META KICKED IN

I Masturbated in the Metaverse

My advanced copy review

There’s a sense of belonging that dawns on you the first time you wank in the metaverse. I hadn’t metatouched myself for more than forty-two seconds, and I already knew that’s where I had wanted to be my whole life.

I felt accomplished.

And terrified.

In the metaverse, pleasure takes a multidimensional experience. Thanks to advanced neurotechnology you can watch yourself masturbating. That’s WEIRD. Nothing compared with the mirrors we all have been using so far.

In the metaverse it’s 3D.

You watch another person masturbating. You might even experience feelings of dissociation. Then guilt can strike. Because it’s the metaverse and you’re wearing the metasuit, you experience physical pleasure. But as you watch this doppelganger doing it, you start questioning your sexuality.

Are you experiencing pleasure because your neurons are set to masturbation mode, or are you enjoying the view? Did you just become a voyeur? Is this a new dimension to your sexuality you hadn’t explored so far?

No need to close your eyes and try to imagine what it would be like. You just can’t. We’re not wired to take this kind of perspective on any of our actions. We usually cannot take an objective stance and deep dive into our thoughts, desires, and needs.

The metaverse lets you blast the Heisenberg principle into shards.

Now you can touch yourself and watch yourself touching — yourself — at the same time. It’s a guaranteed sensory overload — for the very reason that we’re not wired for it.

The pre-orgasmic impulses keep on knocking on the backdoor of the cortex and reptilian brains. They want in. They want to participate in what they think is a neurotransmitter’s dream of an orgy.

Now picture this.

When I said the metaverse is 3D, I didn’t tell you the whole truth. It’s 4D. It means that you can replay whatever happened there. And by replaying, I mean experiencing it all over again; brain, body, and soul.

It’s not just watching.

You couldn’t grasp all the implications, but give it a try. Imagine replaying the first wank of your life in the metaverse.

Are you scared yet?

These are the questions that come to mind when you take a wank in the metaverse. And, remember, in the version I tested, interactions with other users weren’t available. Honestly, I’m too shaken to think about that.

In summary: I’m addicted and frightened.

Right now, I’m grateful the metaverse is available only for eight hours per day. If not, I would keep on masturbating there and die of hunger here.

What’s the sense of wanting anything if you can experience continuous physical pleasure? Maybe high-level monks could resist this appeal, but I certainly cannot.

With big — balls — thanks to Baskerville Old Face for his inspiring comment here: