I Spent Six Months Attending Free Business Webinars
This is what I learned
How it started
With a freed-up calendar in a pandemic lockdown, I was spending more time doing everything virtually: reading e-books, listening to podcasts, and watching more YouTube videos than ever before.
If you spend more than five minutes a day on Social Media, you will come across at least one ad with a special offer inviting you to sign up for a free webinar. The targets of such ads are small business owners or anyone interested — even if just remotely — in becoming an entrepreneur. Anyone with a service to offer or an idea to develop can feel enticed to learn a few tips from those self-proclaimed business experts.
Out of curiosity, I signed up for every free webinar posted on my feed, to see for myself if there was anything of value being given away. Anything from Fitness Coaching to Consulting was game for me. I gave it my best interest and undivided attention, for as long as the webinar lasted (one hour each, on average). I attended presentations with titles similar to these:
“Create Online Courses in Just Ninety Minutes.”
“Make Six Figures by Taking Your Yoga Business Online.”
“Get Paid to Speak (Even if You Never Spoke in Public Before).”
“How to Start a Rapidly Growing Consulting Business.”
“Create Your Own App and Start Making Money in Your Sleep.”
“Build a Successful Law Practice Where You Only Have to Work Three Days a Week.”
What I learned
All of those online time-wasting gigs had these things in common, regardless of the difference in the field of their prospect (yoga instructor, teacher, lawyer):
- Every single one of them claims to have a proven system for success that they can’t wait to share with you. They promise you will learn something of great value. They go as far as putting an actual dollar amount on a freebie, such as: “this printable planner alone would cost you $50.” Their goal is to keep you hooked until the end of their presentation, and they have no shame in asking for that directly. At the very beginning, you will hear them say they are about to tell you to do one thing, only once, and you better listen. The reality is, they are not really about to tell you much anything.
- The host introduces themselves at the beginning of the webinar in a manner that is designed carefully. First, they tell a story about working hard and trying to be successful, only to fail miserably at booking clients, selling their product or service, and getting paid. Then, they claim to have spent thousands of dollars and wasted months or years, sometimes over and over, until they found “the secret,” which they promise to share if you stick around. They talk about their families. They hint at something about doing what you love and achieving happiness.
- After the introduction, it’s time to share success stories from the webinar host’s clients. This part is almost like a song playing on a loop — different client, same story. Each one is accompanied by a picture of the now successful (previously a loser) client, and also a quote. Such quote is to vouch for the very webinar you are attending, the amazing method where they went from nothing or almost nothing to now living off a highly profitable business that runs on auto-pilot while they spend more time with their loved ones and vacationing around the world. Are you hooked yet?
They get your attention by describing your very struggle that they once endured too. As if they are what you may become: someone who can break free from a job they hate and become mega-successful very fast.
4. Next comes the PowerPoint part of the class, which involves a lot of basic math. It goes along these lines: “I make $10,000 in 4 hours from 5 clients who pay me $2,000 each to learn from my expertise. That’s an average of $2,500 an hour. In my previous job, I did not make more than $25 an hour. As you can see, I now make a hundred times more than at my previous job, and I also work less.” After running such attractive numbers, a concept arises: they are only able to make so much money because they learned or created some sort of magic formula. That formula is what they are about to teach you. Again, just make sure to watch their presentation until the end.
5. This is the moment when they sound like they are showing you what you are doing wrong. Of course, they know it because they have been in your shoes: they worked hard and failed to get rich. If you have been paying attention — and you probably have, you will feel like this is it! You get it! You are ready to be as successful as they are! What a nice host, opening your eyes about how you should have a much wealthier existence, living up to your full potential! If you accept to join the mindset they are inviting you into, this is when you think, “I need to stop being a sucker. Why keep charging competitive market prices? Why go on finding clients through word of mouth and legitimate referrals, after building a reputation?” You are about to leave all serious work behind and start “working smart, not hard.” You will apply the lesson you are learning and spend less time on your business, a lot less than you are currently working. Again, the suggestion is, that dedicating time to legitimately build your credentials and client list is never going to add up to anything. Forget about charging fair market prices that are realistic and competitive within your industry. You now know, that all you need is “the right client,” who will gladly pay you more for your awesome knowledge.
6. Here’s how I would summarize the magical thinking sales techniques preached in these webinars: “No one has told you this before: stop doing things the way you do, or the way you learned before. No one wanted to buy from you before. Now that you are here, you will start selling.” According to these experts, you no longer need to solicit clients, cold-call, or even market your work the way you used to. That’s because:
a) their “system” teaches you how to generate repeat business;
b) it also teaches you how to price your services correctly;
c) from now on, you will only work with the right clients — the ones who generate a multiplied income for you.
Words like “strategy,” building” and “scaling” are used frequently. “Scaling” is my favorite. It is supposed to mean that you will lose some clients who don’t want to pay what you want to charge, but you will keep the ones that matter: the ones who will agree to pay you more.
If you are truly smart, though, you will notice a subliminal message here: you are about to become their “right client.” You are being told you have to charge more by the very person who will invite you to pay more at the end of their “free” presentation.
7. Relatability is another rule in these speeches. They get your attention by describing your very struggle that they once endured too. As if they are what you may become: someone who can break free from a job they hate and become mega-successful very fast. They claim to have helped people just like you before, who all succeeded. They also share plenty of family pictures, and at least one or two quotes from a spouse or parent who has shown unconditional love and support in difficult times. As only a friend would, they “share (their) own numbers” with you. How many clients they have, how frequently they meet those clients, how much each client pays them. Of course, clients’ names are not disclosed. But, what would your life look like if you just did the same? “Like, Mary, for example: Just by attending TWO networking events a month, Mary now is making ONE MILLION DOLLARS a year, taking vacations, running her business from home, spending time with her loved ones, and driving a luxury car.”
8. Interactive is the new black, even when it’s fake. One thing I noticed in several webinars was a chatbox, which the host encouraged us to use to write in questions or comments. Well, I have been to online classes before. I even teach classes via Zoom to groups. I know how chatboxes are supposed to work. Strangely, the chatboxes I came across had zero spam. Not one negative comment, not one troll. Not that I like trolls, but isn’t that suspicious? That you open your event to anyone on the internet and everyone is well behaved and positive? In fact, once I started reading, most comments I found were one-liners like, “this is great,” “I need this,” and “ I am going to sign up right now.” When I attend classes from coaches I actually know, the chatbox is used for legitimate questions that the coach answers as the class progresses. Rarely do I see people simply praising the host repeatedly and vowing to be their client.
As it turns out, the chatbox was fabricated. Well, something else was: several of the “live” training sessions I attended were actually pre-recorded, and many meant to look like they were happening live. A handful of them did disclose that I was signing up for a pre-recorded event, but not all. The idea that “live” is more exciting is true. In addition, potential clients love the momentum building of making a decision as soon as a presentation is coming to a conclusion, which is not the same when you know you are watching something “old.”
9. Tell a relatable story, brag about your success, write a numeric formula, repeat. Repeat, repeat, repeat. Halfway through the session and before the conclusion, they bring back another picture of when they were broke and qualified as a loser. That will be followed by another success image — here there may be a little name-dropping, even if merely a selfie with Tony Robbins. There will be a reminder of how deep in the struggle they were before being where they are now — a very desirable place. Some more of their clients with quotes will pop on the screen again. A few more basic math numbers, just in case you weren’t paying attention before: work less, charge more, 2 times 2 is 4, but 200 times 200 has a lot more zeros! It’s all the same, just phrased a little differently. And that selfie with a famous guy is probably from an event they paid to attend — obviously. The point of repeating is to get you to say, “Ok, I get it.” Because when you “get it,” you are ready to sign up. They keep bragging about the “value” of what you are learning, implying you can close your laptop as soon as you finish and go apply the method they just taught you.
10. Every “free webinar” is a pep talk to sell you a paid program, service, or subscription. Well, of course — what were you thinking? While giving you something for free (a lot of talking), they brag about having the highest paying, “quality” clients, to whom they REALLY teach something. In case you have not solved that puzzle yet, that is you. If you are still excited to become part of their inner circle at this point, get ready to pay up. There is always an option for everybody, AKA, a “cheap subscription,” where you commit to paying something consistently and getting some content that can be upgraded later. There is also a more expensive option, where you get more of, well, whatever you are paying to get. Then, there is the really cool stuff — it may be called “VIP,” or “diamond subscription,” or anything that sounds important. In that option, a lot of your money goes right into the host’s pocket. It usually comes with something exclusive like getting to talk on the phone one-on-one with your coach.
Too many of the coaches I watched are simply pretending to be the Joneses you should keep up with, and I would bet they do not drive the cars they showed off, or are still paying off the vacations in the pictures.
None of that is illegal. In fact, subscriptions have been around for ages, and that is not a problem per se. The ethical line being crossed here is, that many of these webinars are being hosted by people who don’t always have any credentials other than, “I am making money.” It’s different than when you can verify a person’s experience because they have credibility versus only promises and charts. And it is definitely different than being a client of someone who has something to teach you that is specific to your field, and that does not come with the implication that you will go from rags to riches simply because you are being coached by them.
How it ended
After months of attending live training sessions and webinars, this is my conclusion: there is nothing of real monetary value in these free sessions, no matter how cute the freebie (an e-book, a printable calendar, a to-do list). Their goal is to have you on an email list to keep trying to sell you something later, in case you did not become a client on the day of the event. Again, there is nothing immoral or illegal about introducing yourself in exchange for someone’s contact information. Plus, you can always unsubscribe if you feel spammed. The true nuisance lies in the internet algorithms, which will keep showing you the same ads for the same webinars you attended on every Social Media platform you scroll through.
I would not say that watching all of those coaches speak was always a colossal waste of time. To be fair, not all of them were snake oil salespersons — some of them are good motivational speakers, and if you already have a business idea, maybe you can get a little inspiration from them. Or, you may decide to start marketing your business differently. Most of them try to put you in a self-motivating mindset, the vibe, the self-propping energy.
Unfortunately, too many fake experts are taking over this way of selling and making it hard to separate the good from the bad when you are the potential buyer. Too many of the coaches I watched are simply pretending to be the Joneses you should keep up with, and I would bet they do not drive the cars they showed off, or are still paying off the vacations in the pictures. I would even guess they once overpaid for sales training and are just trying to get something back.