I lost $34,000 on the Stock Market: You Can Too!
Buckle up buckaroos, I am about to give you a 34k dollar masterclass on how to lose on the stock market.
If you are as dumb as me you will follow these tips to the T. You too will waste years of your hard earned money.
7 ways to lose thirty thousand dollars on the stock market
Follow these steps to be as dumb as me.
Move and shake
The first thing I did to gain such spectacular losses was move my money too much. The other is to shake out of investments as soon as they turned against me.
If you want to lose a shit ton of money like I did, buy something and then change your mind about it a few weeks later.
If it starts to turn against you, re-evaluate your investment thesis and jump ship.
Good money after bad
The next thing you can do is lean into that gut feeling you have when you are in a losing trade. The need to double down.
Chase that emotion, it will guarantee you lose your ass.
Sure the fundamentals of the stock have deteriorated or the theta decay of the options is the reason for the loss.
But half price!
Buy that shit it’s on discount!
Time travel
I am a time traveler. When I buy a stock I immediately can see my future. I am sitting on a yacht somewhere off the coast of Greece.
It’s amazing.
I can see every one of my stocks are going to shoot through the roof. There is no need to look at the macro environment, the chart setups, or the fundamentals of the company’s balance sheet.
I have a crystal ball and you do too. Look into the future and see how great the stock will be, you are guaranteed to lose your ass.
Chase the crowd
Have you ever heard of stock twits? Wall street bets? They are the best places for all the important information you need to lose your life savings on the stock market.
You know something is the next big thing when its making its waves through social media. That's the early stages.
Do like I do and follow all of these idiots’ advice.
Ignore my gut
I sold 55 Ethereum tokens at $185 dollars a coin. I remember the first time I streamed a movie on Netflix, I looked at their stock and it was $5. What do you think I did?
Nothing.
I bought 2000 shares of GameStop at $2 a share and sold them at $8 and watched it run to $400. I did the same with a doge coin. I bought $500 dollars worth and sold it at $489 because I was scared. It was worth $25k a few weeks later.
If you want to be broke and furiously typing stories onto your old ZenBook I recommend you second guess every investment decision you ever make.
Ignore advice
My wife insisted I buy 10 bitcoins when they dipped to three thousand. She insisted I sell my crypto at the peak in 2021. My friends and family have all recommended different investment decisions and I ignored them.
Why listen?
I have a crystal ball, remember? If you want to lose all your money on the stock market, ignore people that are more successful than you and go at it your own way.
Sell at the bottom
I sold all my stocks in 2008 and 2020. It was great. I locked in losses that would have gone on to double and triple. Not only did I sell, I didn’t invest again for years.
Why would you buy low and sell high?
If you want to lose all your money you need to buy at the peak and sell at the bottom.
Don’t be like me
If you want to lose your hard earned money on the stock market and be embarrassed to hit the “all time” button on your investment chart do all the things I listed above.
If you want to be a successful investor then learn from my mistakes.
Be patient, hold through the rough patches, DCA into sound stocks, take advice from proven successful investors, don’t gamble, and if someone inherently lucky gives you a tip listen.