“I Like That”. How Three Little Words Can Change the World

Why hitting a button is NOT the same as using your words

A few weeks ago, I published a story in Medium and it wasn’t curated.

Not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but it was a story that had meaning to me. I thought it was reasonably well written. It was timely; it flowed well. There was even poetry. But most importantly, I felt that I had put a little of myself out there in sharing it.

I had a mini-pout and moved on.

An interesting thing happened though. A day later a few people within my network had read it, and one person left a comment. The comment was three words long and changed my entire outlook in the moment I read it.

It probably took her less than ten seconds to write and post the comment, but it altered my course of action over the next few days dramatically.

I hadn’t planned to write the next day. But in a moment of previously non-existent motivation, I sat down and wrote a story that I titled The power of being vulnerable. That story was curated. I also had an editor from The Startup send me a note asking permission to distribute within their publication as well.

This was an article I would have never written if not for the comment that person left for me.

After I wrote the story on vulnerability, the next logical thing was to put my money where my mouth was, so to speak. So, I did something I had never done before.

I took the link to the first story (the one where I shared some previously unexposed inner thoughts) and shared it with my social media network.

For many, that is not an act of susceptibility, but it feels like it to me. In the vulnerability story I write about wearing a shell of armor. Most of my social media ‘friends’ know me as that armor shell, and not very much else.

My social media friends are made up mostly of public service professionals, folks from The Mountaineers climbing group, and local volunteer Search & Rescue personnel.

These are people with whom I have run into burning buildings and rappelled off 200-foot cliffs without a second thought. Yet, I was scared to death to share my writing with them.

I would have never shared that link if not for the comment that person left for me.

I am not going to share the specific words the person wrote. They are her gift to me, and I cherish them as such. Suffice to say they were a version of, “I like that”.

If I shared the actual words, they would have no context, and in the absence of perspective, little meaning. The power of the message is the context and timing of delivery, not the specific words.

However, it makes all the difference that she shared words and didn’t simply hit a ‘clap’ or ‘like’ button. Don’t misinterpret me as saying there is no meaning or worth in hitting a button indicating approval. That certainly has its time and place, and in fact most of the time that is the right move.

But sometimes we feel a particular call or draw to something someone else has done. Sometimes we see something and a version of the phrase, “I like that” pops into our head. That is the occasion where sharing those specific words can have significant impact.

We often don’t appreciate the influence that our actions have on others. Words or deeds seemingly insignificant or commonplace to us can have a profound effect on someone else.

There is a great example of this in a TED Talk by Drew Dudley. It is a short video in which he tells about something he did in the moment that was perfectly normal to him that dramatically changed the trajectory of another person’s life. It is worth six minutes if you have time.

The video also serves as a reminder that the technique of sharing when you like something works in real life just as well as in the virtual world. A positive remark offered to someone could have significant impact in the moment. Your particular word combination or non-verbal communication of “I like that” can potentially alter their course of action to the better.

It certainly did with me.

It’s all about the context

So why doesn’t hitting the ‘like’ button have the same result? It is all about the context. When someone has clapped or liked something, the receiver has no idea why. It could be that they like the message, the delivery, or just the socks someone was wearing in a picture that has no relation to the overall significance. There is no context.

That is why words are so powerful. With only a handful of them we can paint a picture and/or convey our feelings. When we do so with respect to another person’s work the meaning magnifies.

When someone gives a piece of themselves, words are how we can give a piece of ourselves in return.

Also, just that action of investing a few seconds of your time beyond what it takes to push a button conveys a message in itself.

Please continue to ‘like’, ‘love’ and ‘clap’ with exuberance whenever the feeling strikes. I know I will. But the next time something is particularly poignant; when something jumps off the page, or you are flooded with emotion, take a few extra seconds to share that feeling with the person that created that for you. Use your words.

There is a good chance that by doing so, you will be changing the world. I have seen it happen.

Timothy Key spent over 26 years in the fire service as a firefighter/paramedic and various fire chief management roles. Now moving forward to writing and consulting. For more articles like this, join the mail list.