avatarGustave Deresse | Writer; AI Artist

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Abstract

her teetering on the edge, endangering herself in ways I could never handle.</i></p><p id="e1fe"><i>I’m consumed by thoughts and fears of losing her.</i></p><p id="3778"><i>I recently insisted we cease our phone conversations. She accepted, except I’ve since received another call. Hey story of self-endangerment upset me to my core. She doesn’t play; I’ve seen her risk everything before.</i></p><p id="3b8c"><i>She claims unwillingness to live very long without me. Given the funds, I’d take her far away from everything.</i></p><p id="4e65"><i>Maybe I could even begin following her out in public— I know it would enthrall her, one day to discover I had. I realize upon saying it, she may rather I just go see her.</i></p><p id="ce05"><i>I could surprise her with one good set of creepy snaps?</i></p><p id="7622"><i>It’s— not an easy plan to exercise at this time.</i></p><p id="2741"><i>Either way, I’ll make the money; I’ll do whatever it takes. This thought gives me mild anxiety; I have limitations. Every threshold crossed reduces my certainty of a future.</i></p><p id="b716"><i>Fortunately, I can always revert into a safer state of mind.</i></p><p id="8ec6"><i>This month has been one of practice, reordering; never before have I felt motivated to such extent. I can’t afford to dwell on the possibility of failure.</i></p><p id="b5d5"><i>Every day I near to breaking myself a step further, to losing myself and all that I mean to be with her. Cherished awareness, it is how I hold myself back.</i></p><p id="1633"><i>I’ll be keeping this story to myself from now on. The simple fact is I’m entirely consumed by her; she is my everything, and I will earn her wholly.</i></p><p id="8075"><b><i>To conclude the series—</i></b></p><div id="de2f" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/how-i-think-im-losing-my-shit

Options

-it-s-painful-but-she-s-right-to-block-me-40b081a48307"> <div> <div> <h2>It’s Painful, but She was Right to Block Me</h2> <div><h3>And Why I Think I’ll Be Okay</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*TecqM_4UeQkFV4ob)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><p id="6844"><b><i>Or, to start from the beginning—</i></b></p><div id="53bc" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/i-refuse-to-be-consumed-19ab608f2929"> <div> <div> <h2>I Refuse to Be Consumed — Pt.1</h2> <div><h3>Just Going to Get This Out</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*A7NdcQzycZUjC6IX70_H-Q.png)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="c204" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/be-open-submission-guidelines-41ea51ef4ef1"> <div> <div> <h2>We Invite You to Become Our Writer — Be Open Submission Guidelines</h2> <div><h3>You don’t have to be a great writer or super perfect human to contribute here. I believe everyone can become inspirator…</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*eBrTZS3wC0WwzBZjivi7tg.png)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

Love and Romance

I Refuse to Be Consumed — Pt.7

Self-Endangerment, Overprotection, and the Final Update

Photo by Todd Diemer on Unsplash

Leading a stranger to her home, a ride, an unknown motorcycle, gambling her safety once more.

I should have known she wasn’t done with me. I’m relieved, except she’s upset me profoundly. The stakes have never been higher; she’s clever, and truly I know she is inviting of horrible fates.

This last possibility isn’t even slightly improbable; too often I’ve witnessed her teetering on the edge, endangering herself in ways I could never handle.

I’m consumed by thoughts and fears of losing her.

I recently insisted we cease our phone conversations. She accepted, except I’ve since received another call. Hey story of self-endangerment upset me to my core. She doesn’t play; I’ve seen her risk everything before.

She claims unwillingness to live very long without me. Given the funds, I’d take her far away from everything.

Maybe I could even begin following her out in public— I know it would enthrall her, one day to discover I had. I realize upon saying it, she may rather I just go see her.

I could surprise her with one good set of creepy snaps?

It’s— not an easy plan to exercise at this time.

Either way, I’ll make the money; I’ll do whatever it takes. This thought gives me mild anxiety; I have limitations. Every threshold crossed reduces my certainty of a future.

Fortunately, I can always revert into a safer state of mind.

This month has been one of practice, reordering; never before have I felt motivated to such extent. I can’t afford to dwell on the possibility of failure.

Every day I near to breaking myself a step further, to losing myself and all that I mean to be with her. Cherished awareness, it is how I hold myself back.

I’ll be keeping this story to myself from now on. The simple fact is I’m entirely consumed by her; she is my everything, and I will earn her wholly.

To conclude the series—

Or, to start from the beginning—

Love
Lovestory
True Story
Poetry
Gustave Deresse
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