I Met the Thriftiest Pre-Retiree This Weekend. She Was [Really] Painful to Watch.

The line between thrifty and stingy is near-invisible

I don’t usually comment on behavior.

But Kate’s hard to watch.

I arranged to meet her on a Thursday afternoon. Kate is my client and I am meeting her for a business lunch.

She is 48 this year and is actively preparing for retirement.

I didn’t know until she mentioned it.

It all started when Kate arrived at the eatery I was in [She was late] and ordered plain water. The weather was scorching hot, so the waitress asked whether she wanted ice.

To my surprise, she said no.

The reason?

It’s expensive.

When An Additional 20 Cents Is a Matter of Life & Death

“I can buy you lunch, Kate. No worries.”

She refused on the grounds of commercial consideration. Kate is with client procurement. The last thing she wants is to be bribed with candies.

I laughed at her objections.

“Okay, noted. We can split bills.”

And then we started perusing the menu. I wanted something soupy and warm because I had been speaking for the entire morning at a deal pitch. My throat feels dry.

Kate, however, wasn’t too concerned with the offers on the menu.

I noticed her index finger was guiding her eyes from right to left.

I observed her for a while, wondering why she was doing that. I stared at my menu after that. It was then I realized that she was checking the price first.

Food comes later.

Hmm.

I wanted to ask Kate whether this restaurant is too pricey. But she made no sound. I figured that it wasn’t a problem. I zipped.

The waitress returned.

She took my order and then turned to Kate.

“What would you like, Madam?”

Kate closed the menu, looked up, and answered the following.

“Can you recommend me good food below the $10?”

I saw blood rushing away from the waitress’s face. She went white at the speed of light.

Kate must be the oddest oddball she has ever serviced.

The waitress recovered after 2 seconds.

“Garden salad? That’s $9. How about black pepper chicken chop? It’s today’s special. We are offering it at $9.50. These are great offers, Madam.”

I concur.

It’s hard to find a plate of chicken chop below 10 bucks these days.

Kate surprised me with the following.

“I will take the chicken chop. Oh, can you make me a cup of coffee with this sachet? I will pay you $0.20 for it.”

That was a little surprising.

I flipped the menu to the drinks page. A cup of hot coffee costs $3. Kate is trying to save $2.80.

The waitress was bemused.

I expected her to say no.

But she obliged.

“Every Dollar Counts Now, You Know.”

“You are very thrifty, Kate.”

She did not refute me. Kate explained that she is preparing for her retirement.

“There are rumors that the next retrenchment wave is coming. I might be on the list. So, I must be frugal. Every dollar counts, you know.”

I get that.

But she is beyond frugal. I will go on the record to say she is borderline miserly.

Kate skipped the pause. She rambled on.

“I need to stretch~~ every single dollar I have. Maybe I will no longer be employable. I must adjust to eating less, spending less, and start clipping grocery coupons.”

With all honesty, I didn’t know what to say.

She said all the right things.

Yet… it also sounded… off.

It feels like Kate is no longer approaching life by expanding her means. She is contracting her means to get by, with worry that she will blow her savings before biological expiration.

Now, that is not what she said. That’s my judgment. And yes, I could be wrong.

But it is really, really painful to watch.

“My colleague told me that we must chew 32 times before swallowing. We eat less that way. And that means I can pack half of this chicken chop home for dinner.”

Goodness me.

Retirement is Living with What She Has and No Longer Working

I asked whether Kate thought about her retirement.

She is, after all, too young [at 48] to retire for good… if she was asked to leave.

“I think if I am asked to leave… then that’s it. I will stop working. It’s too tiring for me. I will retire on what I have. I do have some stocks and cash. I will keep my expenses in check.”

In my interpretation — This is financial defense at its finest.

It’s about preservation, not losing what Kate has, and ensuring she has enough to support herself without having to work or spend without consideration.

I didn’t stuff words into her mouth.

She did.

“I guess… the trip to Japan last year… will be the final one in my life. It is a pity because I do enjoy the Hanami season.”

I had no response.

Everything felt terribly wrong to me.

It is like… I would want my Golden Years to be colorful. I can enjoy the life I seek, that money is not a problem, and that I can trust myself to earn pocket money when circumstances call for it.

Kate’s approach to her retirement is my 180. It befuddles me.

I figured I should avoid vocalizing any uninformed comments. There might be reasons or circumstances driving Kate to think this way.

I respect that.

And, quite naturally, I also expect the following.

“Isn’t the chicken chop $9.50? How come the bill came up to $10.35 for the main?”

Kate was upset with the waitress, now the cashier. The waitress shrugged her shoulders and kept her cool.

“Madam, we got to charge you Goods & Services Tax. That’s 9% on top of our pricing.”

I shuddered after hearing that.

The Close

With time, I’ve realized that retirement presents itself along a wide spectrum.

• Some people enjoy every single moment of their Big R.
• Others worry about the money.
• A few cannot afford to retire.

Kate falls into the second camp.

And I suspect she will be one of the extreme data points within that camp.

She makes me think. Do I want to play extreme financial defense during my retirement years? Stretching every dollar and saving every penny I have?

Is that what I want for my future self? Honestly, I’ll pass.

That said… I wish Kate all the best.

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Oh, oh, you can buy me a cup of black too! Thank you!