I Read Over 100 Self-Improvement Books to Learn These 10 Life Lessons
The best time to start reading a book was 20 years ago. The second best time is today.
What’s your story?
Stoics (Marcus, Seneca, Epictetus) found reading to distract oneself from worldly concerns.
Here’s what was different: Romans and Greek citizens didn’t have many choices to read books in the olden days. Also, the citizens weren’t literate enough to understand the complexities and analogical terms in the given books.
Now, we have 130M books on the market, making it more challenging to read them all. That’s where summaries, synopsis blogs, and videos come into play. By sharing life lessons from books, you and I can spend time reading books we enjoy together.
I have read over 100 self-improvement books since I was a child, and here are the top 10 lessons that I learned:
1. Either become a champion or a criticizer
Book: Smile at strangers
Getting involved in sports changes your life.
You understand that hard work is not the (only) key to success, but patience. You cannot learn to swim in one day, but you can learn to swim with daily practice. Through the author’s 15 years of karate experience, Susan Schorn realized how to handle anger, fear, discipline, and improve herself.
When you start something new, you’re fighting in the dark. Over time, you learn the tactics and habits needed to survive.
Don’t quit while discovering yourself. Becoming a pro at swimming can take up to 8–10 years, but stopping on your first day will not help. Don’t be your enemy.
Let yourself try. Figure things out. Believe in the Zen rules:
- If you fall seven times, get up eight times
- If you want to feel safe, ready to become uncomfortable
- You’re doing it all wrong, and that’s perfect
There’s no perfect way to become a champion than to keep going.
2. There’s no just-in-case
Book: 4-hour-work-week
I’ve read every book by Timothy Ferris. Here’s why:
- Even though he is rich, he talks in concise language that we all understand
Timothy Ferris often talks about how people plan for contingency situations, construct plan B, and save cash for health problems when none of that happens.
“The worst of what you think never happens,” says Tim.
We spend our whole lives terrorized by the “what if” situations. If something happens, you can figure it out then.
Figure out potential risks to ensure you have enough options when something terrible happens. But never waste time thinking about unlikely events. Because you and I know what we think never happens. Instead, live a little.
Divert your thoughts towards positive things.
3. Learn to strain your thoughts
Book: The Art of Happiness by Dalai Lama
Our mind experiences various thoughts: positive, negative, and hostile.
Train your mind to sieve those thoughts. Make bad reviews turn into fine suggestions.
Your mouth hears what you say. And when you start talking badly, you start contributing to becoming a negative person. As Dalai Lama believes, you can stop that. Being negative has no perks. Instead, sweeten your thinking and become happy.
According to him:
“Let us try to recognize the precious nature of each day.” “Every day, think as you wake up: Today, I am fortunate to be alive; I have a precious human life, and I am not going to waste it.”
You’re fortunate to be alive — so many people never made it today. Don’t waste your time being negative.
4. Your mind is a sponge
Book: Meditations by Marcus Aurelius
Books by Marcus Aurelius and Stoics are an investment.
I might not read them daily, but seeing them on my shelves fills me with contentment. Marcus Aurelius’ meditations consist of lots of small teachings and quotes.
One always strikes me among a thousand wisdom lessons from Marcus Aurelius: “You absorb knowledge based on who you are.”
- You hear bad things if you’re a terrible person
- You hear positive things if you’re a good person
- You’ll listen to critiques if you’re a judgemental person
Your life revolves around how you soak things. This means that if you feel everyone is judging you, conspiring against you, or taking advantage of you, then your number #1 enemy is you.
Recognize and evaluate your thoughts. Next, change them to refine your mindset.
5. How to talk to people is the ultimate skill
Book: How to stop worrying and start living
We had a homecoming party when my parents and I shifted to a bungalow.
There were maids, chefs, and chauffeurs to cater to 200 guests in the garden area. I was overwhelmed by those details and concentrated on playing around with my cousins. One of my cousins shouted at one of the maids as she spilled milk on the floor.
That’s when my father came to him and said:
“If you don’t know how to talk to people less than you, then you and I have a problem in this house.”
Dale Carnegie believes the same. Nobody is your enemy. Talk to people, and become friends with them. This helps you become a good person and makes you look attractive and friendly.
The simplest example of Dale Carnegie’s practical example is Justin Trudeau, who doesn’t hesitate to cycle around the city and chat with people even as the prime minister.
He chooses to do this — because he is a true leader.
6. Focus on the foundations
Book: The last lecture
Randy Pausch, the book’s author, discusses how people build relationships, startups, and organizations without a firm foundation.
A building with no foundation tree or roots cannot survive. Randy quotes:
“Get the fundamentals down. Otherwise, the fancy stuff will fail to work.”
Randy believes that everything is tied to the “why.” Have a solid reason for doing what you’re doing. Because luck hardly works in life, and if you don’t have a plan, you don’t have any reason to survive.
Many startups close down because they don’t aren’t established on proper grounds. To change that, do the following:
- Listen to people
- Know the trends
- Don’t play the game you know you’ll lose
- Think long-term
7. Our pasts do not define us
Book: Man’s search for meaning
Ask an ethic-man about the purpose of his life, and he’ll connect the dots with his ancestors, saying: “This happened to my mother, and hence this will happen to me.”
Genetics is fine. But sometimes, we cross paths where we condemn ourselves to live the same cursed life as our family members.
However, the author denies this fact and says:
“The meaning of life is unique to each moment; no situation repeats itself.”
You may waste time worrying about how the same thing will happen that happened before, but it will not. Life doesn’t give you two chances in the same situations.
Life is unpredictable. Therefore, it’s naïve to link yourself to your ancestral or past situation, plotting out strategies for “what if it happens again.?”
It will never.
8. Develop a miracle morning routine
Book: The 5 am club
We all know we should wake early, but Robin Sharma, in his book, talks about things differently.
He says there’s beauty in waking up early while the world still is sleeping. This process helps you to think differently and develops out-of-the-box thinking.
Just like ordinary people, you feel normal when you start your journey. You can feel special when you wake up early and get your stuff done. Life is all about how you make yourself feel — special or regular.
According to Robin Sharma, do this 20/20/20 framework in your day to lock in high levels of achievement:
- 20: Exercise
- 20: Reflection
- 20: Learning
(20= minutes)
Make it a process. Miracle morning reflection can help enhance your productivity.
9. Relationships aren’t like cake; they’re like muscles
Book: Never eat alone
The author Keith Ferrazzi believes:
“Relationships aren’t like cake; they’re like muscles.”
The more you use them, the stronger they become like muscles. Everyone should worry about connection and networking, even out of college or changing careers.
Here’s why: You must find people ready to stick by your side.
Networking is all about helping. You can help someone, and in return, someone can help you enter the organization with a referral.
In other words, you can never go wrong with connecting. The author gives five tips to make friends and, in turn, nourish your circle:
- Speak less, listen more
- Use the FORD principle: discuss family, organization, recreation, and dreams
- Connect with co-workers without selfish means
- Make sure to keep your friends in the loop
With these strategies, you’ll be entwined to meet again and again. For example, “I owe you a coffee, let go” is an excellent strategy for looking after your networks.
10. Have a goal in mind, always
Book: The obstacle is the way.
Ryan Holiday is a philosophical author who integrates Stoic lessons in his books.
In the book “Obstacle is the Way,” he quotes:
“We forget: It doesn’t matter what happens to you or where you came from. It matters what you do with what happens and what you’ve been given.”
Here are some examples:
- Theodore Roosevelt
- Barack Obama
- Abraham Lincoln
Not all of these successful people came from privileged/successful backgrounds. They had the vision to create something big.
When you have a goal in mind, you use all your means.
In other words, if you have a family, shelter, and food on the table, that’s all you need to become an exception. Stop making excuses.
Get up and try.
Final thoughts:
Can you believe that the dead people left their wisdom in the books, and you choose to ignore it?
- If reading books is hard, read summaries
- If summaries are complex, listen to the podcast
No excuses!
The best time to start reading a book was 20 years ago. The second best time is today.
(Please don’t waste it.)
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