ECONOMICS

I Recently Scored More Cash in Three Weeks…

… than I’ve ever earned in one month on Medium

Do you want to know how I did it? Hell, yeah, you do and I’m all about sharing, so read on.

And no, I didn’t make the extra cash on Vocal or Substack or News Break or any other platform that reams writers up the ass. I’ve pretty much had it with all of them, especially Vocal, which seems to award the same writers in their various and sundry “competitions.” I call “bullshit” on that.

And you can take your sites like Upwork and shove it up you-know-where.

So how did I achieve this windfall? I’ve been selling some of our “stuff” on Facebook Marketplace! Yes! Me! The Wilhelmina Loman of the Chicago suburbs.

As I’ve been whining about decluttering our home, for years, I’ve finally gotten off my keyster and begun the process. (A car accident with a pending deductible is an excellent catalyst.)

And, the good news is, I have a long way to go because we have a shit-ton of stuff that hasn’t seen the light of day since the Pre-Menopausal Era.

Medium. Yep. Let’s see, folks. I recently got an email telling me that they were sending sixty-five bucks and change to my Stripe account. I applaud their consistency as my earnings have dropped every single month for several months now. With that hunk of dough, I should be able to buy a loaf of bread, a store-brand bag of French Roast coffee, one, twelve-pack of butt-wipe, two packs of Mentos, and a partridge in a friggin’ pear tree. But, who’s complaining?

For a while, I was in the $100 and up, club. Not too exciting though, as the most I’ve earned in any one month SINCE 2018, was $185. Slowly, but surely the numbers tanked, bringing me to a new, all-time low. And this is with gaining followers, subscribers, and new member referrals.

Go figure.

Anyway, my sister has been urging me to try selling our gently used and never-used items on FB and so far, it’s working for me. I was worried about the potential creep factor but I’ve only encountered one and he/she was swiftly blocked and reported.

Today, I finally sold the queen-size, Tempur-Pedic adjustable base that I purchased over a year ago in an attempt to help my husband get a decent night’s sleep. Well, I fucked up. We hated it. It was also too big and bulky for our room, which I should have considered when I bought it, but, after overthinking it, I went for it. Many people love these remote-controlled gizmos, but it just wasn’t for us.

The base was professionally wrapped by Mattress Firm when I also exchanged the damn mattress that I bought with it and since they don’t allow returns on the bases, it’s been sitting in our garage just waiting for a lucky buyer. Of course, I sold it for a song, but it beats a poke in the eye, and as I said, blows my monthly payout, here, out of the water.

Please note that I don’t want to make it appear that selling one’s stuff on Facebook is a picnic because well, it’s still Facebook, get it? And, since I began writing this story yesterday, I’ve had a couple of people renege on me. Still, I’m going to keep at it as I’m committed to decluttering our home, and my head. And, since my recent car accident has effed with my psyche, big time, I need all the help I can get.

Finally, I was thinking that my longtime career as an advertising and marketing writer gives me an edge in that I can pen catchy descriptive copy for all the stuff I’m hawking.

And you know, I can do the same for you. You send me a pic of what you want to sell and I’ll write the description. Of course, you’d have to jack up your selling price in order to compensate me, but, that said, I wouldn’t ask for much. What do you think?

Hey, I can’t help myself. As Alec Baldwin’s character, (known only as “Blake”) said in Glengarry Glen Ross, “always be closing.”

© Sherry McGuinn, 2022. All Rights Reserved.

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Sherry McGuinn is a slightly-twisted, longtime Chicago-area writer and award-winning screenwriter. She is currently pitching her newest screenplay, “The Month We Fell Apart,” a drama with dark, comedic overtones inspired by a true story, as well as “DEAD TIRED,” a female-driven, ass-kicking thriller.