress. He never complained about the prices. And I kept telling him I wanted to eat steamed fish. Sigh. I am so selfish.”

It was desperation, annoyance, and ignorance all wrapped into one tonality. I worried for myself, too. I don’t want to be penalized for eating more and healthier foods when I age.

And Mum’s simple grouse triggered one deep, further realization.

“I Thought I Retired. I was Wrong. The World Was Working Hard to Retire Me.”

This was [exactly] what Mum said.

Word for word.

I did not respond immediately. We tend to butt heads within seconds due to our quick tempers, so I wanted to chew on it first.

I put her soundbites on auto-repeat. The more I think about retirement, the more fascinated and worried I become.

Many people I know struggle with the money piece. It is bad enough not to have a nest egg for retirement. The last thing you want to know is [higher than average] inflation removing those eggs from your nest.

One by one. Slowly, but surely.

This is obvious.

The impact of technology, however, is hidden in plain sight.

We know technology is disruptive. It changes business models and forces us to become more efficient and productive to survive. We know that.

What about our seniors? Our retired elders? They never had to use consumer technology to go through their daily lives during their prime.

How are they going to cope with the rapid pace of change?

I no longer stay with Mum. Dad runs the errands. What if he comes across a piece of technology that makes no sense [to them]?

He did.

Mum told me that Father got pissed with the gas guy because the delivery of the gas tank must be acknowledged by a QR code scan. Father knew nuts about it, worried it was a scam, and refused to do it.

Of course. Father didn’t know how to.

Guess what happened?

The delivery guy removed the installed gas tank and left. Father was annoyed. And Mum had no cooking gas to make dinner. She grumbled to him.

I am not joking.

This is a disaster for my retired parents in their 60s and 70s.

And highly stressful, of course.

The Close

So.

What does this mean for me? Or you?

Retirement is a challenging topic beyond money. There are many things we must grapple with. Tell me that technology is a problem for retirement 2 years ago, and I would laugh my head off.

Like, literally.

Today? No longer.

I observe how real retirees go through their daily lives.

There are 2 principal struggles for retirement today.

• Our ability to retire from the workplace and enjoy our life. This is where we worry about money, loan repayment, the meaning of life, and fulfilling friendships.
• The World is moving faster and faster to expire us. Losing the real value of our savings to inflation. Invasive consumer technology. A world where our young pay more attention to their devices than their elders.

Retirement fascinates me.

I must speak to more real retirees across different age groups to understand the Big R better.

I am glad I still have time… at 40.

Like this story? Hit Subscribe!

Oh, oh, you can buy me a cup of black too! Thank you!