I Regret . . .Things I’ve Done
It’s a sad (but positive) reality that some lessons must be learned the hard way.
Many actions in life are performed on impulse. You don’t really look ahead at the potential consequences, you just do something because “it seems like a good idea at the time.” Sometimes you were right to think that way — Sometimes you were dead wrong. Regret for the things you’ve done can cover an enormous amount of ground. Often, you do not feel the enormity of a poor choice until well after it has done its damage.
You may regret what you did because it hurt someone else. You may regret what you did because there were better options available for you but you chose to ignore them. You may regret what you did because it robbed you of valuable time in your life to work towards other goals. You may regret what you did because you know that life is ultimately far too short to make too many wrong turns in life and anything that didn’t take you where you wanted to go was a sad waste of your limited resource of time. You may even regret complete lifestyle choices that made you a less than honorable citizen or separated you from your connections with your family members. Life holds many options. It’s almost a foregone conclusion that some of your choices were not the ones to serve you best in your life. Anyone who denies this is either lying or has very limited expectations.
Much of the regret over things you have done centers around the fact that other people, people you love and care for, may have been hurt or offended by your actions. It’s one thing to make your peace with yourself in your own mind. It can be quite another to realize you cannot undo harm you have done to yourself or others, no matter how hard you might try. Forgiveness of bad actions or mistakes may be possible, but escaping consequences rarely is.
Fortunately, Life Has a Learning Curve, If You’re Willing to Embrace Your Mistakes. There are several behaviors that ultimately lead to regret:
- Failure to make wise choices because you didn’t have the knowledge of experience to figure out the best way to proceed.
- Failure to use time and resources to your best advantage.
- Jumping into action without doing your due diligence.
- Failing to use the judgement and resources of knowledgeable people to mentor you in your decisions. (Also known as — being a “know-it-all”)
- Wasting too much time chasing anything and everything that did not align with your passions in life.
Some regret is inevitable — none of us come into this world with a base of knowledge. Trial and error is the basis of every human endeavor. Guilt over anything that is out of your control is a waste of energy.
What Can Regret Teach You? The up side of regret is that it produces such a negative emotion that you will strive to avoid it in the future. Regret teaches you:
- To think before you act.
- To prioritize your limited time on this earth to pursue what you value and to embrace the people who have a true place in your life.
- To think about the potential consequences of your actions on yourself and others before making rash decisions.
In Conclusion: We would all prefer to run from our regrets like our hair was on fire. I like to take a different stance on this. Regret is a growing tool — much like failure is a stepping stone to growth. It teaches us appreciation for the good, the right and the successes in life. Maybe, at the end of the day, regret can give us more than it takes away.
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